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  3. Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining.

Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining.

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  • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

    RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/110906329010147244

    Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining. What is it with the culture here? Why do all of these guys think it's so important to share their deep insights in my mentions when they can just post on their own feed? FFS.

    guyjantic@infosec.exchangeG This user is from outside of this forum
    guyjantic@infosec.exchangeG This user is from outside of this forum
    guyjantic@infosec.exchange
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #38

    @emilymbender dammit, i missed a chance to mansain? I'm always too late. If you have future needs for mansplaining about (very) basic stats, Mormon doctrine x culture, or Joe versus the Volacno, you know where to find me. (Other topics are pretty sketchy; I could probably only manhypothesize or, in some cases, manspeculate).

    1 Reply Last reply
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    • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

      RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/110906329010147244

      Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining. What is it with the culture here? Why do all of these guys think it's so important to share their deep insights in my mentions when they can just post on their own feed? FFS.

      kepeken@mastodon.gamedev.placeK This user is from outside of this forum
      kepeken@mastodon.gamedev.placeK This user is from outside of this forum
      kepeken@mastodon.gamedev.place
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #39

      @emilymbender would this be the wrong time to answer? 😉 🐈

      vandenberglegs@mastodon.socialV 1 Reply Last reply
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      • M mishandlingboners@social.vivaldi.net

        @Hypocritus @emilymbender

        is this like a play on words with your handle?

        hypocritus@mastodon.socialH This user is from outside of this forum
        hypocritus@mastodon.socialH This user is from outside of this forum
        hypocritus@mastodon.social
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #40

        @mishandlingboners @emilymbender If you're referring to Feather Duster, it's a saying referring to fleeting popularity.

        Of you're referring to Hypocritus, it's someone Socrates interogates.

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • troy_frizzell@mstdn.socialT troy_frizzell@mstdn.social

          @emilymbender

          A man's inner nerd is hard to tame.

          Apologies on behalf of my gender.

          emilymbender@dair-community.socialE This user is from outside of this forum
          emilymbender@dair-community.socialE This user is from outside of this forum
          emilymbender@dair-community.social
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #41

          @troy_frizzell This isn't about being a nerd. I know plenty of nerds who are also respectful.

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

            RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/110906329010147244

            Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining. What is it with the culture here? Why do all of these guys think it's so important to share their deep insights in my mentions when they can just post on their own feed? FFS.

            patricksh@mas.toP This user is from outside of this forum
            patricksh@mas.toP This user is from outside of this forum
            patricksh@mas.to
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #42

            @emilymbender probably due to lots of reddit users and misfits desperate for interaction. Responses can feel very similar to those on reddit where people tend to be contrarians for the sake of being contrarian. Some kind of troll like carryover…almost built in to some people’s online persona at this point. Ive had so many people on reddit act this way to my posts/comments in the past. Thankfully its made me pretty immune to the pointless venture of retorting over nothing with most users.

            1 Reply Last reply
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            • jesuisatire@social.tchncs.deJ jesuisatire@social.tchncs.de

              @emilymbender

              Sry, but why has mastodon and it's community to be as you wish it to see?

              If LinkedIn and blsky suits you and your needs, isn't that enough?

              Actually this is the fedi, so you most likely have work arounds, like posting from a wordpress instance via activityPub addon disabling comments for example.

              And no, mastodon doesn't have to be a "eierlegende Wollmilchsau", that's why we are a decentralized network with an underlying communication protocol.

              vonxylofon@witter.czV This user is from outside of this forum
              vonxylofon@witter.czV This user is from outside of this forum
              vonxylofon@witter.cz
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #43

              @jesuisatire @emilymbender Thanks for illustrating Emily's point.

              jesuisatire@social.tchncs.deJ 1 Reply Last reply
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              • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

                @vonxylofon Yes, it is particularly bad on Mastodon. I post frequently on LinkedIn and bsky too and (up until Nov 2024) posted frequently on Xitter. Mastodon is the worst in this regard.

                vonxylofon@witter.czV This user is from outside of this forum
                vonxylofon@witter.czV This user is from outside of this forum
                vonxylofon@witter.cz
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #44

                @emilymbender That truly sucks.

                I haven't seen that very much, but I'm on a tiny anarchist server and most of my follows are on beige.party and fringe servers like that, so it's easy not to see the mainstream discourse.

                I wish I knew what to do, but instance-level moderation (basically the only tool available AFAIK) can do only so much with the reach you have.

