What the actual fuck.
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"Launching a constellation of a million satellites that operate as orbital data centers is a first step toward becoming a Kardashev II-level situation"
THIS IS IN AN FCC FILING NOT A SCIENCE FICTION NOVEL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I'M DEAD
@sundogplanets the performance of total seriousness, no matter how absurd the goal, is critical to tech oligarchs' "fake it til you rule the world" strategy. it rarely survives contact with reality but the damage it does is of course very real.
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"Launching a constellation of a million satellites that operate as orbital data centers is a first step toward becoming a Kardashev II-level situation"
THIS IS IN AN FCC FILING NOT A SCIENCE FICTION NOVEL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I'M DEAD
@sundogplanets Sounds like they used AI to generate this. The Kardashev scale is a classification of _civilization_, not "situation". I see this sort of auto-correct in lots of AI slop.
Recent news articles kept referring to Tom Human as the Border Guard.
If this wasn't so serious, I'd laugh.
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Just so long as you remember to dodge them. The fireworks SpaceX provided last year over the Caribbean did endanger commercial flights. Now it would be brought everywhere on the planet.
@GhostOnTheHalfShell @sundogplanets SpaceX's unwillingness to be good citizens, and the US government's unwillingness to do anything about it...people are going to die eventually, and possibly a lot of them.
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
What people should suggest is that Elon Musk personally move himself into space to oversee the development of his glorious satellite network.
By all means, we should hurry him to the asteroid belt personally so he can collect the raw materials and then fashion the satellites. Tell him it will cut launch cost costs.
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@kwayk42 @dougwade @sundogplanets
A rail gun is completely unnecessary. As a scientist pointed out back in the good old Ronnie Reagan, Star Wars days. The way you defeat a network of satellites is to throw a bucket of sand into the right orbit.
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Just so long as you remember to dodge them. The fireworks SpaceX provided last year over the Caribbean did endanger commercial flights. Now it would be brought everywhere on the planet.
@GhostOnTheHalfShell @W6KME @sundogplanets
Let's remember who we're talking about here...
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https://cyberplace.social/@GossiTheDog/115989156933538439 -
I feel like this is a good time for everyone to go read "More Everything Forever" by @adambecker.bsky.social because that completely unrealistic and awful techbro mentality/religion the only way to explain this FCC filing (and that book explains this very clearly!)
Time to go outside and listen to NZ birds as the sun comes up, because fuck SpaceX.
@sundogplanets @adambecker.bsky.social brilliant book and well worth the read. Every time I hear someone mentioning one of these tech bros being intelligent I want a copy to throw at their head. Maybe we need to start explaining to politicians that if LEO is a shooting gallery it means no more GPS, do they remember what it was like navigating the world with paper maps, because we are going back there.
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I noticed in the credits of re-watching the 4K remastering of Hard Boiled that there was some security company called Starlink, decades ago. fElon Musk couldn't even pick a name that hadn't already been used before.
IMHO, it would probably be cheaper to run fiber to the home, even in the most remote rural areas, than to pollute our skies with satellites for high latency Internet access. But, what do I know? I think last time I checked a 50km spool of single mode fiber could be bought for under $1000.@teajaygrey @sundogplanets the cost of the fibre link is not mainly about the physical cable. The thing that takes time and money is getting permits for digging up roads, access through private fields, planning permission for connection points, and so on. And each new route of cable has to have this sorted from scratch, and some public authorities are slow, obstructive or just downright awkward.
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets I’m (jokingly) pretty sure aliens are behind this stupidity. Why else would we be purposely stranding ourselves on this planet by filling up the sky with space junk?
Oh right, because we can…
Times like these I like to disassociate much more hilarious reasons than what reality actually offers, as to why things they way they are. Today it’s aliens, tomorrow? Tardigrades maybe.
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"Launching a constellation of a million satellites that operate as orbital data centers is a first step toward becoming a Kardashev II-level situation"
THIS IS IN AN FCC FILING NOT A SCIENCE FICTION NOVEL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I'M DEAD
@sundogplanets god damn cardassians!!!!! /s
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Bezos: Oh yeah? Well AWS will put TWO million data centers in orbit!
China: Let 5 million space data centers bloom!
Musk: Well, then SpaceX will put TEN million centers in orbit!
Bezos: Fine! ELEVENTY million AWS centers!
Musk: Hah! TWELVETY million SpaceX centers! Each with a cool robot!
Bezos: Meh-meh-meh-robot-meh. Amazon has robots.
Musk: But not COOL robots.
@jakebrake @sundogplanets
Cool 'robots' that are just remote waldos... -
What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
Dieser neuerliche SpaceX/Musk-Blödsinn wird sachlich zerlegt in diesem Astro-Blog
https://www.bernd-leitenberger.de/blog/2026/01/27/musks-ki-rechenzentren-im-orbit/#more-18511
Liest sich nicht immer flüssig, wirkt aber sachlich fundiert.
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@Pepijn @sundogplanets Only if Step 2 involves a knife missiile.
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@PalmAndNeedle @sundogplanets I think I've read that, ages ago. Time for a reread, maybe! My library has it online.
@deborahh @sundogplanets long at times. And kinda weirdly chunked up. But enjoyable
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets
All in sun synchronous orbit?
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@spycrab @dougwade @sundogplanets but I can still shoot them once they're caught in a net though right?
@kwayk42 @spycrab @dougwade @sundogplanets for me, watching the fireballs as they burn up in reentry as the spacecraft that is the net fires its thrusters to take them down, would be more satisfying than smashing them to hazardous bits still in orbit.
(The pollution from the reentry isn’t great, but the smashed bits would reenter eventually anyway, so it’s the same pollution with different timing)
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets Preparing exciting stories to sell their IPO?
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets Shortsighted? No, I think they've invested long-term in SpaceX stock.
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets Apropos of nothing, I recommend Becky Chambers’ SciFi book “The Galaxy, and the Ground Within”. A great read premised on the Kessler Effect.
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets I'd still like journalists to start asking questions when "data centers in space" come up. Questions like:
-"How will you cool them?"
I really can't imagine there's a whole business plan drawn up thinking "space is really cold" will solve it but I'm starting to doubt ...
