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  3. Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining.

Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining.

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  • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

    @vonxylofon Yes, it is particularly bad on Mastodon. I post frequently on LinkedIn and bsky too and (up until Nov 2024) posted frequently on Xitter. Mastodon is the worst in this regard.

    em0nm4stodon@infosec.exchangeE This user is from outside of this forum
    em0nm4stodon@infosec.exchangeE This user is from outside of this forum
    em0nm4stodon@infosec.exchange
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #48

    @emilymbender @vonxylofon I experience this a lot on Mastodon as well. It is incredibly annoying (to say the least), and I'm very sorry you experience this too, Emily 😔

    I'm really looking forward to a potential future feature where I could limit replies to my public posts to my followers only. Each time I have a mansplainer in my replies, it's never one of my followers or someone I follow (my followers are great!).

    I hope this could help you too. I value the insights and expertise you share immensely. It would be a real tragedy to lose your contribution to Mastodon Emily. In solidarity 💚

    codinghorror@infosec.exchangeC oblomov@sociale.networkO 2 Replies Last reply
    0
    • kepeken@mastodon.gamedev.placeK kepeken@mastodon.gamedev.place

      @emilymbender would this be the wrong time to answer? 😉 🐈

      vandenberglegs@mastodon.socialV This user is from outside of this forum
      vandenberglegs@mastodon.socialV This user is from outside of this forum
      vandenberglegs@mastodon.social
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #49

      @kepeken @emilymbender yeah, I'm not falling for this.

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • elasticsoul@mastodon.socialE elasticsoul@mastodon.social

        @emilymbender

        Speaking as someone who would like to help, it seems Mastodon has a hole here. I believe it was @mekkaokereke who pointed out that shitty people say shitty (racist) things in his replies, but people like me never see them because these trolls tag their replies as 'Only for my followers.'

        Many people would happily counter this sort of thing, but we never see it.

        Suggestions?

        @Gargron

        angelacarstensen@norden.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
        angelacarstensen@norden.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
        angelacarstensen@norden.social
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #50

        @elasticsoul @emilymbender @mekkaokereke @Gargron

        Until just now I have never thought about anyone using this feature for that 😕 Thank you for bringing it up.

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

          RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/110906329010147244

          Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining. What is it with the culture here? Why do all of these guys think it's so important to share their deep insights in my mentions when they can just post on their own feed? FFS.

          simonzerafa@infosec.exchangeS This user is from outside of this forum
          simonzerafa@infosec.exchangeS This user is from outside of this forum
          simonzerafa@infosec.exchange
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #51

          @emilymbender

          If you see that behaviour coming from anyone on infosec.exchange please let us know.

          More than happy to mansplain the rules or enforce them if needed.

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • em0nm4stodon@infosec.exchangeE em0nm4stodon@infosec.exchange

            @emilymbender @vonxylofon I experience this a lot on Mastodon as well. It is incredibly annoying (to say the least), and I'm very sorry you experience this too, Emily 😔

            I'm really looking forward to a potential future feature where I could limit replies to my public posts to my followers only. Each time I have a mansplainer in my replies, it's never one of my followers or someone I follow (my followers are great!).

            I hope this could help you too. I value the insights and expertise you share immensely. It would be a real tragedy to lose your contribution to Mastodon Emily. In solidarity 💚

            codinghorror@infosec.exchangeC This user is from outside of this forum
            codinghorror@infosec.exchangeC This user is from outside of this forum
            codinghorror@infosec.exchange
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #52

            @Em0nM4stodon yeah @mellifluousbox @renchap why can't people limit replies to followers-only on Mastodon? That's a really useful option!

            zdl@mstdn.socialZ 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • emilymbender@dair-community.socialE emilymbender@dair-community.social

              RE: https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/110906329010147244

              Every time I decide to post a thread to Mastodon, I'm hit with a new wave of mansplaining. What is it with the culture here? Why do all of these guys think it's so important to share their deep insights in my mentions when they can just post on their own feed? FFS.

              zdl@mstdn.socialZ This user is from outside of this forum
              zdl@mstdn.socialZ This user is from outside of this forum
              zdl@mstdn.social
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #53

              @emilymbender There are a lot of technically-inclined people on Mastodon. A very large proportion of technically-inclined men are horrifically misogynistic (not even necessarily consciously so, just have a default stance of "women don't know X").

              For me the proof of that assertion was found in my mute and block files.

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • atanasoff@mastodon.socialA atanasoff@mastodon.social

                @emilymbender well Professor, I would go and make a wild assumption that the reply button invites other user's to talk about the topic of your post.

                zdl@mstdn.socialZ This user is from outside of this forum
                zdl@mstdn.socialZ This user is from outside of this forum
                zdl@mstdn.social
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #54

                @atanasoff @emilymbender There is an ENORMOUS difference between "talk about the topic of your post" and "explain to an expert their area of expertise because she has a vagina".

