This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
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@alice we added a label after a friend spent several minutes trying to turn off the water park ride
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This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
@alice
It's nice to see modern appliances promoting 80s band Toto
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@Perrin42 @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake
okay okay calm down
@benroyce @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake
It's hard to be calm when you wipe your behind with steel wool soaked in rubbing alcohol and lemon juice. It's also very hard to sit comfortably.
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@benroyce @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake
I use steel wool.
@Perrin42 @benroyce @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake
Camopaper
️: Toilet paper for men! It's tactical! -
@Perrin42 I've heard tobasco adds a nice finish to it.
@alice @benroyce @cynthiarose @Sassinake
Ooh, I'll have to try that. I've seen what tobasco sauce does to old pennies.
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@Sassinake @sandorspruit @alice @benroyce I think they mainly were checking for worms.
Really.
(And no, this is not a Diet of Worms joke. I'm more mature than that.)
@msbellows @Sassinake @sandorspruit @alice
absolutely
it's hard for the modern mind to contemplate the kinds of shit (pun intended) our ancestors had to go through that we are completely oblivious too
it's why there is so many antivax people. they are embarrassingly unaware as to why it's so important and what they're risking. their ancestors would hit them over the head with a frying pan if they heard that antivax shit, they were acutely aware of what a godsend vaccinations are
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@msbellows the water park is for people with ponytails, the boob-wash is gender neutral.
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@alice
I am not flooding my bits with anything coming OUT of the loo.Nope.
@Sassinake @alice A bidet is a bidet, and a toilet is a toilet. If you don't have room in the bathroom for a bidet, you install a bidet ta. I have a bidetta.
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@alice @benroyce @Sassinake Ooh, I see. Nice idea right, inspect the goods before you flush them.
@sandorspruit @alice @benroyce @Sassinake its like...none of you have ibs hahahaha
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i don't know about canada, but in the usa bidets are having an uptick in popularity
they leave you cleaner than toilet paper, and it's a better experience
toilet paper is never going away. i wouldn't use a bidet in a public rest room, that's for damn sure. but at home?
while europe/ japan/ etc looks with confusion and befuddlement at our in-sink garbage disposal, they're walking around with cleaner bums
but let's not get into the dutch poop shelf
@benroyce @Sassinake @alice Um, we totally have bidets in Canada. I've never seen one in the wild, but Canadian stores sell them, they're not outlawed or anything. I've noticed the uptick in popularity too, but I haven't seen any hard data on how much of that is American vs Canadian. Sassinake, please don't try to make anal hydrophobia an identifying trait for Canadians, we don't need that kind of reputation.
But I don't mind if you want to say that's how it is in Saskatchewan, or whatever*.*Please interpret this as friendly, jocular ribbing, I don't actually want to beef.
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@benroyce @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake
It's hard to be calm when you wipe your behind with steel wool soaked in rubbing alcohol and lemon juice. It's also very hard to sit comfortably.
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@ColesStreetPothole @alice @benroyce
yeah, I doubt we live in the same Class.
i remember visiting with some Français and they had them imported and installed in their nice house in Outremont.
@Sassinake @alice @benroyce They are $49 at Walmart in the U.S. so I don't know.
https://www.walmart.com/ip/TUSHY-Fresh-Bidet-Ultra-Slim-Toilet-Seat-Attachment-Self-Cleaning-Hygienic-Nozzle-White-Bamboo/5303527810?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=101044177&adid=22222222223000000000&wmlspartner=wmtlabs&wl0=e&wl1=o&wl2=m&wl3=10352200394&wl4=pla-1103028060075&wl5=87545&wl6=&wl7=&wl10=Walmart&wl11=Online&wl12=5303527810_10001063556&wl14=tushy%20bidet%20toilet%20seats%20website&veh=sem&msclkid=1f0b19cfb3f21bca8f3b73b83849b5fb&gclid=1f0b19cfb3f21bca8f3b73b83849b5fb&gclsrc=3p.ds -
@Sassinake @alice A bidet is a bidet, and a toilet is a toilet. If you don't have room in the bathroom for a bidet, you install a bidet ta. I have a bidetta.
@morton here in the US, I've only ever seen the combo toilet/bidet (usually as an aftermarket add-on to the toilet).
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@benroyce @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake
That's why I wear barbed-wire underwear. It really doesn't help at all, and in fact makes things much worse.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
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@benroyce @Sassinake @alice Um, we totally have bidets in Canada. I've never seen one in the wild, but Canadian stores sell them, they're not outlawed or anything. I've noticed the uptick in popularity too, but I haven't seen any hard data on how much of that is American vs Canadian. Sassinake, please don't try to make anal hydrophobia an identifying trait for Canadians, we don't need that kind of reputation.
But I don't mind if you want to say that's how it is in Saskatchewan, or whatever*.*Please interpret this as friendly, jocular ribbing, I don't actually want to beef.
@Space_Burger_Steve @Sassinake @alice
zero doubt
when i said "i don't know about canada" i didn't mean "that barbaric place of unclean bums" i meant "i'm american but i'm not going to be that stereotypical arrogant asshole that speaks on behalf of experiences and situations in other countries"
i would assume bidet use in canada is prevalent. but i just don't know, so i won't speak on canada's behalf
is canada as in-sink garbage disposal mad as the usa too?
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@benroyce @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake
That's why I wear barbed-wire underwear. It really doesn't help at all, and in fact makes things much worse.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
@benroyce @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake
(I was going to go for chainmail underwear, for the pinchingness and hairpullingness, but the barbed wire seemed tougher.)
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i don't know about canada, but in the usa bidets are having an uptick in popularity
they leave you cleaner than toilet paper, and it's a better experience
toilet paper is never going away. i wouldn't use a bidet in a public rest room, that's for damn sure. but at home?
while europe/ japan/ etc looks with confusion and befuddlement at our in-sink garbage disposal, they're walking around with cleaner bums
but let's not get into the dutch poop shelf
@benroyce @Sassinake @alice Asian bum guns are the best. Squeaky clean and no paper waste
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@Sassinake @alice @benroyce They are $49 at Walmart in the U.S. so I don't know.
https://www.walmart.com/ip/TUSHY-Fresh-Bidet-Ultra-Slim-Toilet-Seat-Attachment-Self-Cleaning-Hygienic-Nozzle-White-Bamboo/5303527810?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=101044177&adid=22222222223000000000&wmlspartner=wmtlabs&wl0=e&wl1=o&wl2=m&wl3=10352200394&wl4=pla-1103028060075&wl5=87545&wl6=&wl7=&wl10=Walmart&wl11=Online&wl12=5303527810_10001063556&wl14=tushy%20bidet%20toilet%20seats%20website&veh=sem&msclkid=1f0b19cfb3f21bca8f3b73b83849b5fb&gclid=1f0b19cfb3f21bca8f3b73b83849b5fb&gclsrc=3p.ds@ColesStreetPothole @alice @benroyce
plus the space, the plumber, and the mortgage...
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@Iwillyeah I think it's like the player indicator on a Wiimote.
You know, for party games
️@alice that's why I never lock the door
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@ColesStreetPothole @alice @benroyce
plus the space, the plumber, and the mortgage...
@Sassinake @alice @benroyce
I installed the one at my house using a single adjustable wrench in ten minutes.
