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  3. Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

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  • aprazeth@mstdn.socialA aprazeth@mstdn.social

    @moondog548 @alice @vkc

    There are differing styles of communication and personalities to take into account, so don't necessarily use these as-is. Adapt to your situation/style/personality

    Some examples to get started (for the edgy remark retorts)

    - Not cool dude
    - that's fucked up
    - ask them to explain what they meant, make them explain their "edgy" stuff

    But above all, be the better example. Support women, POC, LGBTQ, and *believe them* when they call out stuff

    aprazeth@mstdn.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
    aprazeth@mstdn.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
    aprazeth@mstdn.social
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #87

    @moondog548 @alice @vkc

    And keep in mind: some men will just be monsters. No amount of social pressure or calling out will work on them as they keep making those remarks

    In those instances - ostracize them from your life, and warn others. Do not accept them as "quirky but harmless". Because it will escalate, and will draw in others. That will prompt "but he says it, and it's accepted so I should be able to say it as well"

    > Silence now is implied endorsement later.

    1 Reply Last reply
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    • moondog548@nerdculture.deM moondog548@nerdculture.de

      @Aprazeth
      This is a huge opportunity. We need to learn *and teach eachother* how to call our brothers in when they're out of line.

      We need to know what to do and make it a reflex!
      @alice @vkc

      aprazeth@mstdn.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
      aprazeth@mstdn.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
      aprazeth@mstdn.social
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #88

      @moondog548 @alice @vkc

      There are differing styles of communication and personalities to take into account, so don't necessarily use these as-is. Adapt to your situation/style/personality

      Some examples to get started (for the edgy remark retorts)

      - Not cool dude
      - that's fucked up
      - ask them to explain what they meant, make them explain their "edgy" stuff

      But above all, be the better example. Support women, POC, LGBTQ, and *believe them* when they call out stuff

      aprazeth@mstdn.socialA 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

        Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

        Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

        pacavegano@friendica.odonian.orgP This user is from outside of this forum
        pacavegano@friendica.odonian.orgP This user is from outside of this forum
        pacavegano@friendica.odonian.org
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #89

        @vkc I’m very sorry to hear this. Just this morning I watched your videos on installing Linux on Chromebooks and comparing standard Mint to Debian Mint (loved the visual REM reference, btw). And a few days ago your video about installing Linux on M1 Macs inspired me to do just that.

        You’re doing great work, and I really appreciate you being on PeerTube. Thanks much!

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

          Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

          Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

          lexinova@cyberplace.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
          lexinova@cyberplace.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
          lexinova@cyberplace.social
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #90

          @vkc had some best way not engage ignore block report.

          if you engage, you already lost.

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • mloxton@med-mastodon.comM mloxton@med-mastodon.com

            @RegGuy
            At risk of flooding out Veronica's voice here (a real risk and also sexism), yeah, the overt "hey you b*tch" stuff is easy to spot.
            More difficult is the coded stuff. Using innocent words to highlight "feminine" vs "masculine" aspects
            Even more difficult is noticing undue focus, undue exclusion, and seemingly automatic assumptions that a woman should be more caring or gentle, or be the default peacemaker, etc.

            It takes a lot of work, persistence, and attention

            @bob @vkc

            bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
            bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
            bob@beamship.mpaq.org
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #91

            @mloxton @RegGuy @vkc

            I do a lot of coding for the MPAQ network. Sitting here working on other things and wondering if i could build a database/site to collect names@instances that someone sends...

            mloxton@med-mastodon.comM 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB bob@beamship.mpaq.org

              @mloxton @RegGuy @vkc

              I do a lot of coding for the MPAQ network. Sitting here working on other things and wondering if i could build a database/site to collect names@instances that someone sends...

              mloxton@med-mastodon.comM This user is from outside of this forum
              mloxton@med-mastodon.comM This user is from outside of this forum
              mloxton@med-mastodon.com
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #92

              @bob
              There is something like that afaik
              Not sure if it wound up as an app, but women were circulating a blocklist of known gremlins

              @RegGuy @vkc

              bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB 1 Reply Last reply
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              • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                coriopsicologia@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                coriopsicologia@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                coriopsicologia@mastodon.social
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #93

                @vkc

                I just can send you hugs, and apple pies.

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                  Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                  Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                  valen1@mstdn.socialV This user is from outside of this forum
                  valen1@mstdn.socialV This user is from outside of this forum
                  valen1@mstdn.social
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #94

                  @vkc Real men understand what consent means. Real men don't treat women like garbage. Real men fight that shit.

                  Be a real man, not garbage who make women uncomfortable to be who they are.

