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  3. Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

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  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

    @vkc ugh. I saw your earlier post and I'm so sorry 🫂

    A *lot* of (mostly) guys need to learn the difference between appropriate, consensual flirting, and sexual harassment.

    byrnensorg@mastodon.ieB This user is from outside of this forum
    byrnensorg@mastodon.ieB This user is from outside of this forum
    byrnensorg@mastodon.ie
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #50

    @alice @vkc I think you are too generous in assuming the *lot* can learn anything at this stage, it's like teaching a hammer 'there are other things than nails you know'.

    alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • pelle@veganism.socialP pelle@veganism.social shared this topic
    • semitones@tiny.tilde.websiteS semitones@tiny.tilde.website

      @alice I think a lot of guys could also benefit from reading your "sucker punch" post about open registration and moderation. It def opened my eyes so how others are treated on here and elsewhere...

      https://lgbtqia.space/@alice/115499829288185416

      @vkc

      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
      alice@lgbtqia.space
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #51

      @semitones thanks for bringing that up 🩷 seems like a good time to boost that post again.

      @vkc

      steggy@sunny.gardenS 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

        @vkc ugh. I saw your earlier post and I'm so sorry 🫂

        A *lot* of (mostly) guys need to learn the difference between appropriate, consensual flirting, and sexual harassment.

        aprazeth@mstdn.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
        aprazeth@mstdn.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
        aprazeth@mstdn.social
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #52

        @alice @vkc

        Absolutely. We, as men, *must* step up. Not only with standing against sexual harassment; but also the "edgy" comments

        Its easy to spout as a man you'd stand against brutality. But yet we're often quiet when women, POC, are ignored, belittled, etc.

        Creating a world where we all are safe from harm is stopping **all** forms of harassment, staring, belittling, catcalling. At. All. Times.

        Men, we need to do better and hold each other accountable. For everyone, including ourselves

        aprazeth@mstdn.socialA 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

          @bob I always report and block. My problem is I need the collective *you* to report and block. And more.

          bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
          bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
          bob@beamship.mpaq.org
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #53

          @vkc

          Im an admin over here and when i see it, I become a pitbull 😉

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • byrnensorg@mastodon.ieB byrnensorg@mastodon.ie

            @alice @vkc I think you are too generous in assuming the *lot* can learn anything at this stage, it's like teaching a hammer 'there are other things than nails you know'.

            alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
            alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
            alice@lgbtqia.space
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #54

            @byrnensorg I gotta believe we can do better than this, because the alternative is pretty fucking sad.

            @vkc

            byrnensorg@mastodon.ieB 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

              @eq "don't let the idiots get you" - do you see how that puts it on me?

              I trust you mean well, but respectfully: no. The correct response is "men should fight back when they see this amongst themselves."

              It isn't my responsibility to "not let them get me down." It's men who need to step up and fight this battle.

              f4grx@chaos.socialF This user is from outside of this forum
              f4grx@chaos.socialF This user is from outside of this forum
              f4grx@chaos.social
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #55

              @vkc @eq that had to be said ❤️

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • mloxton@med-mastodon.comM mloxton@med-mastodon.com

                @bob

                I think the "I" in that reply needs to be "you" and "me" for that to work.
                If it is just the woman doing the moderation, then those guys just keep doing it, and it becomes "women's work".

                @vkc

                bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
                bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
                bob@beamship.mpaq.org
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #56

                @mloxton @vkc

                When/if i see it on Beamship, i become a pitbull...

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • aprazeth@mstdn.socialA aprazeth@mstdn.social

                  @alice @vkc

                  Absolutely. We, as men, *must* step up. Not only with standing against sexual harassment; but also the "edgy" comments

                  Its easy to spout as a man you'd stand against brutality. But yet we're often quiet when women, POC, are ignored, belittled, etc.

                  Creating a world where we all are safe from harm is stopping **all** forms of harassment, staring, belittling, catcalling. At. All. Times.

