Cowboy Space (I hate their name so much) published their consolidated response a week ago but we just noticed it.
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@sundogplanets Besides orbit geometry and Kessler syndrome etc., how would they deal with waste heat?!
@sundogplanets And besides detrimental effects on astronomy and just everything of course...
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This company also posted an ex parte filing (which means they had a super special extra FCC meeting), their satellites are too fucking huge to even be physically possible. They just can't fucking do this.
My estimate from looking at this ridiculous sketch is 8x60x10m solar panels... that's a reflecting area of 4800 m^2. The International Space Station, the biggest thing in orbit, has a solar panel area of about 3400 m^2.
@sundogplanets Hang on, does that diagram imply the satellites they want to launch are so big that they'd need custom rockets to launch them?
Somehow I suspect they think that's a flex, which it really, really isn't
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@sundogplanets It's still insane that one national agency can approve something like that that has an effect on every country and every other human on this planet.
@mschfr @sundogplanets this is the actual problem.
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Cowboy Space (I hate their name so much) published their consolidated response a week ago but we just noticed it. EDIT: It was due at 5pm EDT today. So... I guess I have to read this shit. Swearing a lot here will get me through it.
A reminder: this is the 4th company that wants to launch fucking enormous "AI data center" satellites into sun-synchronous terminator orbits, giving Earth a ring. This particular company wants 20,000 satellites in one ring.
@sundogplanets But don't all satellites eventually drop out of orbit?
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@sundogplanets This is so colossally stupid. Like, I know AI + Space! is a perfect VC honeypot but has anyone even thought about the fact that GPUs go out of date inside like 2-3 years? Are they really planning to launch 10,000 satellites per year indefinitely?
Also, has anyone given ANY thought to radiation hardening? GPUs of the sort that people are using for AI are typically manufactured on a 3nm process or so. Most orbital hardware which we actually want to keep running is manufactured on like 50nm because radiation absolutely destroys tiny circuits.
But I'm sure it'll be fine...
@faithisleaping @sundogplanets
Yep. That's what I told a student of mine, who brought up the idea of these AI satellites.
I remember the time when NASA was paying silly money for original old Intel chips because they needed them for space applications that ran longer than anticipated.
BTW, you don't even need to go to space for that kind of problem: I once built a "supercomputer" with a load of RAM and you could measure solar activity from the ECC error logs
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This stuff makes no business or even physical sense.
Thus it's a psychological operation?
@murodegrizeco @sundogplanets I think they've realized they don't even have to sell anything to make money. You get investors into your nonsense and then you pay your other companies to do the things you know are pointless and won't lead to anything. Bankrupt the one people invested in when reality hits and walk away with your paid fulfillment contracts.
So long as the big fish still make out nobody gives a shit. Bribe the man to look the other way and only unimportant people complain.
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@GhostOnTheHalfShell @sundogplanets I actually got a note today from a compsci guy I've known for many, many years asking if those things could be repurposed to actually burn stuff on the ground. So this is already in people's minds.
@lauren @GhostOnTheHalfShell @sundogplanets That’s basically the plot of Real Genius.
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Wait. Are they saying that they are magically going to build an entire new rocket in 3 months?
This really is quite the scam.
@michael_w_busch @sundogplanets FWIW, their rocket+spacecraft bus+lots of solar panels concept has existed (in powerpoint, naturally) for a lot longer, their original grift was a space based solar power startup called Aetherflux before they pivoted to AI around the end of 2025 https://mastodon.social/@reedmideke/116581799330100949
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And then there's a whole section where they say that the FCC isn't allowed to consider environmental regulations, and they point to Reflect Orbital getting approved where the FCC specifically said they're not allowed to consider anything except radio broadcasts. This section might actually make me cry.
Next section is just... complaining, I think?
And then they end with saying that clearly they need to be approved.
Fuck you, FCC. Kessler Syndrome is on you.
@sundogplanets Fascist times are always the times of buffoons, but that doesn’t make them any less dangerous.
Wunderwaffen..
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@sundogplanets Regarding that last point: isn't there anything that can be done from abroad to stop this madness? Why can the FCC alone decide what is appropriate to put in orbit of the whole world?