                  #FightThatShit

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                    Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                    Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                    64bithero@mstdn.games6 This user is from outside of this forum
                    64bithero@mstdn.games6 This user is from outside of this forum
                    64bithero@mstdn.games
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #95

                    @vkc for anyone openly harassing someone on the Fediverse please leave and never come back.

                    Sorry to hear what you are dealing with

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                      Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                      Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                      europlus@social.europlus.zoneE This user is from outside of this forum
                      europlus@social.europlus.zoneE This user is from outside of this forum
                      europlus@social.europlus.zone
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #96

                      @vkc I’m sorry the grubs are still around 😞

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • alex02@elonsucks.orgA alex02@elonsucks.org

                        @vkc no it is not and quite frankly your response is quite obnoxious. If we can't talk about problems collectively on this shithole platform and only talk about one thing at a time than it becomes loose islands among the rest of the sewage, but fine whatever. Thank you for proving my point about how hostile this place is becoming with all you morons whining, but yet do this type of shit. Anyways, enjoy the block. I generally don't care.

                        64bithero@mstdn.games6 This user is from outside of this forum
                        64bithero@mstdn.games6 This user is from outside of this forum
                        64bithero@mstdn.games
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #97

                        @alex02 @vkc go to Twitter go to Bluesky. She’s not asking for argument.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                          Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                          Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                          claudiaxm@mstdn.caC This user is from outside of this forum
                          claudiaxm@mstdn.caC This user is from outside of this forum
                          claudiaxm@mstdn.ca
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #98

                          @vkc I’m sorry for what you went through. Hope you’re doing ok.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • mloxton@med-mastodon.comM mloxton@med-mastodon.com

                            @bob
                            There is something like that afaik
                            Not sure if it wound up as an app, but women were circulating a blocklist of known gremlins

                            @RegGuy @vkc

                            bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
                            bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
                            bob@beamship.mpaq.org
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #99

                            @mloxton @RegGuy @vkc

                            Been searching but no luck finding a site that would let someone "report a bad user"...

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                              Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                              Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                              jaykass@mastodon.onlineJ This user is from outside of this forum
                              jaykass@mastodon.onlineJ This user is from outside of this forum
                              jaykass@mastodon.online
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #100

                              @vkc
                              Gods dang it, fedi. Be better.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                travisfw@fosstodon.orgT This user is from outside of this forum
                                travisfw@fosstodon.orgT This user is from outside of this forum
                                travisfw@fosstodon.org
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #101

                                @vkc okay, how to take responsibility for fedi culture. Hmm. Sure can look for it and push back, if I happen to see it at the right time, but that seems minimal.
                                I wonder if anyone has tried setting up a honeypot for sexual harassment?

                                1 Reply Last reply
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                                • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                  Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                  Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                  njwookie@mindly.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                                  njwookie@mindly.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                                  njwookie@mindly.social
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #102

                                  @vkc

                                  Sorry this happen to you. There are fighters out there but it's a tough fight and big Fediverse.

                                  Fedi needs a hashtag that is a call to action to fight harassment and bigotry. Blocking or muting isn't enough. There should be a way to call in the Calvary to defend those being attacked.

                                  Simply reply with #StompTheBully (or something) and the good guys show up to shut things down. Summon the guard dogs and we'll show up. As 6'5" father of a mess of daughters nothing makes me happier when my crew needs me for some "Big Dog Energy".

                                  stingraybadger@zirk.usS 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • moondog548@nerdculture.deM moondog548@nerdculture.de

                                    @haltroy
                                    And just like any disease we'll keep fighting it.
                                    @Orb2069 @vkc

                                    orb2069@mastodon.onlineO This user is from outside of this forum
                                    orb2069@mastodon.onlineO This user is from outside of this forum
                                    orb2069@mastodon.online
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #103

                                    @moondog548
                                    This is the way.

                                    @haltroy @vkc

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                      Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                      Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                      dcgirl@boop.cityD This user is from outside of this forum
                                      dcgirl@boop.cityD This user is from outside of this forum
                                      dcgirl@boop.city
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #104

                                      @vkc people want women on the fediverse? That’s news to me.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                        Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                        Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                        anne_twain@theblower.auA This user is from outside of this forum
                                        anne_twain@theblower.auA This user is from outside of this forum
                                        anne_twain@theblower.au
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #105

                                        @vkc Yeah it's amazing how, when you talk about arsehole behaviour on social media, arseholes arrive to demonstrate exactly what you were talking about.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                          Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                          Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                          bredroll@mas.toB This user is from outside of this forum
                                          bredroll@mas.toB This user is from outside of this forum
                                          bredroll@mas.to
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #106

                                          @vkc holy shit, why do assholes feel the need to come out of the swamp! so sorry you (and everyone else) have had to undure that kind of crap 😞

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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