                  Men, we need to do better and hold each other accountable. For everyone, including ourselves

                  aprazeth@mstdn.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                  aprazeth@mstdn.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                  aprazeth@mstdn.social
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #57

                  @alice @vkc

                  And that also means at places and times where it is just men around.

                  Especially then.

                  Silence then is implied endorsement later.

                  moondog548@nerdculture.deM 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                    @byrnensorg I gotta believe we can do better than this, because the alternative is pretty fucking sad.

                    @vkc

                    byrnensorg@mastodon.ieB This user is from outside of this forum
                    byrnensorg@mastodon.ieB This user is from outside of this forum
                    byrnensorg@mastodon.ie
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #58

                    @alice @vkc I have noticed today in multiple threads that there's a lot of anger out there and dare I say it, twittification, it's as if mastodon is morphing before our very eyes.

                    alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                      Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                      Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                      sablebadger@dice.campS This user is from outside of this forum
                      sablebadger@dice.campS This user is from outside of this forum
                      sablebadger@dice.camp
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #59

                      @vkc sorry you have to deal with that shit. Dudes need to be better. You shouldn't have to put up with the extra BS just because you're a woman on the internet.

                      If I see I will do my best to call it out. Too much happens in places I can't see which I think is one of the few flaws Masto has. Not sure how to fix that tho. But if I can help I will.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • jirikiha@raphus.socialJ jirikiha@raphus.social

                        @vkc men, do better.

                        Be a man in the internet. Talk about what you like. Cars, weather, trains, sports. See how the replies are on topic.

                        Be a woman on the internet. Talk about what you like.
                        Cars, weather, trains, sports. See the replies talking about your boobs. See the DMs filled with, "hey baby", and unsolicited dick pics.

                        If you are a man, you won't see most - or any! - of what women experience daily online. That doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Your just in a safe little bubble of privilege. Own it, and do better.

                        edgeofeurope@mastodon.socialE This user is from outside of this forum
                        edgeofeurope@mastodon.socialE This user is from outside of this forum
                        edgeofeurope@mastodon.social
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #60

                        @Jirikiha @vkc Men know what men are like.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • jirikiha@raphus.socialJ jirikiha@raphus.social

                          @vkc men, do better.

                          Be a man in the internet. Talk about what you like. Cars, weather, trains, sports. See how the replies are on topic.

                          Be a woman on the internet. Talk about what you like.
                          Cars, weather, trains, sports. See the replies talking about your boobs. See the DMs filled with, "hey baby", and unsolicited dick pics.

                          If you are a man, you won't see most - or any! - of what women experience daily online. That doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Your just in a safe little bubble of privilege. Own it, and do better.

                          cris@social.lolC This user is from outside of this forum
                          cris@social.lolC This user is from outside of this forum
                          cris@social.lol
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #61

                          @Jirikiha @alice @vkc See also: being white on the internet

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • haltroy@mastodon.socialH haltroy@mastodon.social

                            @Orb2069 @vkc It's 2026 and we still dealing with those people's "ideologies" from ancient times of humanity. It haunted everyone back in those days, it haunted everyone through ages and it still keeps haunting people till this moment.

                            moondog548@nerdculture.deM This user is from outside of this forum
                            moondog548@nerdculture.deM This user is from outside of this forum
                            moondog548@nerdculture.de
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #62

                            @haltroy
                            And just like any disease we'll keep fighting it.
                            @Orb2069 @vkc

                            orb2069@mastodon.onlineO 2 Replies Last reply
                            0
                            • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                              Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                              Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                              regguy@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
                              regguy@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
                              regguy@mstdn.social
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #63

                              @vkc Those of us who wouldn't see it much because it isn't directed at us and may never pass through our feed. I guess the best thing is to screenshot the harassment and post it for all to see so we can harass the harasser.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                @eq "don't let the idiots get you" - do you see how that puts it on me?

                                I trust you mean well, but respectfully: no. The correct response is "men should fight back when they see this amongst themselves."

