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  3. Cis people sometimes demand #trans people rigourously define what "gender" means and explain what drives us to embody a gender other than the one assigned to us at birth.

Cis people sometimes demand #trans people rigourously define what "gender" means and explain what drives us to embody a gender other than the one assigned to us at birth.

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  • jrdepriest@infosec.exchangeJ jrdepriest@infosec.exchange

    @Tattie in fact, I'm sharing a Masto Reader link to this thread on my woke family Signal chat so they can understand what dysphoria is like since it is hard to explain and you have done so in an almost poetic way.

    jrdepriest@infosec.exchangeJ This user is from outside of this forum
    jrdepriest@infosec.exchangeJ This user is from outside of this forum
    jrdepriest@infosec.exchange
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #21

    @Tattie cousin told me, after reading it, that her 25 year old AMAB child thinks he might be transgender. They are currently dating a trans woman, too. Thank you for helping to open up that dialogue.

    tattie@eldritch.cafeT 1 Reply Last reply
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    • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

      Cis people sometimes demand #trans people rigourously define what "gender" means and explain what drives us to embody a gender other than the one assigned to us at birth. If we can't do that, they say, how can they believe us?

      But trans people shouldn't have to be philosophers and psychologists all wrapped up into one to have our experiences believed. 1/

      burnoutqueen@todon.nlB This user is from outside of this forum
      burnoutqueen@todon.nlB This user is from outside of this forum
      burnoutqueen@todon.nl
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #22

      @Tattie

      I'm happier as a girl and the evidence suggests it has to do with my brain but that's all I can conclusively say

      G 1 Reply Last reply
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      • jrdepriest@infosec.exchangeJ jrdepriest@infosec.exchange

        @Tattie cousin told me, after reading it, that her 25 year old AMAB child thinks he might be transgender. They are currently dating a trans woman, too. Thank you for helping to open up that dialogue.

        tattie@eldritch.cafeT This user is from outside of this forum
        tattie@eldritch.cafeT This user is from outside of this forum
        tattie@eldritch.cafe
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #23

        @jrdepriest oh my gosh, I'm so happy that I could be part of that!

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

          Cis people sometimes demand #trans people rigourously define what "gender" means and explain what drives us to embody a gender other than the one assigned to us at birth. If we can't do that, they say, how can they believe us?

          But trans people shouldn't have to be philosophers and psychologists all wrapped up into one to have our experiences believed. 1/

          forestine@sunny.gardenF This user is from outside of this forum
          forestine@sunny.gardenF This user is from outside of this forum
          forestine@sunny.garden
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #24

          @Tattie also a cis person who has never interrogated their gender will get real defensive if you try and flip the question on them. they'll say "i just am" or something

          jaxvent@lgbtqia.spaceJ 1 Reply Last reply
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          • forestine@sunny.gardenF forestine@sunny.garden

            @Tattie also a cis person who has never interrogated their gender will get real defensive if you try and flip the question on them. they'll say "i just am" or something

            jaxvent@lgbtqia.spaceJ This user is from outside of this forum
            jaxvent@lgbtqia.spaceJ This user is from outside of this forum
            jaxvent@lgbtqia.space
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #25

            @forestine @Tattie

            Yep, funny that 😅

            I'm CIS and have never been able to explain why I am CIS, why I am happy with my gender matching my biological sex. I just am. And I don't believe any CIS person really could. So why on earth should any trans person be expected to?

            forestine@sunny.gardenF 1 Reply Last reply
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            • jaxvent@lgbtqia.spaceJ jaxvent@lgbtqia.space

              @forestine @Tattie

              Yep, funny that 😅

              I'm CIS and have never been able to explain why I am CIS, why I am happy with my gender matching my biological sex. I just am. And I don't believe any CIS person really could. So why on earth should any trans person be expected to?

              forestine@sunny.gardenF This user is from outside of this forum
              forestine@sunny.gardenF This user is from outside of this forum
              forestine@sunny.garden
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #26

              @JaxVent @Tattie yes, great points.

              btw in case you weren't aware, cis is not an acronym for anything, but is latin, and doesn't need to be capitalised

              jaxvent@lgbtqia.spaceJ 1 Reply Last reply
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              • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

                That's it. That's what I've got. Just my experience.

                No grand theory that explains everything, no intellectual justification. I can't explain this any more than you can.

                But my experience is real. And I cannot stand by if you're going to "debate" the reality of it.

