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  3. This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

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  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

    This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

    - boob wash
    - water-park ride
    - options menu
    - multiplayer select

    - volume control
    - channel selector
    - smoking instructions?

    I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

    benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
    benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
    benroyce@mastodon.social
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #65

    @alice

    "options menu"

    common error

    if you look carefully the button clearly indicates "contemplate the passage of time on the timescale of geological layers." the button means you want to be undisturbed for a bit

    which is what we do while sitting on the toilet

    or at least i do, don't call me out

    isn't this the root behavior and linguistic source of the word "analysis"?

    🤭

    viq@social.hackerspace.plV acb@mastodon.socialA 2 Replies Last reply
    0
    • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

      @Sassinake you'd have to be a gymnast to do that, plus all the ones I've used are self-washing, and some retract completely until you're ready to use them.

      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
      alice@lgbtqia.space
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #66

      @Sassinake I wouldn't drink out of it like a water fountain, but it's cleaner than most butts are after pooping 💁🏼‍♀️

      sassinake@mastodon.socialS 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

        @alice

        "options menu"

        common error

        if you look carefully the button clearly indicates "contemplate the passage of time on the timescale of geological layers." the button means you want to be undisturbed for a bit

        which is what we do while sitting on the toilet

        or at least i do, don't call me out

        isn't this the root behavior and linguistic source of the word "analysis"?

        🤭

        viq@social.hackerspace.plV This user is from outside of this forum
        viq@social.hackerspace.plV This user is from outside of this forum
        viq@social.hackerspace.pl
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #67

        @benroyce
        "While contributing to creation of said layers" 😂
        @alice

        benroyce@mastodon.socialB 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

          @Sassinake I wouldn't drink out of it like a water fountain, but it's cleaner than most butts are after pooping 💁🏼‍♀️

          sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
          sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
          sassinake@mastodon.social
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #68

          @alice

          Well, my disgust/apprehension is moot anyway.

          We don't have them in Canada, and it doesn't look like I'll be travelling anytime soon...

          benroyce@mastodon.socialB endlessmason@hachyderm.ioE 2 Replies Last reply
          0
          • viq@social.hackerspace.plV viq@social.hackerspace.pl

            @benroyce
            "While contributing to creation of said layers" 😂
            @alice

            benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
            benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
            benroyce@mastodon.social
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #69

            @viq @alice

            just a little archeological contribution

            🤭

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

              @lispi314 never used one like that before, but I have an after-market add-on one on my toilet at home, and it's lovely (except in winter when it literally freezes your bits off, but it's a better wake-me-up than espresso).

              @lukeharby

              lispi314@udongein.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
              lispi314@udongein.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
              lispi314@udongein.xyz
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #70

              @alice@lgbtqia.space @lukeharby@infosec.exchange In my country, cold mains water is a basic fact of winter, so I got myself one that also had a hot water hookup.

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                @achim I just swear a lot at the wall box.

                achim@mastodon.weindl.bizA This user is from outside of this forum
                achim@mastodon.weindl.bizA This user is from outside of this forum
                achim@mastodon.weindl.biz
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #71

                @alice

                Ah, the John Spartan method 🙃

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                  This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                  - boob wash
                  - water-park ride
                  - options menu
                  - multiplayer select

                  - volume control
                  - channel selector
                  - smoking instructions?

                  I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                  katzenberger@tldr.nettime.orgK This user is from outside of this forum
                  katzenberger@tldr.nettime.orgK This user is from outside of this forum
                  katzenberger@tldr.nettime.org
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #72

                  @alice

                  There must be a reason why you stayed silent about the Toto football bets button?

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                    This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                    - boob wash
                    - water-park ride
                    - options menu
                    - multiplayer select

                    - volume control
                    - channel selector
                    - smoking instructions?

                    I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                    gimulnautti@mastodon.greenG This user is from outside of this forum
                    gimulnautti@mastodon.greenG This user is from outside of this forum
                    gimulnautti@mastodon.green
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #73

                    @alice Japanese toilets 😊

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • sassinake@mastodon.socialS sassinake@mastodon.social

                      @alice

                      Well, my disgust/apprehension is moot anyway.

                      We don't have them in Canada, and it doesn't look like I'll be travelling anytime soon...

                      benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                      benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                      benroyce@mastodon.social
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #74

                      @Sassinake @alice

                      i don't know about canada, but in the usa bidets are having an uptick in popularity

                      they leave you cleaner than toilet paper, and it's a better experience

                      toilet paper is never going away. i wouldn't use a bidet in a public rest room, that's for damn sure. but at home?

                      while europe/ japan/ etc looks with confusion and befuddlement at our in-sink garbage disposal, they're walking around with cleaner bums

                      but let's not get into the dutch poop shelf

                      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS space_burger_steve@mstdn.caS gentlemantech@cyberplace.socialG samanthajanesmith@lgbtqia.spaceS 5 Replies Last reply
                      0
                      • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

                        @Sassinake @alice

                        i don't know about canada, but in the usa bidets are having an uptick in popularity

                        they leave you cleaner than toilet paper, and it's a better experience

                        toilet paper is never going away. i wouldn't use a bidet in a public rest room, that's for damn sure. but at home?

