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  3. Cis people sometimes demand #trans people rigourously define what "gender" means and explain what drives us to embody a gender other than the one assigned to us at birth.

Cis people sometimes demand #trans people rigourously define what "gender" means and explain what drives us to embody a gender other than the one assigned to us at birth.

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  • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

    Cis people sometimes demand #trans people rigourously define what "gender" means and explain what drives us to embody a gender other than the one assigned to us at birth. If we can't do that, they say, how can they believe us?

    But trans people shouldn't have to be philosophers and psychologists all wrapped up into one to have our experiences believed. 1/

    ruthoday2@chaosfem.twR This user is from outside of this forum
    ruthoday2@chaosfem.twR This user is from outside of this forum
    ruthoday2@chaosfem.tw
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #15

    @Tattie

    Thank you for expressing this, it describes (more clearly than I could) a lot of my own experiences..

    #BoostFaveBookmarkTrifecta

    tattie@eldritch.cafeT 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

      That's it. That's what I've got. Just my experience.

      No grand theory that explains everything, no intellectual justification. I can't explain this any more than you can.

      But my experience is real. And I cannot stand by if you're going to "debate" the reality of it.

      I exist. I'm right here. Look at me.
      Fin/

      jrdepriest@infosec.exchangeJ This user is from outside of this forum
      jrdepriest@infosec.exchangeJ This user is from outside of this forum
      jrdepriest@infosec.exchange
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #16

      @Tattie in fact, I'm sharing a Masto Reader link to this thread on my woke family Signal chat so they can understand what dysphoria is like since it is hard to explain and you have done so in an almost poetic way.

      jrdepriest@infosec.exchangeJ 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • ruthoday2@chaosfem.twR ruthoday2@chaosfem.tw

        @Tattie

        Thank you for expressing this, it describes (more clearly than I could) a lot of my own experiences..

        #BoostFaveBookmarkTrifecta

        tattie@eldritch.cafeT This user is from outside of this forum
        tattie@eldritch.cafeT This user is from outside of this forum
        tattie@eldritch.cafe
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #17

        @RuthODay2 I am honoured by the trifecta!

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

          That's it. That's what I've got. Just my experience.

          No grand theory that explains everything, no intellectual justification. I can't explain this any more than you can.

          But my experience is real. And I cannot stand by if you're going to "debate" the reality of it.

          I exist. I'm right here. Look at me.
          Fin/

          adele@social.treehouse.systemsA This user is from outside of this forum
          adele@social.treehouse.systemsA This user is from outside of this forum
          adele@social.treehouse.systems
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #18

          @Tattie elegantly said and true.

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

            Truth is I don't know. Gender seems a complicated, vague concept to me, and I don't know why I feel the need to be a woman. It wasn't intentional. I never experienced any great internal revelation or certainty.

            Nonetheless, evidentially, I am happier and more well-balanced as a woman. Even despite the transphobia I experience.
            2/

            lisadifalco1@mastodon.scotL This user is from outside of this forum
            lisadifalco1@mastodon.scotL This user is from outside of this forum
            lisadifalco1@mastodon.scot
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #19

            @Tattie Very much so ! I have no idea “what a woman feels like” and I suspect no one else has either. All I do know is that my mind, body and soul feel right.

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

              Cis people sometimes demand #trans people rigourously define what "gender" means and explain what drives us to embody a gender other than the one assigned to us at birth. If we can't do that, they say, how can they believe us?

              But trans people shouldn't have to be philosophers and psychologists all wrapped up into one to have our experiences believed. 1/

              jesstheunstill@infosec.exchangeJ This user is from outside of this forum
              jesstheunstill@infosec.exchangeJ This user is from outside of this forum
              jesstheunstill@infosec.exchange
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #20

              @Tattie I think even more fundamentally - there's been entire books and a million blogs of personal narratives, lots of them. Medical research studies, medical associations, entire international interdisciplinary organizations of people who are the world experts in gender diversity. They all say trans people are real, valid, and who they say they are. If someone isn't willing to accept those piles of evidence, then challenging an individual trans person is just hunting for some gotcha.

