What the actual fuck.
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"Launching a constellation of a million satellites that operate as orbital data centers is a first step toward becoming a Kardashev II-level situation"
THIS IS IN AN FCC FILING NOT A SCIENCE FICTION NOVEL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I'M DEAD
@sundogplanets god damn cardassians!!!!! /s
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Bezos: Oh yeah? Well AWS will put TWO million data centers in orbit!
China: Let 5 million space data centers bloom!
Musk: Well, then SpaceX will put TEN million centers in orbit!
Bezos: Fine! ELEVENTY million AWS centers!
Musk: Hah! TWELVETY million SpaceX centers! Each with a cool robot!
Bezos: Meh-meh-meh-robot-meh. Amazon has robots.
Musk: But not COOL robots.
@jakebrake @sundogplanets
Cool 'robots' that are just remote waldos... -
What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
Dieser neuerliche SpaceX/Musk-Blödsinn wird sachlich zerlegt in diesem Astro-Blog
https://www.bernd-leitenberger.de/blog/2026/01/27/musks-ki-rechenzentren-im-orbit/#more-18511
Liest sich nicht immer flüssig, wirkt aber sachlich fundiert.
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@Pepijn @sundogplanets Only if Step 2 involves a knife missiile.
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@PalmAndNeedle @sundogplanets I think I've read that, ages ago. Time for a reread, maybe! My library has it online.
@deborahh @sundogplanets long at times. And kinda weirdly chunked up. But enjoyable
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets
All in sun synchronous orbit?
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@spycrab @dougwade @sundogplanets but I can still shoot them once they're caught in a net though right?
@kwayk42 @spycrab @dougwade @sundogplanets for me, watching the fireballs as they burn up in reentry as the spacecraft that is the net fires its thrusters to take them down, would be more satisfying than smashing them to hazardous bits still in orbit.
(The pollution from the reentry isn’t great, but the smashed bits would reenter eventually anyway, so it’s the same pollution with different timing)
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets Preparing exciting stories to sell their IPO?
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets Shortsighted? No, I think they've invested long-term in SpaceX stock.
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets Apropos of nothing, I recommend Becky Chambers’ SciFi book “The Galaxy, and the Ground Within”. A great read premised on the Kessler Effect.
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets I'd still like journalists to start asking questions when "data centers in space" come up. Questions like:
-"How will you cool them?"
I really can't imagine there's a whole business plan drawn up thinking "space is really cold" will solve it but I'm starting to doubt ...
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets, why is this a problem? Datacenters in space would eliminate a lot of problems like access to free solar energy, cooling, etc.
For example, datacenters are being constructed with massive discounts by councils/municipals and in turn, water and electricity bill of residential area gets higher to pay that offset of costs.
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If you understand anything about the giant CF of data centers right now this is just the stupidest idea ever.
First, the lifespan of these chips runs on the order of 18 months before they are considered obsolete and the chips fry very quickly so there is a very high failure rate.
Also, the data centers power is determined by the networking of all the components in the data center.
Ask yourself if RF communication broadcast between satellites can work like wires
@GhostOnTheHalfShell @sundogplanets Plus the big question of how you cool a GPU datacenter surrounded by the vacuum of space.
But then, you probably don't really need to know anything about datacenters to realize that moving them into space is just going to make every aspect of them more difficult and expensive...
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets - so much for ever seeing stars again
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@sundogplanets I do feel like we're on the path to Neil Stephenson's Seven Eves somehow
@PalmAndNeedle @sundogplanets luckily the satellites aren't big enough to wipe us out when they fall, but they may make impossible to put anything in orbit once enough of them crash against each other
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@sundogplanets I'd still like journalists to start asking questions when "data centers in space" come up. Questions like:
-"How will you cool them?"
I really can't imagine there's a whole business plan drawn up thinking "space is really cold" will solve it but I'm starting to doubt ...
@troed @sundogplanets afaik the only way to cool in space is by radiation. there is no air so no convection. judging from my noob knowledge, i think cooling in space is much more complicated than on earth. because you have only 1 of the 3 possible heat transfers
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
But, until Musk-Kessler Syndrome destroys all access to orbit for many decades, he'll give the world access to his "A.I". that will empower users to *checks notes* generate non-consensual pornography of women and children.
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@troed @sundogplanets afaik the only way to cool in space is by radiation. there is no air so no convection. judging from my noob knowledge, i think cooling in space is much more complicated than on earth. because you have only 1 of the 3 possible heat transfers
@troed @sundogplanets damn, should be relpied to @ppulfer
>why is this a problem? Datacenters in space would eliminate a lot of problems like access to free solar energy, cooling, etc.
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets why wouldn't the FCC robber-stamp it? Isn't their job to rubber-stamp shortsighted companies' plans?
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets ....uhhhhh.
okay, plan b, china builds as many nuclear reactors as it takes to laser broom earth orbit clean, and then we have about 40 years to figure out how to stop the aluminum oxides from destroying the ozone layer,