                But you knew that already and are just being a twat for the sake of being a twat, right?

                atanasoff@mastodon.socialA 1 Reply Last reply
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                • lienrag@mastodon.tedomum.netL lienrag@mastodon.tedomum.net

                  @emilymbender

                  I didn't see the exact posts you were referring to but so I may be wrong, but generally the idea of posting in response to someone is to produce a conversation, which many consider to be the goal of social medias.

                  zdl@mstdn.socialZ This user is from outside of this forum
                  zdl@mstdn.socialZ This user is from outside of this forum
                  zdl@mstdn.social
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #55

                  @lienrag @emilymbender Prof. Bender was being polite.

                  I'm not going to be.

                  Head off and learn what words fucking **MEAN*** before you use them or respond to them.

                  "Mansplaining" is not "men explaining". It's a very specific word with a very specific meaning.

                  I'm doing you the credit of assuming you don't already know that, though I'm pretty sure you do and are just being an asshole.

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • tofticles@helvede.netT tofticles@helvede.net

                    @emilymbender Would it help anything if we snark at them - ie. "Your 'splainer is showing.."-type replies - or would that just make it worse since you still get the notifications etc.?

                    oblomov@sociale.networkO This user is from outside of this forum
                    oblomov@sociale.networkO This user is from outside of this forum
                    oblomov@sociale.network
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #56

                    @tofticles you could probably avoid @emilymbender getting the notifications for your snarks if you remove her from the mentions, though I have my doubts it'd help any in making the mansplainers reconsider their action

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • codinghorror@infosec.exchangeC codinghorror@infosec.exchange

                      @Em0nM4stodon yeah @mellifluousbox @renchap why can't people limit replies to followers-only on Mastodon? That's a really useful option!

                      zdl@mstdn.socialZ This user is from outside of this forum
                      zdl@mstdn.socialZ This user is from outside of this forum
                      zdl@mstdn.social
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #57

                      @codinghorror @Em0nM4stodon @mellifluousbox @renchap Because the increasingly-identical-to-every-other-techbrodude-making-social-media Mastodon team either lacks knowledge and thus doesn't understand what marginalized groups have to put up with, or lacks empathy and doesn't care.

                      Given the number of times this specific feature has been brought up with them (not to mention a plethora of instance management features), I'm going to guess it's the latter.

                      codinghorror@infosec.exchangeC 1 Reply Last reply
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                      • inquiline@assemblag.esI inquiline@assemblag.es

                        @RainbowStardiver

                        i think that this norm is potentially part of the explanation, but by no means all. when i've (more and less rudely, if i'm being honest) pointed this out to people doing mansplainy replies, they generally ignore the commentary and double down on expressing their belief that the behavior of replying however they want is appropriate and is "what social media is for". my being polite and patient does not result in a higher rate of self-reflection

                        zdl@mstdn.socialZ This user is from outside of this forum
                        zdl@mstdn.socialZ This user is from outside of this forum
                        zdl@mstdn.social
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #58

                        @inquiline @RainbowStardiver Yep. There's no technical problem that's making mansplainers mansplain. Mansplainers mansplained on Xhitter loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong before it became the Nazi bar, and they had post quoting. Mansplainers mansplain here even now that they have the post quote facility. And, as you so nicely pointed out, telling them they're mansplaining doesn't get them to stop, so ... there is no technical solution for this bad-faith elocution (with apologies to Sting).

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • jesuisatire@social.tchncs.deJ jesuisatire@social.tchncs.de

                          @emilymbender

                          Sry, but why has mastodon and it's community to be as you wish it to see?

                          If LinkedIn and blsky suits you and your needs, isn't that enough?

                          Actually this is the fedi, so you most likely have work arounds, like posting from a wordpress instance via activityPub addon disabling comments for example.

                          And no, mastodon doesn't have to be a "eierlegende Wollmilchsau", that's why we are a decentralized network with an underlying communication protocol.

                          mackaj@mastodon.me.ukM This user is from outside of this forum
                          mackaj@mastodon.me.ukM This user is from outside of this forum
                          mackaj@mastodon.me.uk
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #59

                          @jesuisatire @emilymbender

                          Congratulations, you just proved her point 🙄

                          jesuisatire@social.tchncs.deJ 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • mackaj@mastodon.me.ukM mackaj@mastodon.me.uk

                            @jesuisatire @emilymbender

                            Congratulations, you just proved her point 🙄

                            jesuisatire@social.tchncs.deJ This user is from outside of this forum
                            jesuisatire@social.tchncs.deJ This user is from outside of this forum
                            jesuisatire@social.tchncs.de
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #60

                            @mackaj
                            https://witter.cz/@vonxylofon/117312989531229232
                            @emilymbender

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • em0nm4stodon@infosec.exchangeE em0nm4stodon@infosec.exchange

                              @emilymbender @vonxylofon I experience this a lot on Mastodon as well. It is incredibly annoying (to say the least), and I'm very sorry you experience this too, Emily 😔

                              I'm really looking forward to a potential future feature where I could limit replies to my public posts to my followers only. Each time I have a mansplainer in my replies, it's never one of my followers or someone I follow (my followers are great!).