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • jrdepriest@infosec.exchangeJ jrdepriest@infosec.exchange

                @Tattie in fact, I'm sharing a Masto Reader link to this thread on my woke family Signal chat so they can understand what dysphoria is like since it is hard to explain and you have done so in an almost poetic way.

                jrdepriest@infosec.exchangeJ This user is from outside of this forum
                jrdepriest@infosec.exchangeJ This user is from outside of this forum
                jrdepriest@infosec.exchange
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #21

                @Tattie cousin told me, after reading it, that her 25 year old AMAB child thinks he might be transgender. They are currently dating a trans woman, too. Thank you for helping to open up that dialogue.

                tattie@eldritch.cafeT 1 Reply Last reply
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                • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

                  Cis people sometimes demand #trans people rigourously define what "gender" means and explain what drives us to embody a gender other than the one assigned to us at birth. If we can't do that, they say, how can they believe us?

                  But trans people shouldn't have to be philosophers and psychologists all wrapped up into one to have our experiences believed. 1/

                  burnoutqueen@todon.nlB This user is from outside of this forum
                  burnoutqueen@todon.nlB This user is from outside of this forum
                  burnoutqueen@todon.nl
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #22

                  @Tattie

                  I'm happier as a girl and the evidence suggests it has to do with my brain but that's all I can conclusively say

                  G 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • jrdepriest@infosec.exchangeJ jrdepriest@infosec.exchange

                    @Tattie cousin told me, after reading it, that her 25 year old AMAB child thinks he might be transgender. They are currently dating a trans woman, too. Thank you for helping to open up that dialogue.

                    tattie@eldritch.cafeT This user is from outside of this forum
                    tattie@eldritch.cafeT This user is from outside of this forum
                    tattie@eldritch.cafe
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #23

                    @jrdepriest oh my gosh, I'm so happy that I could be part of that!

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

                      Cis people sometimes demand #trans people rigourously define what "gender" means and explain what drives us to embody a gender other than the one assigned to us at birth. If we can't do that, they say, how can they believe us?

                      But trans people shouldn't have to be philosophers and psychologists all wrapped up into one to have our experiences believed. 1/

                      forestine@sunny.gardenF This user is from outside of this forum
                      forestine@sunny.gardenF This user is from outside of this forum
                      forestine@sunny.garden
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #24

                      @Tattie also a cis person who has never interrogated their gender will get real defensive if you try and flip the question on them. they'll say "i just am" or something

                      jaxvent@lgbtqia.spaceJ 1 Reply Last reply
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                      • forestine@sunny.gardenF forestine@sunny.garden

                        @Tattie also a cis person who has never interrogated their gender will get real defensive if you try and flip the question on them. they'll say "i just am" or something

                        jaxvent@lgbtqia.spaceJ This user is from outside of this forum
                        jaxvent@lgbtqia.spaceJ This user is from outside of this forum
                        jaxvent@lgbtqia.space
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #25

                        @forestine @Tattie

                        Yep, funny that 😅

                        I'm CIS and have never been able to explain why I am CIS, why I am happy with my gender matching my biological sex. I just am. And I don't believe any CIS person really could. So why on earth should any trans person be expected to?

                        forestine@sunny.gardenF 1 Reply Last reply
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                        • jaxvent@lgbtqia.spaceJ jaxvent@lgbtqia.space

                          @forestine @Tattie

                          Yep, funny that 😅

                          I'm CIS and have never been able to explain why I am CIS, why I am happy with my gender matching my biological sex. I just am. And I don't believe any CIS person really could. So why on earth should any trans person be expected to?

                          forestine@sunny.gardenF This user is from outside of this forum
                          forestine@sunny.gardenF This user is from outside of this forum
                          forestine@sunny.garden
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #26

                          @JaxVent @Tattie yes, great points.

                          btw in case you weren't aware, cis is not an acronym for anything, but is latin, and doesn't need to be capitalised

                          jaxvent@lgbtqia.spaceJ 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

                            That's it. That's what I've got. Just my experience.

                            No grand theory that explains everything, no intellectual justification. I can't explain this any more than you can.

                            But my experience is real. And I cannot stand by if you're going to "debate" the reality of it.

                            I exist. I'm right here. Look at me.
                            Fin/

                            williampietri@sfba.socialW This user is from outside of this forum
                            williampietri@sfba.socialW This user is from outside of this forum
                            williampietri@sfba.social
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #27

                            @Tattie Thanks! I appreciate you sharing this. It's lovely. Congrats on finding ways to feel like you.

                            I also think it's wild that cis people are expecting you to explain gender to them. My experience asking cis people to explain this whole gender thing is that either they flop around like a fish on a riverbank or they fall back on PLUTO IS A PLANET repetition of too-simple things that they learned when they were 7 and haven't thought about since.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • forestine@sunny.gardenF forestine@sunny.garden

                              @JaxVent @Tattie yes, great points.

