This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
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@alice Despite my conspicuous lack of boobs, I wouldn't mind trying the boob wash! Sounds like fun.

@ApostateEnglishman @alice For disambiguation, I question if perhaps that's an ass wash. A clear button for dudes who don't wash their ass, they added a button, even.
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@ApostateEnglishman @alice For disambiguation, I question if perhaps that's an ass wash. A clear button for dudes who don't wash their ass, they added a button, even.
@ApostateEnglishman @alice Okay, I guess there's technically a 'bidet' looking option....
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@lukeharby walking out of the bathroom like:
@alice At best.
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@aura right?
Sometimes you get sweaty in a bra.
@alice tell me about it. It's a hot summer and I've discovered that boob sweat really is a thing now.
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This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
every time i've been to japan, i come back very disappointed at US toilets.
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What exactly does the Hamburger Menu do?
@alexadeswift @alice As a serious answer, it’s the blow dryer.
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@alice At best.
@lukeharby yeah, it would need a "take 20 years off" to make me look like that.
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This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
@alice some of these toilets actually have volume controls and a selector for the OST. I like the nature sounds OST, it's very calming
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every time i've been to japan, i come back very disappointed at US toilets.
@paul_ipv6 @alice funny story. I got to travel to Japan in the late 1980s with my dad. He was doing something with Matsushita, and I was sort of on my own.
We had a bidet in our hotel room. But as a kid from Texas I didn’t even know the word bidet. And all the buttons (and there were many many buttons) were labeled only in Kanji. No iconography.
Discovery was a string (stream?) of surprises!
Also I will never understand Americans aversion to washing their privates.
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@alice some of these toilets actually have volume controls and a selector for the OST. I like the nature sounds OST, it's very calming
@nina_kali_nina my rice cooker plays "Mary Had a Little Lamb", when it's done, and now I want a bidet that plays "Surfin' USA".
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@lukeharby yeah, it would need a "take 20 years off" to make me look like that.
@alice Oh no, I meant all the detritus from the toilet! Oh heck!
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This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
@alice boob wash is the best
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This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
@alice You wouldn't happen to be in Japan by chance?
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@nina_kali_nina my rice cooker plays "Mary Had a Little Lamb", when it's done, and now I want a bidet that plays "Surfin' USA".
@alice do you have access to the control panel? If yes, you're in luck, there should be an SD card slot and it can load mp3s from there: https://qa.toto.jp/togo/qa/qadoc/016/Q0965_20180312_113617_A001.pdf
(Assuming this model supports playing audio)
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@alice Oh no, I meant all the detritus from the toilet! Oh heck!
@lukeharby oh, bidets use a fresh water spout, so they're not blowing used toilet water at you—that would be just begging for a UTI

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@alice @alexadeswift That’s the neat part! You don’t have to! Gale-force winds blow up from the bowl.
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@alice You wouldn't happen to be in Japan by chance?
@grumpydad nope, rural Washington.
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@paul_ipv6 @alice funny story. I got to travel to Japan in the late 1980s with my dad. He was doing something with Matsushita, and I was sort of on my own.
We had a bidet in our hotel room. But as a kid from Texas I didn’t even know the word bidet. And all the buttons (and there were many many buttons) were labeled only in Kanji. No iconography.
Discovery was a string (stream?) of surprises!
Also I will never understand Americans aversion to washing their privates.
@petrillic @paul_ipv6 @alice Just got back from a two week vacation in Japan (Tokyo and Osaka, mostly). Bidets are great. The problem with Japanese toilets is they're heated. Great in winter, awful in the Summer. If there's a way to turn that off, I never found it.
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@grumpydad nope, rural Washington.
@alice Well, colour me surprised! That's just what I expect to find in Japan.