a while ago I made a bunch of unhinged requests to Amazon's shopping AI about things like "the best conceal carry holster for my dog" and I'm pleased to announce it's paid off

[alyx@frogs.lgbt]

@daf ah, I was going for the looksmaxxing type of bone smashing. I followed up with absurd questions about products to reshape "canthal tilt".

[daf@frogs.lgbt]

@alyx i don’t think i want to know what that means

[alyx@frogs.lgbt]

@daf basically it's a brainrot trend for cis men who don't think they're masculine enough who are trying to get a gigachad jawline by literally smashing the bones in their face with hammers that's been going around twitter and tiktok and everywhere else

[chocobo13@mastodon.social]

@alyx
Finally, traumatizing one's own body for appearances is available to more than one of the common gender roles.
@daf

[penguin42@mastodon.org.uk]

@alyx So what armament has the cat got?

[cocaine_owlbear@retro.pizza]

@alyx I like how having a doberman with bionic recoil suppression, a Glock 40, and being trained in the use of force is apparently equivalent to owning a cat.

[zenheathen@beige.party]

@alyx do *not* mess with that cat

[reasonablemustelid@furries.club]

@penguin42 @alyx a withering judgmental glare

[alyx@frogs.lgbt]

hopefully this poisons my advertising data for years to come

[tthbaltazar@chaos.social]

@alyx
recommended for you: prosthetic for dog, handgun cleaning kit, a manifesto from some random white cis guy

[cap_ybarra@beige.party]

@alyx this is my favorite thing i've seen today

[fraggle@social.coop]

@alyx dog is highly trained in the use of a glock 40; goose is not valued

[oddhack@mstdn.social]

@alyx Cat's role is to organize and deploy Dog on field missions, ala "M" (or maybe Oscar Goldman).

[somebody@circumstances.run]

@alyx holy shit this is amazing

[stompyrobot@mastodon.gamedev.place]

@alyx Are you carrying your dog concealed, or is your dog carrying concealed, though?
I could go for the former!

[rogerb@mastodon.scot]

@alyx @daf
So Pratchett's retro-phrenology made real ?

[ozzelot@mstdn.social]

@alyx
Dog with a glock vs regular unarmed cat...

My money's still on the cat.

[nuclearoatmeal@beige.party]

@alyx

You've convinced me to have my imaginary cat get his black belt in many martial arts

[alyx@frogs.lgbt]

@ozzelot imagining a show like the Disney show "Dog with a blog" but it's "Dog with a Glock"

[nuclearoatmeal@beige.party]

@alyx

And so it begins...