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  3. Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

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  • mloxton@med-mastodon.comM mloxton@med-mastodon.com

    @bob

    I think the "I" in that reply needs to be "you" and "me" for that to work.
    If it is just the woman doing the moderation, then those guys just keep doing it, and it becomes "women's work".

    @vkc

    regguy@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
    regguy@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
    regguy@mstdn.social
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #66

    @mloxton Matthew, I agree with you, we need to deal with it. But to be quite frank, I rarely see it. Not that I'm not looking, rather it's ususally beyond what is in my feed, and therefore I can't respond. I suggest we broadcast, or perhaps create a list that can be used and these women can PM that list with what's happening. I'd be happy to help, but I don't see it, thus I can't help. @bob @vkc

    mloxton@med-mastodon.comM 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

      Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

      Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

      carloshr@lile.clC This user is from outside of this forum
      carloshr@lile.clC This user is from outside of this forum
      carloshr@lile.cl
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #67

      @vkc @Nickiquote fuck that guys! I consider necessary to expose them but even more important is ton promote a culture where that behaviour is never accepted.

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • semitones@tiny.tilde.websiteS semitones@tiny.tilde.website

        @alice I think a lot of guys could also benefit from reading your "sucker punch" post about open registration and moderation. It def opened my eyes so how others are treated on here and elsewhere...

        https://lgbtqia.space/@alice/115499829288185416

        @vkc

        duckwhistle@mastodon.org.ukD This user is from outside of this forum
        duckwhistle@mastodon.org.ukD This user is from outside of this forum
        duckwhistle@mastodon.org.uk
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #68

        @semitones @alice @vkc
        made me take notice too!

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • regguy@mstdn.socialR regguy@mstdn.social

          @mloxton Matthew, I agree with you, we need to deal with it. But to be quite frank, I rarely see it. Not that I'm not looking, rather it's ususally beyond what is in my feed, and therefore I can't respond. I suggest we broadcast, or perhaps create a list that can be used and these women can PM that list with what's happening. I'd be happy to help, but I don't see it, thus I can't help. @bob @vkc

          mloxton@med-mastodon.comM This user is from outside of this forum
          mloxton@med-mastodon.comM This user is from outside of this forum
          mloxton@med-mastodon.com
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #69

          @RegGuy

          I hear you, and the same situation exists wrt racism. People of color say they get a ton of racist interactions, but I don't see it, so don't respond.

          I think three things are going on:
          1. There are things that *I* don't perceive as racist/sexist, but are experienced as such by the target. That bc the perpetrator is modulating to escape detection
          2. There are things that I haven't realized are racist and sexist, and I need to educate myself
          3. I am not in those environments
          @bob @vkc

          regguy@mstdn.socialR sri@mastodon.socialS 2 Replies Last reply
          0
          • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

            Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

            Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

            stux@mstdn.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
            stux@mstdn.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
            stux@mstdn.social
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #70

            @vkc Very sorry this happened! ❤️

            Unfort it does matter on what instance one is since the blocklists are tied to instances and not federated

            There is a very dark corner in the Fedi and those domains should be blocked on instance level by default

            We started out with a long list, after 6 years its only gotten longer and longer but its needed, very much

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

              Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

              Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

              troglet@mastodon.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
              troglet@mastodon.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
              troglet@mastodon.social
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #71

              @vkc Well, that's disappointing. Sorry you had to do that. I do what I can when I see it, but of course I'm only one person.

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                kimlockhartga@beige.partyK This user is from outside of this forum
                kimlockhartga@beige.partyK This user is from outside of this forum
                kimlockhartga@beige.party
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #72

                @vkc oh JFC. I am sorry.

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • byrnensorg@mastodon.ieB byrnensorg@mastodon.ie

                  @alice @vkc I have noticed today in multiple threads that there's a lot of anger out there and dare I say it, twittification, it's as if mastodon is morphing before our very eyes.

                  alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                  alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                  alice@lgbtqia.space
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #73

                  @byrnensorg there's good reason for a lot of anger at some things. The problems have always been here too, but due to active moderation and the nature of federation, it can be less visible (except to the people who get sucker-punched).

                  Also, the only way we keep Fedi from becoming Twitter is by believing the victims instead of the trolls.

                  @vkc

                  byrnensorg@mastodon.ieB 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • mloxton@med-mastodon.comM mloxton@med-mastodon.com

                    @RegGuy

                    I hear you, and the same situation exists wrt racism. People of color say they get a ton of racist interactions, but I don't see it, so don't respond.

                    I think three things are going on:
                    1. There are things that *I* don't perceive as racist/sexist, but are experienced as such by the target. That bc the perpetrator is modulating to escape detection
                    2. There are things that I haven't realized are racist and sexist, and I need to educate myself
                    3. I am not in those environments
                    @bob @vkc

                    regguy@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
                    regguy@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
                    regguy@mstdn.social
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #74

                    @mloxton There is an excellent book, "How to Be an Antiracist," by Ibram X. Kendi. Sexism has become a more difficult thing, as in some cases, it's in the eye of the recipient. I take anything like a slight only because they are the opposite sex to be sexism; that goes both ways. I think there is a lot of overt sexism that's easy to spot. If someone is harassing another, that's not necessarily sexism, but certainly harassment, and occurs more toward women than men, to be sure. @bob @vkc

                    mloxton@med-mastodon.comM 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                      Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                      Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                      lastrobot@writing.exchangeL This user is from outside of this forum
                      lastrobot@writing.exchangeL This user is from outside of this forum
                      lastrobot@writing.exchange
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #75

                      @vkc Very sorry to hear you are experiencing this. It's not ok. 🌞

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                        Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                        Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                        scaro@mamot.frS This user is from outside of this forum
                        scaro@mamot.frS This user is from outside of this forum
                        scaro@mamot.fr
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #76

                        @vkc +1000000

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                          @byrnensorg there's good reason for a lot of anger at some things. The problems have always been here too, but due to active moderation and the nature of federation, it can be less visible (except to the people who get sucker-punched).

