Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining.
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RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/110906329010147244
Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining. What is it with the culture here? Why do all of these guys think it's so important to share their deep insights in my mentions when they can just post on their own feed? FFS.
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RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/110906329010147244
Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining. What is it with the culture here? Why do all of these guys think it's so important to share their deep insights in my mentions when they can just post on their own feed? FFS.
@emilymbender I've noticed some misplaced smugness here. Jackassery.
I hope you know how many of us appreciate your insights.
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RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/110906329010147244
Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining. What is it with the culture here? Why do all of these guys think it's so important to share their deep insights in my mentions when they can just post on their own feed? FFS.
@emilymbender mastodon is the island of misfit boys
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RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/110906329010147244
Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining. What is it with the culture here? Why do all of these guys think it's so important to share their deep insights in my mentions when they can just post on their own feed? FFS.
@emilymbender
We really need a way to limit responses against this harassment. -
RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/110906329010147244
Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining. What is it with the culture here? Why do all of these guys think it's so important to share their deep insights in my mentions when they can just post on their own feed? FFS.
Speaking as someone who would like to help, it seems Mastodon has a hole here. I believe it was @mekkaokereke who pointed out that shitty people say shitty (racist) things in his replies, but people like me never see them because these trolls tag their replies as 'Only for my followers.'
Many people would happily counter this sort of thing, but we never see it.
Suggestions?
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RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/110906329010147244
Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining. What is it with the culture here? Why do all of these guys think it's so important to share their deep insights in my mentions when they can just post on their own feed? FFS.
@emilymbender Did the title help?
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RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/110906329010147244
Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining. What is it with the culture here? Why do all of these guys think it's so important to share their deep insights in my mentions when they can just post on their own feed? FFS.
@emilymbender this isn’t to contradict or downplay anything you’re saying because it is obviously a real problem with the general culture here and type of person so overrepresented on the network. But I also wonder if that experience could partly be a structural consequence of the platform not having the ability to quote other users’ posts for such a long time. So a lot of people still seem to use replies to say what they want to add to something rather than quoting the original post (which might be more appropriate for the way they want to interact with it) and as a result their statements are way more directed at the person they’re replying to than they might intend or realize.
Anyway, that is speculation, doesn’t excuse it, and I’m very sorry you have such an unpleasant time here. You do great work and I appreciate that I can follow it here since I’m not on the other platforms.
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@emilymbender this isn’t to contradict or downplay anything you’re saying because it is obviously a real problem with the general culture here and type of person so overrepresented on the network. But I also wonder if that experience could partly be a structural consequence of the platform not having the ability to quote other users’ posts for such a long time. So a lot of people still seem to use replies to say what they want to add to something rather than quoting the original post (which might be more appropriate for the way they want to interact with it) and as a result their statements are way more directed at the person they’re replying to than they might intend or realize.
Anyway, that is speculation, doesn’t excuse it, and I’m very sorry you have such an unpleasant time here. You do great work and I appreciate that I can follow it here since I’m not on the other platforms.
i think that this norm is potentially part of the explanation, but by no means all. when i've (more and less rudely, if i'm being honest) pointed this out to people doing mansplainy replies, they generally ignore the commentary and double down on expressing their belief that the behavior of replying however they want is appropriate and is "what social media is for". my being polite and patient does not result in a higher rate of self-reflection
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RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/110906329010147244
Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining. What is it with the culture here? Why do all of these guys think it's so important to share their deep insights in my mentions when they can just post on their own feed? FFS.
@emilymbender If you're being rhetorical, ignore the rest of this toot. If not, is it specific to Mastodon?
My lady friends report being subject to it everywhere, and I have been caught mansplaining in person even though I try my best not to do that as a general rule, so it's maybe enough to have the dangly bits? IDK.
Plus I'd bet none of them has 29k followers.
