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  3. When your friend/loved one tries something new, PLEASE encourage them and don't shit on them just because they're not instantly a whiz at it...

When your friend/loved one tries something new, PLEASE encourage them and don't shit on them just because they're not instantly a whiz at it...

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  • harmonycorrupted@kinkycats.orgH harmonycorrupted@kinkycats.org

    When your friend/loved one tries something new, PLEASE encourage them and don't shit on them just because they're not instantly a whiz at it...

    Don't get competitive. Don't get jealous. Don't "test" them. Under NO circumstances pass judgement unprompted and without being constructive.

    All these behaviors might seem funny in the moment but they are deeply damaging.

    Sounds so obvious yet most people I've met have sucked at it

    nyovaya@transfem.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
    nyovaya@transfem.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
    nyovaya@transfem.social
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #3

    @harmonycorrupted@kinkycats.org Do people get jealous on purpose? I dont think so.

    harmonycorrupted@kinkycats.orgH 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • nyovaya@transfem.socialN nyovaya@transfem.social

      @harmonycorrupted@kinkycats.org Do people get jealous on purpose? I dont think so.

      harmonycorrupted@kinkycats.orgH This user is from outside of this forum
      harmonycorrupted@kinkycats.orgH This user is from outside of this forum
      harmonycorrupted@kinkycats.org
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #4

      @nyovaya may have been unfortunate phrasing on my part (English isn't my first language) but I do think that, if determined to, jealousy can (and should) be kept at bay and redirected into a healthier reaction. Just like you'd expect others to rein in their anger. Or basically, *at the very least*, people should keep their feelings of jealousy to themselves and not passive-agressively put or project them on others.

      nyovaya@transfem.socialN stevewfolds@mastodon.worldS 2 Replies Last reply
      0
      • harmonycorrupted@kinkycats.orgH harmonycorrupted@kinkycats.org

        It invites further debate... I personally don't think that "talent" is a thing. Or at the very least shouldn't be the "end all be all" to someone trying their hand at arts.

        If you LOVE art and are passionate about it, good news: you CAN make art!!!

        Practicing is great but don't live by someone's arbitrary idea of what constitutes "grace" and "great art"

        kats@chaosfem.twK This user is from outside of this forum
        kats@chaosfem.twK This user is from outside of this forum
        kats@chaosfem.tw
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #5

        @harmonycorrupted The consensus among creative types is that talent is definitely a thing, but...

        • Talent is no use by itself. It's a multiplier for the hard work of practice.
        • Dedicated hard work will beat pure talent, every time.

        I think the idea of a prodigy who succeeds through sheer talent, is an appealing myth for a few reasons. Largely it's for people who don't want to face the part about hard work.
        First, it's used as an excuse: "I'd love to {become an artist, play piano, etc.} but I don't have any talent." When you answer with "that doesn't matter; most of the best just worked hard at it for years" they stammer excuses for why they couldn't do that.
        It also plays into the "chosen one" idea in fantasy such as Star Wars.

        harmonycorrupted@kinkycats.orgH 1 Reply Last reply
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        • kats@chaosfem.twK kats@chaosfem.tw

          @harmonycorrupted The consensus among creative types is that talent is definitely a thing, but...

          • Talent is no use by itself. It's a multiplier for the hard work of practice.
          • Dedicated hard work will beat pure talent, every time.

          I think the idea of a prodigy who succeeds through sheer talent, is an appealing myth for a few reasons. Largely it's for people who don't want to face the part about hard work.
          First, it's used as an excuse: "I'd love to {become an artist, play piano, etc.} but I don't have any talent." When you answer with "that doesn't matter; most of the best just worked hard at it for years" they stammer excuses for why they couldn't do that.
          It also plays into the "chosen one" idea in fantasy such as Star Wars.

          harmonycorrupted@kinkycats.orgH This user is from outside of this forum
          harmonycorrupted@kinkycats.orgH This user is from outside of this forum
          harmonycorrupted@kinkycats.org
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #6

          @KatS very well-put!!👏🏻

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • harmonycorrupted@kinkycats.orgH harmonycorrupted@kinkycats.org

            @nyovaya may have been unfortunate phrasing on my part (English isn't my first language) but I do think that, if determined to, jealousy can (and should) be kept at bay and redirected into a healthier reaction. Just like you'd expect others to rein in their anger. Or basically, *at the very least*, people should keep their feelings of jealousy to themselves and not passive-agressively put or project them on others.

            nyovaya@transfem.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
            nyovaya@transfem.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
            nyovaya@transfem.social
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #7

            @harmonycorrupted@kinkycats.org Oh so you just meant how one expresses these feelings, then I would agree, thought its about the feelings overall popping up.