                          Also, the only way we keep Fedi from becoming Twitter is by believing the victims instead of the trolls.

                          @vkc

                          byrnensorg@mastodon.ieB This user is from outside of this forum
                          byrnensorg@mastodon.ieB This user is from outside of this forum
                          byrnensorg@mastodon.ie
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #77

                          @alice @vkc There was some threads this week that could've benefitted from an angry dome.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                            Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                            Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                            linuxandyarn@hachyderm.ioL This user is from outside of this forum
                            linuxandyarn@hachyderm.ioL This user is from outside of this forum
                            linuxandyarn@hachyderm.io
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #78

                            @vkc Hugs if you want them, a nod if you don't. Sorry you had to endure that bullshit again.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                              Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                              Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                              steggy@sunny.gardenS This user is from outside of this forum
                              steggy@sunny.gardenS This user is from outside of this forum
                              steggy@sunny.garden
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #79

                              @vkc I will never understand why some people just love to be shitheads.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                @semitones thanks for bringing that up 🩷 seems like a good time to boost that post again.

                                @vkc

                                steggy@sunny.gardenS This user is from outside of this forum
                                steggy@sunny.gardenS This user is from outside of this forum
                                steggy@sunny.garden
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #80

                                @alice @semitones @vkc I think that is the post I saw that made me want to follow you, Alice!

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                  Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                  Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                  gavinisdie@masto.aiG This user is from outside of this forum
                                  gavinisdie@masto.aiG This user is from outside of this forum
                                  gavinisdie@masto.ai
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #81

                                  @vkc is it coming from the same server? If so, i'd make a #fediblock post

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • regguy@mstdn.socialR regguy@mstdn.social

                                    @mloxton There is an excellent book, "How to Be an Antiracist," by Ibram X. Kendi. Sexism has become a more difficult thing, as in some cases, it's in the eye of the recipient. I take anything like a slight only because they are the opposite sex to be sexism; that goes both ways. I think there is a lot of overt sexism that's easy to spot. If someone is harassing another, that's not necessarily sexism, but certainly harassment, and occurs more toward women than men, to be sure. @bob @vkc

                                    mloxton@med-mastodon.comM This user is from outside of this forum
                                    mloxton@med-mastodon.comM This user is from outside of this forum
                                    mloxton@med-mastodon.com
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #82

                                    @RegGuy
                                    At risk of flooding out Veronica's voice here (a real risk and also sexism), yeah, the overt "hey you b*tch" stuff is easy to spot.
                                    More difficult is the coded stuff. Using innocent words to highlight "feminine" vs "masculine" aspects
                                    Even more difficult is noticing undue focus, undue exclusion, and seemingly automatic assumptions that a woman should be more caring or gentle, or be the default peacemaker, etc.

                                    It takes a lot of work, persistence, and attention

                                    @bob @vkc

                                    bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • moondog548@nerdculture.deM moondog548@nerdculture.de

                                      @Aprazeth
                                      This is a huge opportunity. We need to learn *and teach eachother* how to call our brothers in when they're out of line.

                                      We need to know what to do and make it a reflex!
                                      @alice @vkc

                                      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                      alice@lgbtqia.space
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #83

                                      @moondog548 as one of their peers, you can have a huge impact on toxic behavior in 3-5 simple words:

                                      "Dude, not cool."
                                      "What the fuck, man?"
                                      "Hey, that was fucked up."

                                      Pick whatever variation works best for your peer group, and snap back with it as soon as the bullshit leaves their mouth. Be upset and make it uncomfortable for a moment. Don't let them brush it off as a joke.

                                      @Aprazeth @vkc

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                        Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                        Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                        dj@parcero.casaD This user is from outside of this forum
                                        dj@parcero.casaD This user is from outside of this forum
                                        dj@parcero.casa
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #84
                                        @vkc
                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • alex02@elonsucks.orgA alex02@elonsucks.org

                                          @vkc no it is not and quite frankly your response is quite obnoxious. If we can't talk about problems collectively on this shithole platform and only talk about one thing at a time than it becomes loose islands among the rest of the sewage, but fine whatever. Thank you for proving my point about how hostile this place is becoming with all you morons whining, but yet do this type of shit. Anyways, enjoy the block. I generally don't care.

                                          gavinisdie@masto.aiG This user is from outside of this forum
                                          gavinisdie@masto.aiG This user is from outside of this forum
                                          gavinisdie@masto.ai
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #85

                                          @alex02 @vkc what are you even on about 😭

                                          1 Reply Last reply
                                          0
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