                I exist. I'm right here. Look at me.
                Fin/

                williampietri@sfba.socialW This user is from outside of this forum
                williampietri@sfba.socialW This user is from outside of this forum
                williampietri@sfba.social
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #27

                @Tattie Thanks! I appreciate you sharing this. It's lovely. Congrats on finding ways to feel like you.

                I also think it's wild that cis people are expecting you to explain gender to them. My experience asking cis people to explain this whole gender thing is that either they flop around like a fish on a riverbank or they fall back on PLUTO IS A PLANET repetition of too-simple things that they learned when they were 7 and haven't thought about since.

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • forestine@sunny.gardenF forestine@sunny.garden

                  @JaxVent @Tattie yes, great points.

                  btw in case you weren't aware, cis is not an acronym for anything, but is latin, and doesn't need to be capitalised

                  jaxvent@lgbtqia.spaceJ This user is from outside of this forum
                  jaxvent@lgbtqia.spaceJ This user is from outside of this forum
                  jaxvent@lgbtqia.space
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #28

                  @forestine @Tattie

                  I knew that, so don't know why I capitalise it 🤔 Thanks for the reminder 🙂

                  anhedonie@chaosfem.twA 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • jaxvent@lgbtqia.spaceJ jaxvent@lgbtqia.space

                    @forestine @Tattie

                    I knew that, so don't know why I capitalise it 🤔 Thanks for the reminder 🙂

                    anhedonie@chaosfem.twA This user is from outside of this forum
                    anhedonie@chaosfem.twA This user is from outside of this forum
                    anhedonie@chaosfem.tw
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #29

                    @JaxVent @forestine @Tattie autocorrect uppercases it automatically for me every time and it's so annoying

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

                      That's it. That's what I've got. Just my experience.

                      No grand theory that explains everything, no intellectual justification. I can't explain this any more than you can.

                      But my experience is real. And I cannot stand by if you're going to "debate" the reality of it.

                      I exist. I'm right here. Look at me.
                      Fin/

                      xorlou@lgbtqia.spaceX This user is from outside of this forum
                      xorlou@lgbtqia.spaceX This user is from outside of this forum
                      xorlou@lgbtqia.space
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #30

                      @Tattie thanks for writing this, it very much mirrors my own experience. I tried so hard to avoid transitioning. I lived as a femme out gay man for over a decade. I'm still just at the early stages and still terrified, but I've reached the end of the road of alternative options. We shouldn't have to rigorously justify our own existence, it's just unreasonable to expect this. There probably isn't a rational explanation for being trans, it's just life and it unfolds the way it does. Sending all my love 💕

                      tattie@eldritch.cafeT 1 Reply Last reply
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                      • xorlou@lgbtqia.spaceX xorlou@lgbtqia.space

                        @Tattie thanks for writing this, it very much mirrors my own experience. I tried so hard to avoid transitioning. I lived as a femme out gay man for over a decade. I'm still just at the early stages and still terrified, but I've reached the end of the road of alternative options. We shouldn't have to rigorously justify our own existence, it's just unreasonable to expect this. There probably isn't a rational explanation for being trans, it's just life and it unfolds the way it does. Sending all my love 💕

                        tattie@eldritch.cafeT This user is from outside of this forum
                        tattie@eldritch.cafeT This user is from outside of this forum
                        tattie@eldritch.cafe
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #31

                        @xorlou well done on reaching this point, it's not easy! Hope transition is bringing you joy!

                        xorlou@lgbtqia.spaceX 1 Reply Last reply
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                        • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

                          That's it. That's what I've got. Just my experience.

                          No grand theory that explains everything, no intellectual justification. I can't explain this any more than you can.

                          But my experience is real. And I cannot stand by if you're going to "debate" the reality of it.

                          I exist. I'm right here. Look at me.
                          Fin/

                          brooke@bikeshed.vibber.netB This user is from outside of this forum
                          brooke@bikeshed.vibber.netB This user is from outside of this forum
                          brooke@bikeshed.vibber.net
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #32

                          @Tattie ❤ ❤ ❤

                          1 Reply Last reply
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                          • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

                            Cis people sometimes demand #trans people rigourously define what "gender" means and explain what drives us to embody a gender other than the one assigned to us at birth. If we can't do that, they say, how can they believe us?

