This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
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@alice @alexadeswift That’s the neat part! You don’t have to! Gale-force winds blow up from the bowl.
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@alice You wouldn't happen to be in Japan by chance?
@grumpydad nope, rural Washington.
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@paul_ipv6 @alice funny story. I got to travel to Japan in the late 1980s with my dad. He was doing something with Matsushita, and I was sort of on my own.
We had a bidet in our hotel room. But as a kid from Texas I didn’t even know the word bidet. And all the buttons (and there were many many buttons) were labeled only in Kanji. No iconography.
Discovery was a string (stream?) of surprises!
Also I will never understand Americans aversion to washing their privates.
@petrillic @paul_ipv6 @alice Just got back from a two week vacation in Japan (Tokyo and Osaka, mostly). Bidets are great. The problem with Japanese toilets is they're heated. Great in winter, awful in the Summer. If there's a way to turn that off, I never found it.
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@grumpydad nope, rural Washington.
@alice Well, colour me surprised! That's just what I expect to find in Japan.
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@paul_ipv6 @alice funny story. I got to travel to Japan in the late 1980s with my dad. He was doing something with Matsushita, and I was sort of on my own.
We had a bidet in our hotel room. But as a kid from Texas I didn’t even know the word bidet. And all the buttons (and there were many many buttons) were labeled only in Kanji. No iconography.
Discovery was a string (stream?) of surprises!
Also I will never understand Americans aversion to washing their privates.
@paul_ipv6 @alice but this was also when I discovered Akihabara and all the amazing little stalls selling just one kind of thing.
Now you have to go to Shenzhen for that.
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@petrillic @paul_ipv6 @alice Just got back from a two week vacation in Japan (Tokyo and Osaka, mostly). Bidets are great. The problem with Japanese toilets is they're heated. Great in winter, awful in the Summer. If there's a way to turn that off, I never found it.
@RinostarGames @petrillic @alice
they seem to have various ways of changing water/seat temp but it's definitely not easy if you don't read japanese. the "boob wash" with cold water is quite a wake up...
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@paul_ipv6 @alice but this was also when I discovered Akihabara and all the amazing little stalls selling just one kind of thing.
Now you have to go to Shenzhen for that.
akihabara was amazing.
my first business trip to japan, i was doing SE support and managed to get our sales team into a meeting with a large customer and it went very well.
when they asked if there was anything they could do or someplace they could take me as reward, i asked for akihabara. my host engineer laughed out loud and said "wow. you really are a geek.".
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@lukeharby oh, bidets use a fresh water spout, so they're not blowing used toilet water at you—that would be just begging for a UTI

@alice Yeah I am looking for the combined bidet/toilet/bathroom console. Thank you.
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This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
@alice Whatever you do.. don't set it to max and wear anything white... that you want to keep.
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@lukeharby oh, bidets use a fresh water spout, so they're not blowing used toilet water at you—that would be just begging for a UTI
@alice @lukeharby Some of them are an entirely separate showerhead-looking thing on a flexible hose hung on a hook near the wall and likewise simply connected to water mains. -
This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
@alice Doesn’t the smoking button control the degree of extension of a thing sort of like the toilet equivalent of the Xenomorph’s secondary mouth in Alien, only for nether-parts water spraying?
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@bthylafh @alice @nina_kali_nina Mos Eisley cantina theme.
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@ApostateEnglishman @alice Apologies for boosting that excellence out of context.
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This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
@alice
I am not flooding my bits with anything coming OUT of the loo.Nope.
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This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
@alice japanese style wash
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@AnachronistJohn it's Beth McCarthy's "Hot and Stupid" cover art.
They're one of my favorite artists.
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@achim I just swear a lot at the wall box.
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@aizuchi "Wipe Out"
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@alice Doesn’t the smoking button control the degree of extension of a thing sort of like the toilet equivalent of the Xenomorph’s secondary mouth in Alien, only for nether-parts water spraying?
@acb either that, or it's IKEA-style instructions for a magic wand.