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • harmonycorrupted@kinkycats.orgH harmonycorrupted@kinkycats.org

              @nyovaya may have been unfortunate phrasing on my part (English isn't my first language) but I do think that, if determined to, jealousy can (and should) be kept at bay and redirected into a healthier reaction. Just like you'd expect others to rein in their anger. Or basically, *at the very least*, people should keep their feelings of jealousy to themselves and not passive-agressively put or project them on others.

              stevewfolds@mastodon.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
              stevewfolds@mastodon.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
              stevewfolds@mastodon.world
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #8

              @harmonycorrupted @nyovaya
              Practice is often mistaken for talent.

              fandasin@social.linux.pizzaF 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • harmonycorrupted@kinkycats.orgH harmonycorrupted@kinkycats.org

                When your friend/loved one tries something new, PLEASE encourage them and don't shit on them just because they're not instantly a whiz at it...

                Don't get competitive. Don't get jealous. Don't "test" them. Under NO circumstances pass judgement unprompted and without being constructive.

                All these behaviors might seem funny in the moment but they are deeply damaging.

                Sounds so obvious yet most people I've met have sucked at it

                lumi@snug.moeL This user is from outside of this forum
                lumi@snug.moeL This user is from outside of this forum
                lumi@snug.moe
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #9

                @harmonycorrupted it's gross when people needlessly discourage others from doing what they want to do. shouldn't we all try to be supportive of one-another?

                if there is no reason why what they're doing is problematic, at least don't break them down over it. and preferably encourage them

                breaking people down will only foster a toxic environment for everyone, where no-one feels like they can truly be themself; where no-one feels like they can express themself

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • harmonycorrupted@kinkycats.orgH harmonycorrupted@kinkycats.org

                  It invites further debate... I personally don't think that "talent" is a thing. Or at the very least shouldn't be the "end all be all" to someone trying their hand at arts.

                  If you LOVE art and are passionate about it, good news: you CAN make art!!!

                  Practicing is great but don't live by someone's arbitrary idea of what constitutes "grace" and "great art"

                  lovebytes@kinkycats.orgL This user is from outside of this forum
                  lovebytes@kinkycats.orgL This user is from outside of this forum
                  lovebytes@kinkycats.org
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #10

                  @harmonycorrupted The world has conditioned people to value output. Not the process

                  Sure the final result can matter, but the journey to get there is where the magic happens

                  And it feels like the world of AI generated images that's incredibly apparent

                  Slop output is pushed by people who don't value the process and to those people garbage output is better than learning the actual creative skills

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • harmonycorrupted@kinkycats.orgH harmonycorrupted@kinkycats.org

                    When your friend/loved one tries something new, PLEASE encourage them and don't shit on them just because they're not instantly a whiz at it...

                    Don't get competitive. Don't get jealous. Don't "test" them. Under NO circumstances pass judgement unprompted and without being constructive.

                    All these behaviors might seem funny in the moment but they are deeply damaging.

                    Sounds so obvious yet most people I've met have sucked at it

                    fandasin@social.linux.pizzaF This user is from outside of this forum
                    fandasin@social.linux.pizzaF This user is from outside of this forum
                    fandasin@social.linux.pizza
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #11

                    @harmonycorrupted

                    Seen somewhere:
                    "If we stopped trying after first few failures, we would never learn to walk."

                    I've started to learn to play guitar around my 30.
                    It took me about 5 years to get to level I am comfortable to play around my friends.
                    But even learning (and I'm far from perfect at playing it) made me so happy, that the process of learning is enough to keep me going and improving.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • stevewfolds@mastodon.worldS stevewfolds@mastodon.world

                      @harmonycorrupted @nyovaya
                      Practice is often mistaken for talent.

                      fandasin@social.linux.pizzaF This user is from outside of this forum
                      fandasin@social.linux.pizzaF This user is from outside of this forum
                      fandasin@social.linux.pizza
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #12

                      @stevewfolds

                      I would say, there's no "talent" alone.
                      You have to practice in any case and if you want to be really good, you'll have to practice really hard.

                      @harmonycorrupted @nyovaya

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • jwcph@helvede.netJ jwcph@helvede.net shared this topic
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