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  3. This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

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  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

    This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

    - boob wash
    - water-park ride
    - options menu
    - multiplayer select

    - volume control
    - channel selector
    - smoking instructions?

    I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

    byrnensorg@mastodon.ieB This user is from outside of this forum
    byrnensorg@mastodon.ieB This user is from outside of this forum
    byrnensorg@mastodon.ie
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #48

    @alice Whatever you do.. don't set it to max and wear anything white... that you want to keep.

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

      @lukeharby oh, bidets use a fresh water spout, so they're not blowing used toilet water at you—that would be just begging for a UTI 😅

      lispi314@udongein.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
      lispi314@udongein.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
      lispi314@udongein.xyz
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #49
      @alice @lukeharby Some of them are an entirely separate showerhead-looking thing on a flexible hose hung on a hook near the wall and likewise simply connected to water mains.
      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA eruonna@lgbtqia.spaceE 2 Replies Last reply
      0
      • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

        This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

        - boob wash
        - water-park ride
        - options menu
        - multiplayer select

        - volume control
        - channel selector
        - smoking instructions?

        I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

        acb@mastodon.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
        acb@mastodon.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
        acb@mastodon.social
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #50

        @alice Doesn’t the smoking button control the degree of extension of a thing sort of like the toilet equivalent of the Xenomorph’s secondary mouth in Alien, only for nether-parts water spraying?

        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • jens@social.finkhaeuser.deJ This user is from outside of this forum
          jens@social.finkhaeuser.deJ This user is from outside of this forum
          jens@social.finkhaeuser.de
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #51

          @bthylafh @alice @nina_kali_nina Mos Eisley cantina theme.

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • oli@olifant.socialO This user is from outside of this forum
            oli@olifant.socialO This user is from outside of this forum
            oli@olifant.social
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #52

            @ApostateEnglishman @alice Apologies for boosting that excellence out of context.

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

              This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

              - boob wash
              - water-park ride
              - options menu
              - multiplayer select

              - volume control
              - channel selector
              - smoking instructions?

              I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

              sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
              sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
              sassinake@mastodon.social
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #53

              @alice
              I am not flooding my bits with anything coming OUT of the loo.

              Nope.

              alice@lgbtqia.spaceA morton@kolektiva.socialM 2 Replies Last reply
              0
              • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                - boob wash
                - water-park ride
                - options menu
                - multiplayer select

                - volume control
                - channel selector
                - smoking instructions?

                I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                autisticplushy@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                autisticplushy@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                autisticplushy@lgbtqia.space
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #54

                @alice japanese style wash

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                  alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                  alice@lgbtqia.space
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #55

                  @AnachronistJohn it's Beth McCarthy's "Hot and Stupid" cover art.

                  They're one of my favorite artists.

                  @lukeharby

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                    alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                    alice@lgbtqia.space
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #56

                    @achim I just swear a lot at the wall box.

                    achim@mastodon.weindl.bizA 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                      alice@lgbtqia.space
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #57

                      @aizuchi "Wipe Out"

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • acb@mastodon.socialA acb@mastodon.social

                        @alice Doesn’t the smoking button control the degree of extension of a thing sort of like the toilet equivalent of the Xenomorph’s secondary mouth in Alien, only for nether-parts water spraying?

                        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                        alice@lgbtqia.space
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #58

                        @acb either that, or it's IKEA-style instructions for a magic wand.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                          @enbypirate not yet, but I'm sure I will in the end.

                          bcasiello@floss.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                          bcasiello@floss.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                          bcasiello@floss.social
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #59

                          @enbypirate @alice So to speak.

                          dacmot@sunny.gardenD 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • sassinake@mastodon.socialS sassinake@mastodon.social

                            @alice
                            I am not flooding my bits with anything coming OUT of the loo.

                            Nope.

                            alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                            alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                            alice@lgbtqia.space
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #60

                            @Sassinake they use clean water from a separate spout, it's not like a geyser of used toilet water 😂

                            sassinake@mastodon.socialS 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                              @Sassinake they use clean water from a separate spout, it's not like a geyser of used toilet water 😂

                              sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                              sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                              sassinake@mastodon.social
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #61

                              @alice

                              but what if someone shits on the spout? How clean can it be?

                              alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • lispi314@udongein.xyzL lispi314@udongein.xyz
                                @alice @lukeharby Some of them are an entirely separate showerhead-looking thing on a flexible hose hung on a hook near the wall and likewise simply connected to water mains.
                                alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                alice@lgbtqia.space
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #62

                                @lispi314 never used one like that before, but I have an after-market add-on one on my toilet at home, and it's lovely (except in winter when it literally freezes your bits off, but it's a better wake-me-up than espresso).

                                @lukeharby

                                lispi314@udongein.xyzL 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                  This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                                  - boob wash
                                  - water-park ride
                                  - options menu
                                  - multiplayer select

                                  - volume control
                                  - channel selector
                                  - smoking instructions?

                                  I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                                  E This user is from outside of this forum
                                  E This user is from outside of this forum
                                  esoteric_programmer@social.stealthy.club
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #63

                                  @alice multiplayer what? hang on, that means it can be controlled by multiple people at the same time?

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • sassinake@mastodon.socialS sassinake@mastodon.social

                                    @alice

                                    but what if someone shits on the spout? How clean can it be?

                                    alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                    alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                    alice@lgbtqia.space
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #64

                                    @Sassinake you'd have to be a gymnast to do that, plus all the ones I've used are self-washing, and some retract completely until you're ready to use them.

                                    alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                      This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                                      - boob wash
                                      - water-park ride
                                      - options menu
                                      - multiplayer select

                                      - volume control
                                      - channel selector
                                      - smoking instructions?

                                      I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                                      benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                      benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                      benroyce@mastodon.social
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #65

                                      @alice

                                      "options menu"

                                      common error

                                      if you look carefully the button clearly indicates "contemplate the passage of time on the timescale of geological layers." the button means you want to be undisturbed for a bit

                                      which is what we do while sitting on the toilet

                                      or at least i do, don't call me out

                                      isn't this the root behavior and linguistic source of the word "analysis"?

                                      🤭

                                      viq@social.hackerspace.plV acb@mastodon.socialA 2 Replies Last reply
                                      0
                                      • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                        @Sassinake you'd have to be a gymnast to do that, plus all the ones I've used are self-washing, and some retract completely until you're ready to use them.

                                        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                        alice@lgbtqia.space
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #66

                                        @Sassinake I wouldn't drink out of it like a water fountain, but it's cleaner than most butts are after pooping 💁🏼‍♀️

                                        sassinake@mastodon.socialS 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

                                          @alice

                                          "options menu"

                                          common error

                                          if you look carefully the button clearly indicates "contemplate the passage of time on the timescale of geological layers." the button means you want to be undisturbed for a bit

                                          which is what we do while sitting on the toilet

                                          or at least i do, don't call me out

                                          isn't this the root behavior and linguistic source of the word "analysis"?

                                          🤭

                                          viq@social.hackerspace.plV This user is from outside of this forum
                                          viq@social.hackerspace.plV This user is from outside of this forum
                                          viq@social.hackerspace.pl
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #67

                                          @benroyce
                                          "While contributing to creation of said layers" 😂
                                          @alice

                                          benroyce@mastodon.socialB 1 Reply Last reply
                                          0
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