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

                  RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/110906329010147244

                  Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining. What is it with the culture here? Why do all of these guys think it's so important to share their deep insights in my mentions when they can just post on their own feed? FFS.

                  pmjv@snac.lab8.czP This user is from outside of this forum
                  pmjv@snac.lab8.czP This user is from outside of this forum
                  pmjv@snac.lab8.cz
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #45
                  I'm so sorry this happened to you. That's awful. 😞

                  CC: @emilymbender@dair-community.social
                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • vonxylofon@witter.czV vonxylofon@witter.cz

                    @jesuisatire @emilymbender Thanks for illustrating Emily's point.

                    jesuisatire@social.tchncs.deJ This user is from outside of this forum
                    jesuisatire@social.tchncs.deJ This user is from outside of this forum
                    jesuisatire@social.tchncs.de
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #46

                    @vonxylofon
                    your welcome!

                    @emilymbender

                    econads@mendeddrum.orgE 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

                      RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/110906329010147244

                      Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining. What is it with the culture here? Why do all of these guys think it's so important to share their deep insights in my mentions when they can just post on their own feed? FFS.

                      tofticles@helvede.netT This user is from outside of this forum
                      tofticles@helvede.netT This user is from outside of this forum
                      tofticles@helvede.net
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #47

                      @emilymbender Would it help anything if we snark at them - ie. "Your 'splainer is showing.."-type replies - or would that just make it worse since you still get the notifications etc.?

                      oblomov@sociale.networkO 1 Reply Last reply
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                      • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

                        @vonxylofon Yes, it is particularly bad on Mastodon. I post frequently on LinkedIn and bsky too and (up until Nov 2024) posted frequently on Xitter. Mastodon is the worst in this regard.

                        em0nm4stodon@infosec.exchangeE This user is from outside of this forum
                        em0nm4stodon@infosec.exchangeE This user is from outside of this forum
                        em0nm4stodon@infosec.exchange
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #48

                        @emilymbender @vonxylofon I experience this a lot on Mastodon as well. It is incredibly annoying (to say the least), and I'm very sorry you experience this too, Emily 😔

                        I'm really looking forward to a potential future feature where I could limit replies to my public posts to my followers only. Each time I have a mansplainer in my replies, it's never one of my followers or someone I follow (my followers are great!).

                        I hope this could help you too. I value the insights and expertise you share immensely. It would be a real tragedy to lose your contribution to Mastodon Emily. In solidarity 💚

                        codinghorror@infosec.exchangeC oblomov@sociale.networkO 2 Replies Last reply
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                        • kepeken@mastodon.gamedev.placeK kepeken@mastodon.gamedev.place

                          @emilymbender would this be the wrong time to answer? 😉 🐈

                          vandenberglegs@mastodon.socialV This user is from outside of this forum
                          vandenberglegs@mastodon.socialV This user is from outside of this forum
                          vandenberglegs@mastodon.social
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #49

                          @kepeken @emilymbender yeah, I'm not falling for this.

                          1 Reply Last reply
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                          • elasticsoul@mastodon.socialE elasticsoul@mastodon.social

                            @emilymbender

                            Speaking as someone who would like to help, it seems Mastodon has a hole here. I believe it was @mekkaokereke who pointed out that shitty people say shitty (racist) things in his replies, but people like me never see them because these trolls tag their replies as 'Only for my followers.'

                            Many people would happily counter this sort of thing, but we never see it.

                            Suggestions?

                            @Gargron

                            angelacarstensen@norden.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                            angelacarstensen@norden.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                            angelacarstensen@norden.social
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #50

                            @elasticsoul @emilymbender @mekkaokereke @Gargron

                            Until just now I have never thought about anyone using this feature for that 😕 Thank you for bringing it up.

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

                              RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/110906329010147244

                              Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining. What is it with the culture here? Why do all of these guys think it's so important to share their deep insights in my mentions when they can just post on their own feed? FFS.

                              simonzerafa@infosec.exchangeS This user is from outside of this forum
                              simonzerafa@infosec.exchangeS This user is from outside of this forum
                              simonzerafa@infosec.exchange
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #51

                              @emilymbender

                              If you see that behaviour coming from anyone on infosec.exchange please let us know.

                              More than happy to mansplain the rules or enforce them if needed.