                              I hope this could help you too. I value the insights and expertise you share immensely. It would be a real tragedy to lose your contribution to Mastodon Emily. In solidarity 💚

                              oblomov@sociale.networkO This user is from outside of this forum
                              oblomov@sociale.networkO This user is from outside of this forum
                              oblomov@sociale.network
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #61

                              @Em0nM4stodon @emilymbender @vonxylofon

                              (I wonder if anybody has made any research to find out the reasons behind the differences across networks. Is it a matter of population distribution? The difference in the way posts propagate across timelines? Something else?)

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • jesuisatire@social.tchncs.deJ jesuisatire@social.tchncs.de

                                @vonxylofon
                                your welcome!

                                @emilymbender

                                econads@mendeddrum.orgE This user is from outside of this forum
                                econads@mendeddrum.orgE This user is from outside of this forum
                                econads@mendeddrum.org
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #62

                                @jesuisatire
                                Should be "you're". She's not A welcome.

                                @vonxylofon @emilymbender

                                jesuisatire@social.tchncs.deJ 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • zdl@mstdn.socialZ zdl@mstdn.social

                                  @atanasoff @emilymbender There is an ENORMOUS difference between "talk about the topic of your post" and "explain to an expert their area of expertise because she has a vagina".

                                  But you knew that already and are just being a twat for the sake of being a twat, right?

                                  atanasoff@mastodon.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                                  atanasoff@mastodon.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                                  atanasoff@mastodon.social
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #63

                                  @ZDL @emilymbender did they started their replies with "let me explain to you because you have a vagina" or you just assumed that?

                                  I previously scrolled trough that post, I cannot go back now because the Professor has blocked me, but people were just sharing their own experiences, that's all.

                                  If you are an expert in an area doesn't mean that other people cannot share an experience or have an opinion in the area.

                                  dnkboston@apobangpo.spaceD 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • zdl@mstdn.socialZ zdl@mstdn.social

                                    @codinghorror @Em0nM4stodon @mellifluousbox @renchap Because the increasingly-identical-to-every-other-techbrodude-making-social-media Mastodon team either lacks knowledge and thus doesn't understand what marginalized groups have to put up with, or lacks empathy and doesn't care.

                                    Given the number of times this specific feature has been brought up with them (not to mention a plethora of instance management features), I'm going to guess it's the latter.

                                    codinghorror@infosec.exchangeC This user is from outside of this forum
                                    codinghorror@infosec.exchangeC This user is from outside of this forum
                                    codinghorror@infosec.exchange
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #64

                                    @ZDL @Em0nM4stodon @mellifluousbox @renchap I don't feel that's true. And I'm a substantial funder of Mastodon if you look it up.

                                    zdl@mstdn.socialZ 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • codinghorror@infosec.exchangeC codinghorror@infosec.exchange

                                      @ZDL @Em0nM4stodon @mellifluousbox @renchap I don't feel that's true. And I'm a substantial funder of Mastodon if you look it up.

                                      zdl@mstdn.socialZ This user is from outside of this forum
                                      zdl@mstdn.socialZ This user is from outside of this forum
                                      zdl@mstdn.social
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #65

                                      @codinghorror @Em0nM4stodon @mellifluousbox @renchap

                                      🤷‍♀️

                                      There's a list of safety features that I've seen recommended and rejected as long as my arm. Some of them even had people submitting the actual code to implement it, only to get it rejected.

                                      The Mastodon devs are just not interested in marginalized peoples. This is literally why Blacksky exists instead of Black Mastodon.

                                      Perhaps, if you're a substantial funder, you could swing a bit of that funding weight around and get them to work?

                                      mackaj@mastodon.me.ukM 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • econads@mendeddrum.orgE econads@mendeddrum.org

                                        @jesuisatire
                                        Should be "you're". She's not A welcome.

                                        @vonxylofon @emilymbender

                                        jesuisatire@social.tchncs.deJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                        jesuisatire@social.tchncs.deJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                        jesuisatire@social.tchncs.de
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #66

                                        @econads

                                        "A" ?

                                        @vonxylofon

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • zdl@mstdn.socialZ zdl@mstdn.social

                                          @codinghorror @Em0nM4stodon @mellifluousbox @renchap

                                          🤷‍♀️

                                          There's a list of safety features that I've seen recommended and rejected as long as my arm. Some of them even had people submitting the actual code to implement it, only to get it rejected.

                                          The Mastodon devs are just not interested in marginalized peoples. This is literally why Blacksky exists instead of Black Mastodon.

                                          Perhaps, if you're a substantial funder, you could swing a bit of that funding weight around and get them to work?

                                          mackaj@mastodon.me.ukM This user is from outside of this forum
                                          mackaj@mastodon.me.ukM This user is from outside of this forum
                                          mackaj@mastodon.me.uk
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #67

                                          @ZDL @codinghorror @Em0nM4stodon @mellifluousbox @renchap

                                          I suspect there's a fair amount of plumbing work that needs to be done to support some of these features.

                                          Just because someone submits some code doesn't make its inclusion automatic. If they have a specific bigger picture design in mind they're working towards, having a bolt on alternative that doesn't fit could make the job much harder down the line.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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