It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.
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@catsalad so you're saying it was negging me?
@alice I mean, they are little assholes, so it fits
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It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.
Humans? Legendary assholes.
Dolphins? Assholes.
Cats are notorious for being jerks.Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.
What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?
Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?
@alice
Interesting theory, Alice, very interesting theory. -
@alice Are octopi known to be assholes or are they the outliers here? Also pigs are absolutely smart and also assholes.
Having a hard time thinking of assholes on the other end of the spectrum. Bedbugs probably, they're little shitheads but right up there with amoeba on the "stimulus/response and no smarter" scale.
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One summer while I was wearing shorts, I had a big hornet fly over, bite into the side of my thigh and then proceed to sting me like half a dozen times for no apparent reason.
I feel like hornets, wasps, and yellow jackets are all pretty much raging assholes.
one summer, i was swimming in the Y pool and my hand came up under a dead yellow jacket that i didn't see in time. even dead the stinger embedded in the back of my hand and had to be pulled out with tweezers. i still have a scar.
hornets/wasps/yellow jackets are *SO* assholes, even dead.
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It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.
Humans? Legendary assholes.
Dolphins? Assholes.
Cats are notorious for being jerks.Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.
What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?
Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?
@alice I heard mantis shrimp are jerks
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One summer while I was wearing shorts, I had a big hornet fly over, bite into the side of my thigh and then proceed to sting me like half a dozen times for no apparent reason.
I feel like hornets, wasps, and yellow jackets are all pretty much raging assholes.
@alice they're just hate given physical form.
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@silvermoon82 @DukeDuke @alice
Kind of disappointed it didn't end with the humans being ejected and then the goose driving off and then, I dunno, running for Congress and then pulling a Fetterman?
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It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.
Humans? Legendary assholes.
Dolphins? Assholes.
Cats are notorious for being jerks.Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.
What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?
Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?
@alice can confirm that about dolphins.
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@apontious totally true.
@alice @apontious @MrBirch red rufous especially, they even have resting asshole face
resting ass-face? dunno, they're dicks
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It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.
Humans? Legendary assholes.
Dolphins? Assholes.
Cats are notorious for being jerks.Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.
What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?
Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?
Whales seems pretty chill...and smart! They may not do crosswords, but there's a decent chance they do their version of poetry, philosophy, and opera!
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@Smutty_Tiefling hot take, cage-breaking is not an asshole behavior. eating neighbors maybe, but predators gonna prey on-
okay this is the wrong week for me to talk about this
@alice -
It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.
Humans? Legendary assholes.
Dolphins? Assholes.
Cats are notorious for being jerks.Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.
What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?
Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?
@alice are elephants a counter example? I don't recall ever hearing of an elephant being a jerk.
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One summer while I was wearing shorts, I had a big hornet fly over, bite into the side of my thigh and then proceed to sting me like half a dozen times for no apparent reason.
I feel like hornets, wasps, and yellow jackets are all pretty much raging assholes.
@alice You're 100% correct. They are absolute jerks and they have nothing better to do with their existence than to, well, be jerks.
Multiple times I've had wasps just land on me and hang out, waiting for me to think they're gone and I'm safe. Once I was halfway up some stairs, so kind of stuck in a pretty uncomfortable position. Each time they just patiently wait for me to make a movement of some kind so they can pretend it's my fault that they're stinging me.
Oh, and once I had one where I assume I got too close to its nest, but it just followed me all the way across an entire yard, stinging over and over. Like, I got the freaking point, move on!
If that isn't the very definition of a jerk I sure don't know what is.
I think they enjoy stinging people. I really do.
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One summer while I was wearing shorts, I had a big hornet fly over, bite into the side of my thigh and then proceed to sting me like half a dozen times for no apparent reason.
I feel like hornets, wasps, and yellow jackets are all pretty much raging assholes.
@alice All three of those insect species are assholes.
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Whales seems pretty chill...and smart! They may not do crosswords, but there's a decent chance they do their version of poetry, philosophy, and opera!
@kitkat_blue @alice
Came here for this! Read all the way down all the comments to this last one!I'm afraid I have to "aktchually" and narrow that down to _baleen_ whales who are probably all chill because they just go around eating plankton and singing to their pod mates.
_Tooth_ whales on the other hand, like orca, hunt in packs and will totally mess up seals. Also yachts apparently.
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@pewnack @alice
A resort we went to had no bugscreens and no AC so we had to sleep with the windows open.They supplied a mosquito net and a battery powered bug zapper tennis racket, which we thought was quaint until the first night.
Afterwards we tucked the net under the mattress and pinned the damn thing shit with gorilla paperclips, and once we were in we used the racket to whack any of them that had snuck in with us.
Follow me for more hotel wilderness survival tips.
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@alice "least likely to solve a crossword puzzle" sounds like slugs, sponges, and if im very honest, lionfishes
Edit: tho upon reflection the only one of those that id describe as "jerk who would never solve a crossword" is the lionfish
@Irenetherogue what makes lionfish jerky?
(cue dehydration joke)
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@Smutty_Tiefling god, I've had neighbors like that before 🫤
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It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.
Humans? Legendary assholes.
Dolphins? Assholes.
Cats are notorious for being jerks.Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.
What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?
Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?
@alice oh wait, is this not a post about how humans have pretty butts?
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