                        while europe/ japan/ etc looks with confusion and befuddlement at our in-sink garbage disposal, they're walking around with cleaner bums

                        but let's not get into the dutch poop shelf

                        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                        alice@lgbtqia.space
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #75

                        @benroyce bidets are great, but if you don't have one, I recommend that fancy toilet paper that turns red when you've wiped enough.

                        @Sassinake

                        perrin42@mastodon.socialP benroyce@mastodon.socialB jrdepriest@infosec.exchangeJ colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.networkC 4 Replies Last reply
                        0
                        • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                          This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                          - boob wash
                          - water-park ride
                          - options menu
                          - multiplayer select

                          - volume control
                          - channel selector
                          - smoking instructions?

                          I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                          sleepycatten@cultofshiv.wtfS This user is from outside of this forum
                          sleepycatten@cultofshiv.wtfS This user is from outside of this forum
                          sleepycatten@cultofshiv.wtf
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #76

                          @alice Boob wash 🤭

                          alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                            @benroyce bidets are great, but if you don't have one, I recommend that fancy toilet paper that turns red when you've wiped enough.

                            @Sassinake

                            perrin42@mastodon.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
                            perrin42@mastodon.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
                            perrin42@mastodon.social
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #77

                            @alice @benroyce @Sassinake

                            OMG, that is so bad. 🤣🤣🤣

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                              @benroyce bidets are great, but if you don't have one, I recommend that fancy toilet paper that turns red when you've wiped enough.

                              @Sassinake

                              benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                              benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                              benroyce@mastodon.social
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #78

                              @alice @Sassinake

                              i don't know that brand...

                              ohhh

                              😵‍💫

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                                - boob wash
                                - water-park ride
                                - options menu
                                - multiplayer select

                                - volume control
                                - channel selector
                                - smoking instructions?

                                I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                                diz@thegayagenda.fansD This user is from outside of this forum
                                diz@thegayagenda.fansD This user is from outside of this forum
                                diz@thegayagenda.fans
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #79

                                @alice@lgbtqia.space woozy hamburger menu ​​

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • sleepycatten@cultofshiv.wtfS sleepycatten@cultofshiv.wtf

                                  @alice Boob wash 🤭

                                  alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                  alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                  alice@lgbtqia.space
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #80

                                  @SleepyCatten tell me that's not the motorboat button 🤷🏼‍♀️

                                  sleepycatten@cultofshiv.wtfS 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                    @benroyce bidets are great, but if you don't have one, I recommend that fancy toilet paper that turns red when you've wiped enough.

                                    @Sassinake

                                    jrdepriest@infosec.exchangeJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                    jrdepriest@infosec.exchangeJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                    jrdepriest@infosec.exchange
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #81

                                    @alice @benroyce @Sassinake

                                    At a hemorrhoid haver, I feel this one.

                                    We buy wet wipes in bulk.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

                                      @Sassinake @alice

                                      i don't know about canada, but in the usa bidets are having an uptick in popularity

                                      they leave you cleaner than toilet paper, and it's a better experience

                                      toilet paper is never going away. i wouldn't use a bidet in a public rest room, that's for damn sure. but at home?

                                      while europe/ japan/ etc looks with confusion and befuddlement at our in-sink garbage disposal, they're walking around with cleaner bums

                                      but let's not get into the dutch poop shelf

                                      sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS This user is from outside of this forum
                                      sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS This user is from outside of this forum
                                      sandorspruit@mastodon.nl
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #82

                                      @benroyce @Sassinake @alice Euh, I am going to regret asking this but, euh, what’s a Dutch poop shelf? 🤔😬

                                      benroyce@mastodon.socialB 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                        This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                                        - boob wash
                                        - water-park ride
                                        - options menu
                                        - multiplayer select

                                        - volume control
                                        - channel selector
                                        - smoking instructions?

                                        I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                                        joe@toot.worksJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                        joe@toot.worksJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                        joe@toot.works
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #83

                                        @alice I used a bidet in a random burger place that had "Stop button doesn't work. Flush to stop." written in english above the controls. It makes me wonder what happened before they printed that label.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                          alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                          alice@lgbtqia.space
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #84

                                          @1000millimeter the boob wash is for everyone with a butt, and the water park is for vagina-owners.

                                          @mercurial

                                          1 Reply Last reply
                                          0
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