This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
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@alice@lgbtqia.space omg I want to try the multiplayer mode!

@loon this is the weirdest third party Wiimote I've ever seen.
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@alice I like how it can also bless the rains down in Africa
@adriano but it does drain the battery faster.
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This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
@alice You gotta wipe your hands across them all, piano style.
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@kokurya Vegas?
@alice
I don't know what you call your lucky point
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This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
@alice Nothing like inserting my boobs in the bowl and giving them a spritz! v. refreshing
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This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
@alice@lgbtqia.space Reminds me of the bidet controls in Japan. IIRC there was a button for when you need to clean your #1 hole and another for the #2 hole.
EDIT: oh, the image shows that the brand is Toto, so I think it is the same as the ones in Japan -
This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
@alice Good thing you packed your trusty label-maker?
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This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
@alice Despite my conspicuous lack of boobs, I wouldn't mind trying the boob wash! Sounds like fun.

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@alice You gotta wipe your hands across them all, piano style.
@lukeharby walking out of the bathroom like:
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@alice Nothing like inserting my boobs in the bowl and giving them a spritz! v. refreshing
@aura right?
Sometimes you get sweaty in a bra.
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@alice Despite my conspicuous lack of boobs, I wouldn't mind trying the boob wash! Sounds like fun.

@ApostateEnglishman @alice For disambiguation, I question if perhaps that's an ass wash. A clear button for dudes who don't wash their ass, they added a button, even.
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@ApostateEnglishman @alice For disambiguation, I question if perhaps that's an ass wash. A clear button for dudes who don't wash their ass, they added a button, even.
@ApostateEnglishman @alice Okay, I guess there's technically a 'bidet' looking option....
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@lukeharby walking out of the bathroom like:
@alice At best.
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@aura right?
Sometimes you get sweaty in a bra.
@alice tell me about it. It's a hot summer and I've discovered that boob sweat really is a thing now.
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This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
every time i've been to japan, i come back very disappointed at US toilets.
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What exactly does the Hamburger Menu do?
@alexadeswift @alice As a serious answer, it’s the blow dryer.
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@alice At best.
@lukeharby yeah, it would need a "take 20 years off" to make me look like that.
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This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
@alice some of these toilets actually have volume controls and a selector for the OST. I like the nature sounds OST, it's very calming
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every time i've been to japan, i come back very disappointed at US toilets.
@paul_ipv6 @alice funny story. I got to travel to Japan in the late 1980s with my dad. He was doing something with Matsushita, and I was sort of on my own.
We had a bidet in our hotel room. But as a kid from Texas I didn’t even know the word bidet. And all the buttons (and there were many many buttons) were labeled only in Kanji. No iconography.
Discovery was a string (stream?) of surprises!
Also I will never understand Americans aversion to washing their privates.
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@alice some of these toilets actually have volume controls and a selector for the OST. I like the nature sounds OST, it's very calming
@nina_kali_nina my rice cooker plays "Mary Had a Little Lamb", when it's done, and now I want a bidet that plays "Surfin' USA".