I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.
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@bytebro oh my god you missed the point 10000%
OK, sorry. It's a special talent of mine.
My only possible excuse is that as an ASD person I tend to take things a bit literally.Obvs, no irritation or offense intended.
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@vkc ohhh yes I wasnt even thinking about that. I always think of this as "dark matter harassment" since it's not always visible to bystanders. I definitely think that's got to be one of the worst uniquely bad things about here
@McNeely it's super disorienting once you get to a certain threshold of followers and your notifications don't match anyone else's experience in the slightest.
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@vkc I do not consent to your harassers being gatekeepers of who belongs here. You belong here. You make this place better.
@vkc wow, posting that got me followed by someone from a "skinhead" instance. That's an immediate instance block from me.
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@vkc wow, posting that got me followed by someone from a "skinhead" instance. That's an immediate instance block from me.
@HunterZ make sure to share it with your mods
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I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.
It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.
I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.
Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.
@vkc Really sorry to hear that. My experience here is great, and you make it better. Don't know what to say.
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I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.
It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.
I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.
Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.
@vkc Very sorry you have to put up with all this, and thank you for speaking up about it.
Truly, truly disappointed in the community here, and the lack of tools for people to defend themselves.
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When people say "Veronica loves the Fediverse", they remove my agency from this place. I'm a character. They're the narrator. I don't like that.
I think for a lot of folks, Fedi is sweet. It's quiet. It's slow. But for many, many, many of us, it's this slow-rolling insanity machine where you see the WORST THINGS and nobody else does.
And to be frank and clear, I'm just talking about things from my white US perspective. I don't even get the worst of it, and I recognize that.
@vkc I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. This is reprehensible and is something I would expect on corporate-owned social media and not on fedi.
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I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.
It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.
I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.
Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.
@vkc thank you for all your clarifying and urgent work communicating about these awful circumstances. I really appreciate your candor, especially bc I know it comes at a great personal toll. I normally avoid commenting on your posts bc I don't want to be mistaken for a pompous asshole but I really want to express my bottomless gratitude for you and your work today (acknowledging that good vibes aren't solutions--theyre just what I can give right now). Thank you for everything.
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I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.
It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.
I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.
Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.
@vkc wishing you a better experience than this
️ i think we have to make space for ourselves and our own way to do things to avoid getting swallowed by the defaults -
I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.
It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.
I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.
Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.
@vkc @afewbugs That sucks so badly. It's why I never tried to build any kind of following while I worked in tech - whereas I feel safer speaking as a teacher. It's just too dangerous being a very visible woman in tech.
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I'm sure there are other industries with equally misogynistic people, but tech seems particularly bad. -
What I've shared today is just *annoying*. It isn't the level of malevolence that I've seen.
I've had stuff sent my way that I have nightmares about. I won't share that crap. But annoying stuff? I'm not holding that back anymore- you-all are getting called out.
@vkc i've had a couple of posts blow up to genuinely large levels and have seen what you mean with the vile stuff. Makes me wonder if social media is a good idea at all.
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What I've shared today is just *annoying*. It isn't the level of malevolence that I've seen.
I've had stuff sent my way that I have nightmares about. I won't share that crap. But annoying stuff? I'm not holding that back anymore- you-all are getting called out.
@vkc How would you feel about sharing the really bad stuff too but with clear content warnings?
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@vkc How would you feel about sharing the really bad stuff too but with clear content warnings?
@sashin I get things that are illegal if I retransmit them
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@sashin I get things that are illegal if I retransmit them
@vkc I'm sorry you have to go through that.
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What I've shared today is just *annoying*. It isn't the level of malevolence that I've seen.
I've had stuff sent my way that I have nightmares about. I won't share that crap. But annoying stuff? I'm not holding that back anymore- you-all are getting called out.
@vkc hey, thank you for posting here, I rediscovered your channel because of your Mastodon posts.
For me the moderation is a big reason to be on a managed instance
Question I had but reading your other comments suggests the answer ;D :
One thing I wondered, did your mastodon experience change when you moved from a moderated instance to your own? -
@McNeely I think it's unique to decentralization. If your instance blocked a baddie before they post in my replies, you don't see it and I do. In centralized social media, a mass of reports is enough to ban an account and get their posts mass-deleted. That just can't happen here.
@vkc @McNeely 100% accurate. I run a micro-instance that's likely to upset people and attract bother, and I have to set aside time to expose myself to some genuinely grotesque and upsetting stuff in order to keep on top of the servers I need to block, and we get far fewer eyeballs and interaction on us than Victoria.
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What I've shared today is just *annoying*. It isn't the level of malevolence that I've seen.
I've had stuff sent my way that I have nightmares about. I won't share that crap. But annoying stuff? I'm not holding that back anymore- you-all are getting called out.
@vkc sorry about all that crap. Some people are using their anonymity to reveal their real nature that can be awful. And because they may read you every day, they think they know you intimately so they suppose they're allowed to tell you anything they want. That's difficult to ignore these haters when you're their target. I hope you'll be able to get over it.
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I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.
It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.
I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.
Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.
@vkc I'm sorry about how Fedi is treating you. I sometimes forget that my own Fedi bubble is benign not because Fedi as a whole is benign, but because I put in the effort to aggressively block any content I don't like, *and* I don't have a visible enough presence that would encourage the undesirables to circumvent my block list.
Social media can be garbage, and if you do need a break I will be sad because I enjoy your content, but please do put your own mental health first if you need to.
Best wishes...
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I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.
It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.
I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.
Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.
@vkc Thanks for speaking openly about this, Veronica. I cannot fully understand your situation, but I can relate to being harassed in an invisible way and I wouldn't wish that on anyone else. I wouldn't want to see you leave Fedi, but I also wouldn't blame you if you did.
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When people say "Veronica loves the Fediverse", they remove my agency from this place. I'm a character. They're the narrator. I don't like that.
I think for a lot of folks, Fedi is sweet. It's quiet. It's slow. But for many, many, many of us, it's this slow-rolling insanity machine where you see the WORST THINGS and nobody else does.
And to be frank and clear, I'm just talking about things from my white US perspective. I don't even get the worst of it, and I recognize that.
You are surely frank and clear.
You sharing stuff like this is really valuable to me as a white, cisgendered, heterosexual, male, with a low volume account. My privileges stack in such a way that I see none of the bad actor interactions you do.
Thank you for sharing what those who aren't even the worst of us in the Fediverse are doing so we all can know at least that much.