                                It isn't my responsibility to "not let them get me down." It's men who need to step up and fight this battle.

                                matildalove@wetdry.worldM This user is from outside of this forum
                                matildalove@wetdry.worldM This user is from outside of this forum
                                matildalove@wetdry.world
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #64

                                @vkc @eq

                                hey men, don't let the idiots get me

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • aprazeth@mstdn.socialA aprazeth@mstdn.social

                                  @alice @vkc

                                  And that also means at places and times where it is just men around.

                                  Especially then.

                                  Silence then is implied endorsement later.

                                  moondog548@nerdculture.deM This user is from outside of this forum
                                  moondog548@nerdculture.deM This user is from outside of this forum
                                  moondog548@nerdculture.de
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #65

                                  @Aprazeth
                                  This is a huge opportunity. We need to learn *and teach eachother* how to call our brothers in when they're out of line.

                                  We need to know what to do and make it a reflex!
                                  @alice @vkc

                                  alice@lgbtqia.spaceA aprazeth@mstdn.socialA 2 Replies Last reply
                                  0
                                  • mloxton@med-mastodon.comM mloxton@med-mastodon.com

                                    @bob

                                    I think the "I" in that reply needs to be "you" and "me" for that to work.
                                    If it is just the woman doing the moderation, then those guys just keep doing it, and it becomes "women's work".

                                    @vkc

                                    regguy@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
                                    regguy@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
                                    regguy@mstdn.social
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #66

                                    @mloxton Matthew, I agree with you, we need to deal with it. But to be quite frank, I rarely see it. Not that I'm not looking, rather it's ususally beyond what is in my feed, and therefore I can't respond. I suggest we broadcast, or perhaps create a list that can be used and these women can PM that list with what's happening. I'd be happy to help, but I don't see it, thus I can't help. @bob @vkc

                                    mloxton@med-mastodon.comM 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                      Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                      Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                      carloshr@lile.clC This user is from outside of this forum
                                      carloshr@lile.clC This user is from outside of this forum
                                      carloshr@lile.cl
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #67

                                      @vkc @Nickiquote fuck that guys! I consider necessary to expose them but even more important is ton promote a culture where that behaviour is never accepted.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • semitones@tiny.tilde.websiteS semitones@tiny.tilde.website

                                        @alice I think a lot of guys could also benefit from reading your "sucker punch" post about open registration and moderation. It def opened my eyes so how others are treated on here and elsewhere...

                                        https://lgbtqia.space/@alice/115499829288185416

                                        @vkc

                                        duckwhistle@mastodon.org.ukD This user is from outside of this forum
                                        duckwhistle@mastodon.org.ukD This user is from outside of this forum
                                        duckwhistle@mastodon.org.uk
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #68

                                        @semitones @alice @vkc
                                        made me take notice too!

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • regguy@mstdn.socialR regguy@mstdn.social

                                          @mloxton Matthew, I agree with you, we need to deal with it. But to be quite frank, I rarely see it. Not that I'm not looking, rather it's ususally beyond what is in my feed, and therefore I can't respond. I suggest we broadcast, or perhaps create a list that can be used and these women can PM that list with what's happening. I'd be happy to help, but I don't see it, thus I can't help. @bob @vkc

                                          mloxton@med-mastodon.comM This user is from outside of this forum
                                          mloxton@med-mastodon.comM This user is from outside of this forum
                                          mloxton@med-mastodon.com
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #69

                                          @RegGuy

                                          I hear you, and the same situation exists wrt racism. People of color say they get a ton of racist interactions, but I don't see it, so don't respond.

                                          I think three things are going on:
                                          1. There are things that *I* don't perceive as racist/sexist, but are experienced as such by the target. That bc the perpetrator is modulating to escape detection
                                          2. There are things that I haven't realized are racist and sexist, and I need to educate myself
                                          3. I am not in those environments
                                          @bob @vkc

                                          regguy@mstdn.socialR sri@mastodon.socialS 2 Replies Last reply
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