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i think that this norm is potentially part of the explanation, but by no means all. when i've (more and less rudely, if i'm being honest) pointed this out to people doing mansplainy replies, they generally ignore the commentary and double down on expressing their belief that the behavior of replying however they want is appropriate and is "what social media is for". my being polite and patient does not result in a higher rate of self-reflection
@inquiline for sure. I’ve definitely observed those disappointingly defensive responses to both the more and the less rude versions of calling it out (probably sometimes by you). My explanation at best accounts for a small part of the problem compared to the culture and types of guys who congregate here. And maybe it’s wrong of me still to look for a reason to give any of them the benefit of the doubt when it’s such a problem. I definitely sympathize when people opt for the rude callout. It seems really frustrating to have a big account here receiving a lot of mansplain-y replies.
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@emilymbender Did the title help?
@sashin Not enough.
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@emilymbender If you're being rhetorical, ignore the rest of this toot. If not, is it specific to Mastodon?
My lady friends report being subject to it everywhere, and I have been caught mansplaining in person even though I try my best not to do that as a general rule, so it's maybe enough to have the dangly bits? IDK.
Plus I'd bet none of them has 29k followers.
@vonxylofon She's mentioned a few times that it's worse here than on other networks, and I've seen a few others with similarity prominent accounts say the same. I think there genuinely is more of it here. I can speculate about what the causes might be, but I'm not sure that would be helpful in this thread.
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Speaking as someone who would like to help, it seems Mastodon has a hole here. I believe it was @mekkaokereke who pointed out that shitty people say shitty (racist) things in his replies, but people like me never see them because these trolls tag their replies as 'Only for my followers.'
Many people would happily counter this sort of thing, but we never see it.
Suggestions?
@elasticsoul Oh I've definitely been in threads where a conversation is happening and I can't see the other side. I wonder if that is why it was happening.
I also hadn't even considered the harassment using it. It does make me sad people have to deal with it all the time though and a mute or block just doesn't cut it.
For your suggestion, maybe a way to force all replies to a parent to be public only or auto block followers only in addition to DM.
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@emilymbender If you're being rhetorical, ignore the rest of this toot. If not, is it specific to Mastodon?
My lady friends report being subject to it everywhere, and I have been caught mansplaining in person even though I try my best not to do that as a general rule, so it's maybe enough to have the dangly bits? IDK.
Plus I'd bet none of them has 29k followers.
@vonxylofon Yes, it is particularly bad on Mastodon. I post frequently on LinkedIn and bsky too and (up until Nov 2024) posted frequently on Xitter. Mastodon is the worst in this regard.
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RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/110906329010147244
Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining. What is it with the culture here? Why do all of these guys think it's so important to share their deep insights in my mentions when they can just post on their own feed? FFS.
I didn't see the exact posts you were referring to but so I may be wrong, but generally the idea of posting in response to someone is to produce a conversation, which many consider to be the goal of social medias.
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RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/110906329010147244
Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining. What is it with the culture here? Why do all of these guys think it's so important to share their deep insights in my mentions when they can just post on their own feed? FFS.
I’m very sorry that you had to have such bad experiences here. The fediverse is very diverse and obviously there are also many people who have the sensitivity of a steam hammer. .
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I didn't see the exact posts you were referring to but so I may be wrong, but generally the idea of posting in response to someone is to produce a conversation, which many consider to be the goal of social medias.
@lienrag and yet the posts are not actually constructive contributions but often explaining things back to me as if I haven't been writing about them for years.
But do go on: how does mansplaining work again?
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RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/110906329010147244
Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining. What is it with the culture here? Why do all of these guys think it's so important to share their deep insights in my mentions when they can just post on their own feed? FFS.
@emilymbender we really need more controls here, for example over who can reply to posts. I'm sorry this is happening to you.
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RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/110906329010147244
Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining. What is it with the culture here? Why do all of these guys think it's so important to share their deep insights in my mentions when they can just post on their own feed? FFS.
@emilymbender lots of well-meaning idiots or just smug assholes and everyone thinks they have the correct opinion on everything that everyone must know and lack self-awareness. i think this is just how tech people are in general and mastodon's full of them (god i hope i'm not being a well-meaning idiot who thinks all their opinions are correct and lacks self-awareness right now)
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RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/110906329010147244
Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining. What is it with the culture here? Why do all of these guys think it's so important to share their deep insights in my mentions when they can just post on their own feed? FFS.
@emilymbender I love your threads and hope I have not replied to one until now.