                              btw in case you weren't aware, cis is not an acronym for anything, but is latin, and doesn't need to be capitalised

                              jaxvent@lgbtqia.spaceJ This user is from outside of this forum
                              jaxvent@lgbtqia.spaceJ This user is from outside of this forum
                              jaxvent@lgbtqia.space
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #28

                              @forestine @Tattie

                              I knew that, so don't know why I capitalise it 🤔 Thanks for the reminder 🙂

                              anhedonie@chaosfem.twA 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • jaxvent@lgbtqia.spaceJ jaxvent@lgbtqia.space

                                @forestine @Tattie

                                I knew that, so don't know why I capitalise it 🤔 Thanks for the reminder 🙂

                                anhedonie@chaosfem.twA This user is from outside of this forum
                                anhedonie@chaosfem.twA This user is from outside of this forum
                                anhedonie@chaosfem.tw
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #29

                                @JaxVent @forestine @Tattie autocorrect uppercases it automatically for me every time and it's so annoying

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

                                  That's it. That's what I've got. Just my experience.

                                  No grand theory that explains everything, no intellectual justification. I can't explain this any more than you can.

                                  But my experience is real. And I cannot stand by if you're going to "debate" the reality of it.

                                  I exist. I'm right here. Look at me.
                                  Fin/

                                  xorlou@lgbtqia.spaceX This user is from outside of this forum
                                  xorlou@lgbtqia.spaceX This user is from outside of this forum
                                  xorlou@lgbtqia.space
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #30

                                  @Tattie thanks for writing this, it very much mirrors my own experience. I tried so hard to avoid transitioning. I lived as a femme out gay man for over a decade. I'm still just at the early stages and still terrified, but I've reached the end of the road of alternative options. We shouldn't have to rigorously justify our own existence, it's just unreasonable to expect this. There probably isn't a rational explanation for being trans, it's just life and it unfolds the way it does. Sending all my love 💕

                                  tattie@eldritch.cafeT 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • xorlou@lgbtqia.spaceX xorlou@lgbtqia.space

                                    @Tattie thanks for writing this, it very much mirrors my own experience. I tried so hard to avoid transitioning. I lived as a femme out gay man for over a decade. I'm still just at the early stages and still terrified, but I've reached the end of the road of alternative options. We shouldn't have to rigorously justify our own existence, it's just unreasonable to expect this. There probably isn't a rational explanation for being trans, it's just life and it unfolds the way it does. Sending all my love 💕

                                    tattie@eldritch.cafeT This user is from outside of this forum
                                    tattie@eldritch.cafeT This user is from outside of this forum
                                    tattie@eldritch.cafe
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #31

                                    @xorlou well done on reaching this point, it's not easy! Hope transition is bringing you joy!

                                    xorlou@lgbtqia.spaceX 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

                                      That's it. That's what I've got. Just my experience.

                                      No grand theory that explains everything, no intellectual justification. I can't explain this any more than you can.

                                      But my experience is real. And I cannot stand by if you're going to "debate" the reality of it.

                                      I exist. I'm right here. Look at me.
                                      Fin/

                                      brooke@bikeshed.vibber.netB This user is from outside of this forum
                                      brooke@bikeshed.vibber.netB This user is from outside of this forum
                                      brooke@bikeshed.vibber.net
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #32

                                      @Tattie ❤ ❤ ❤

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • tattie@eldritch.cafeT tattie@eldritch.cafe

                                        Cis people sometimes demand #trans people rigourously define what "gender" means and explain what drives us to embody a gender other than the one assigned to us at birth. If we can't do that, they say, how can they believe us?

                                        But trans people shouldn't have to be philosophers and psychologists all wrapped up into one to have our experiences believed. 1/

                                        eruonna@lgbtqia.spaceE This user is from outside of this forum
                                        eruonna@lgbtqia.spaceE This user is from outside of this forum
                                        eruonna@lgbtqia.space
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #33

                                        @Tattie
                                        And we shouldn't have to be endocrinologists to get proper health care or lawyers to get our documents changed...

                                        tattie@eldritch.cafeT 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • eruonna@lgbtqia.spaceE eruonna@lgbtqia.space

                                          @Tattie
                                          And we shouldn't have to be endocrinologists to get proper health care or lawyers to get our documents changed...

                                          tattie@eldritch.cafeT This user is from outside of this forum
                                          tattie@eldritch.cafeT This user is from outside of this forum
                                          tattie@eldritch.cafe
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #34

                                          @eruonna or ethicists, or sports scientists, or fashionistas, or anthropologists, or conflict mediators, or counsellors (oh wait)

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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