I dread the "the Americans went nuts and that's why we cannot go to space" chapter of future history books.
@jkb @sundogplanets Fascism ends by only revolution or defeat in war. It’s not logically contestable!
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@michael_w_busch @sundogplanets FWIW, their rocket+spacecraft bus+lots of solar panels concept has existed (in powerpoint, naturally) for a lot longer, their original grift was a space based solar power startup called Aetherflux before they pivoted to AI around the end of 2025 https://mastodon.social/@reedmideke/116581799330100949
Recursive vaporware. Great.
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@sundogplanets Jesus, "retired engineers" sending AI generated code, in addition to AI generated drafts of new cosmology-breaking theories is officially my new nightmare...
I miss the crackpots of yesteryear, who knew that creating insane cosmologies took a serious hands-on work ethic.
Today's crackpots have it so easy with their LLMs and whatnot. End of an era.
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@sundogplanets Just hope that there's not also an astrology section coming
@rwaschbaer @sundogplanets Just noting that "physics" and "psychics" are virtually typos of each other
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WOW it gets even more whimsical and hand-wavy in the orbital debris section. Actual quote: "Certain commenters raise concerns regarding the extent of the orbital debris mitigation information provided in the application but ignore Cowboy Space’s steadfast commitment to operating
safely."In other words: "Why won't scientists believe the words that we wrote down without any actual data, information, citations, or sketches?"
Oh, come on they have lots and lots of CGI. At least I know everything associated with Elon Musk is CGI heavy. It is a pattern that’s persistent across vanity, projects of Petro state rulers, and entrepreneurs who want to build hotels on the moon.
We all know we can live in James Bond film!
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HAHAHA wow apparently they shouldn't have to provide any kind of debris mitigation plan because they haven't built the satellites yet.
OK but like... why are you filing if you haven't built the fucking satellites yet?? Weren't you complaining earlier about "warehousing" orbits? WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING DOING RIGHT NOW HMMMM??
Then they go on to say that the FCC shouldn't have to think about aggregate collision risk. Just consider one satellite at a time please, ignore the other 19,999
@sundogplanets These Ponzi schemes are getting more elaborate and destructive.
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Recursive vaporware. Great.
@michael_w_busch @reedmideke @sundogplanets God do I want to corner one of these bros and have them explain SSO Eclipse Season to me...
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I miss the crackpots of yesteryear, who knew that creating insane cosmologies took a serious hands-on work ethic.
Today's crackpots have it so easy with their LLMs and whatnot. End of an era.
@Phosphenes @sundogplanets Totally. "This in attachment is my conversation with chatgpt, I hope you can find it interesting.." etc
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@sundogplanets Their demo video is not reassuring: https://youtu.be/xt_Kn4DggPg?t=122
I can’t help from working that the American accents feel extremely forced. It’s almost like they were told to speak away. Say a British audience imagine they did..
Remind you, I really love all the old bond flicks
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Sure, completely untested, brand-fucking-new company that has never built or launched a satellite. You can definitely launch 20,000 of the biggest satellites ever built.
Oh apparently their first demo mission is scheduled for OCTOBER 2026? Gosh these guys are fucking unreal. The mission is listed as "power beaming demonstration"
What does that even fucking mean? Guess they're going to fry some birds and maybe some pilots? Hm. Watch for that I guess.
@sundogplanets
The science fiction i read as a teenager had more credibility than this. -
Cowboy Space (I hate their name so much) published their consolidated response a week ago but we just noticed it. EDIT: It was due at 5pm EDT today. So... I guess I have to read this shit. Swearing a lot here will get me through it.
A reminder: this is the 4th company that wants to launch fucking enormous "AI data center" satellites into sun-synchronous terminator orbits, giving Earth a ring. This particular company wants 20,000 satellites in one ring.
@sundogplanets “cowboy” and science makes me think of early nuclear experiments like the Demon Core, or the meltdown that happened in my community in the 50s cause they kept turning the reactor back on without figuring out why they had to keep hitting SCRAM.