                            But trans people shouldn't have to be philosophers and psychologists all wrapped up into one to have our experiences believed. 1/

                            eruonna@lgbtqia.spaceE This user is from outside of this forum
                            eruonna@lgbtqia.spaceE This user is from outside of this forum
                            eruonna@lgbtqia.space
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #33

                            @Tattie
                            And we shouldn't have to be endocrinologists to get proper health care or lawyers to get our documents changed...

                            tattie@eldritch.cafeT 1 Reply Last reply
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                            • eruonna@lgbtqia.spaceE eruonna@lgbtqia.space

                              @Tattie
                              And we shouldn't have to be endocrinologists to get proper health care or lawyers to get our documents changed...

                              tattie@eldritch.cafeT This user is from outside of this forum
                              tattie@eldritch.cafeT This user is from outside of this forum
                              tattie@eldritch.cafe
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #34

                              @eruonna or ethicists, or sports scientists, or fashionistas, or anthropologists, or conflict mediators, or counsellors (oh wait)

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

                                @xorlou well done on reaching this point, it's not easy! Hope transition is bringing you joy!

                                xorlou@lgbtqia.spaceX This user is from outside of this forum
                                xorlou@lgbtqia.spaceX This user is from outside of this forum
                                xorlou@lgbtqia.space
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #35

                                @Tattie thanks, yes I feel a lot of relief to finally be on HRT and I have been feeling better about myself.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

                                  Cis people sometimes demand #trans people rigourously define what "gender" means and explain what drives us to embody a gender other than the one assigned to us at birth. If we can't do that, they say, how can they believe us?

                                  But trans people shouldn't have to be philosophers and psychologists all wrapped up into one to have our experiences believed. 1/

                                  countablenewt@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                                  countablenewt@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                                  countablenewt@mastodon.social
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #36

                                  @Tattie Cis people be like "I don't make the rules" and then literally go and make the rules

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

                                    That's it. That's what I've got. Just my experience.

                                    No grand theory that explains everything, no intellectual justification. I can't explain this any more than you can.

                                    But my experience is real. And I cannot stand by if you're going to "debate" the reality of it.

                                    I exist. I'm right here. Look at me.
                                    Fin/

                                    cassandra_complex@beige.partyC This user is from outside of this forum
                                    cassandra_complex@beige.partyC This user is from outside of this forum
                                    cassandra_complex@beige.party
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #37

                                    @Tattie
                                    A few people already said similar, but plenty of social sciences have already done all that work of defining gender so we shouldn't have to.

                                    It's not that transphobes can't find the information, it's that they don't care to listen to it anyway because it doesn't validate their own hateful beliefs.

                                    It'd also help if they stopped burning our studies, books, and science centers down then pretending it's a new idea to be a transgender person.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

                                      That's it. That's what I've got. Just my experience.

                                      No grand theory that explains everything, no intellectual justification. I can't explain this any more than you can.

                                      But my experience is real. And I cannot stand by if you're going to "debate" the reality of it.

                                      I exist. I'm right here. Look at me.
                                      Fin/

                                      sternentau@don.linxx.netS This user is from outside of this forum
                                      sternentau@don.linxx.netS This user is from outside of this forum
                                      sternentau@don.linxx.net
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #38

                                      @Tattie 💜

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

                                        Cis people sometimes demand #trans people rigourously define what "gender" means and explain what drives us to embody a gender other than the one assigned to us at birth. If we can't do that, they say, how can they believe us?

                                        But trans people shouldn't have to be philosophers and psychologists all wrapped up into one to have our experiences believed. 1/

                                        richrarobi@mastodon.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
                                        richrarobi@mastodon.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
                                        richrarobi@mastodon.social
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #39

                                        @Tattie

                                        Ask them if they can read. They should read 'Bitch' by Lucy Cooke, a modern zoologist, unlike the Victorian pseudo-scientists revered by the out of touch British Government and obsolete 'supreme' court.

                                        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucy_Cooke

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

                                          Cis people sometimes demand #trans people rigourously define what "gender" means and explain what drives us to embody a gender other than the one assigned to us at birth. If we can't do that, they say, how can they believe us?

                                          But trans people shouldn't have to be philosophers and psychologists all wrapped up into one to have our experiences believed. 1/

                                          wynke@mendeddrum.orgW This user is from outside of this forum
                                          wynke@mendeddrum.orgW This user is from outside of this forum
                                          wynke@mendeddrum.org
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #40

                                          @Tattie One does not have to understand a thing to accept it and believe other people's experiences.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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