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • em0nm4stodon@infosec.exchangeE em0nm4stodon@infosec.exchange

                                @emilymbender @vonxylofon I experience this a lot on Mastodon as well. It is incredibly annoying (to say the least), and I'm very sorry you experience this too, Emily 😔

                                I'm really looking forward to a potential future feature where I could limit replies to my public posts to my followers only. Each time I have a mansplainer in my replies, it's never one of my followers or someone I follow (my followers are great!).

                                I hope this could help you too. I value the insights and expertise you share immensely. It would be a real tragedy to lose your contribution to Mastodon Emily. In solidarity 💚

                                codinghorror@infosec.exchangeC This user is from outside of this forum
                                codinghorror@infosec.exchangeC This user is from outside of this forum
                                codinghorror@infosec.exchange
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #52

                                @Em0nM4stodon yeah @mellifluousbox @renchap why can't people limit replies to followers-only on Mastodon? That's a really useful option!

                                zdl@mstdn.socialZ 1 Reply Last reply
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                                • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

                                  RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/110906329010147244

                                  Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining. What is it with the culture here? Why do all of these guys think it's so important to share their deep insights in my mentions when they can just post on their own feed? FFS.

                                  zdl@mstdn.socialZ This user is from outside of this forum
                                  zdl@mstdn.socialZ This user is from outside of this forum
                                  zdl@mstdn.social
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #53

                                  @emilymbender There are a lot of technically-inclined people on Mastodon. A very large proportion of technically-inclined men are horrifically misogynistic (not even necessarily consciously so, just have a default stance of "women don't know X").

                                  For me the proof of that assertion was found in my mute and block files.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • atanasoff@mastodon.socialA atanasoff@mastodon.social

                                    @emilymbender well Professor, I would go and make a wild assumption that the reply button invites other user's to talk about the topic of your post.

                                    zdl@mstdn.socialZ This user is from outside of this forum
                                    zdl@mstdn.socialZ This user is from outside of this forum
                                    zdl@mstdn.social
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #54

                                    @atanasoff @emilymbender There is an ENORMOUS difference between "talk about the topic of your post" and "explain to an expert their area of expertise because she has a vagina".

                                    But you knew that already and are just being a twat for the sake of being a twat, right?

                                    atanasoff@mastodon.socialA 1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • lienrag@mastodon.tedomum.netL lienrag@mastodon.tedomum.net

                                      @emilymbender

                                      I didn't see the exact posts you were referring to but so I may be wrong, but generally the idea of posting in response to someone is to produce a conversation, which many consider to be the goal of social medias.

                                      zdl@mstdn.socialZ This user is from outside of this forum
                                      zdl@mstdn.socialZ This user is from outside of this forum
                                      zdl@mstdn.social
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #55

                                      @lienrag @emilymbender Prof. Bender was being polite.

                                      I'm not going to be.

                                      Head off and learn what words fucking **MEAN*** before you use them or respond to them.

                                      "Mansplaining" is not "men explaining". It's a very specific word with a very specific meaning.

                                      I'm doing you the credit of assuming you don't already know that, though I'm pretty sure you do and are just being an asshole.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • tofticles@helvede.netT tofticles@helvede.net

                                        @emilymbender Would it help anything if we snark at them - ie. "Your 'splainer is showing.."-type replies - or would that just make it worse since you still get the notifications etc.?

                                        oblomov@sociale.networkO This user is from outside of this forum
                                        oblomov@sociale.networkO This user is from outside of this forum
                                        oblomov@sociale.network
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #56

                                        @tofticles you could probably avoid @emilymbender getting the notifications for your snarks if you remove her from the mentions, though I have my doubts it'd help any in making the mansplainers reconsider their action

                                        1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • codinghorror@infosec.exchangeC codinghorror@infosec.exchange

                                          @Em0nM4stodon yeah @mellifluousbox @renchap why can't people limit replies to followers-only on Mastodon? That's a really useful option!

                                          zdl@mstdn.socialZ This user is from outside of this forum
                                          zdl@mstdn.socialZ This user is from outside of this forum
                                          zdl@mstdn.social
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #57

                                          @codinghorror @Em0nM4stodon @mellifluousbox @renchap Because the increasingly-identical-to-every-other-techbrodude-making-social-media Mastodon team either lacks knowledge and thus doesn't understand what marginalized groups have to put up with, or lacks empathy and doesn't care.

                                          Given the number of times this specific feature has been brought up with them (not to mention a plethora of instance management features), I'm going to guess it's the latter.

                                          codinghorror@infosec.exchangeC 1 Reply Last reply
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