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  3. My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

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  • ? Gæst

    My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

    Turns water into wine
    Floats on water
    Makes bread for 5000 people
    Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
    Jesus was a sourdough starter.

    Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

    psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
    psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
    psneeze@mastodon.ie
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #7

    @Buster And he spread to 2.3 billion of the world's population of 8 billion which makes him a yeast infection.

    lanaehforaday@universeodon.comL akamran@indieweb.socialA 2 Replies Last reply
    0
    • ? Gæst

      My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

      Turns water into wine
      Floats on water
      Makes bread for 5000 people
      Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
      Jesus was a sourdough starter.

      Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

      lasse@social.tchncs.deL This user is from outside of this forum
      lasse@social.tchncs.deL This user is from outside of this forum
      lasse@social.tchncs.de
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #8

      @Buster Yeastus Christ, you're right 😲!

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • agowa338@chaos.socialA agowa338@chaos.social

        @Buster

        Heals people => penicillin

        Oh my, that explains everything!

        Jesus was a type of Yeast, confirmed

        Edit: Oh and also explains why eating his flesh and blood are bread and wine, too.

        msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
        msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
        msbellows@c.im
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #9

        @agowa338 @Buster
        The truth was hidden in plain sight right there in his own words, but no one ever realized it before!

        “Again he asked, ‘What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about thirty kilograms of flour until it worked all through the dough.’” – Luke 13:20-21

        "Be careful. Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.” – Mark 8:15

        agowa338@chaos.socialA msbellows@c.imM 2 Replies Last reply
        0
        • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

          @agowa338 @Buster
          The truth was hidden in plain sight right there in his own words, but no one ever realized it before!

          “Again he asked, ‘What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about thirty kilograms of flour until it worked all through the dough.’” – Luke 13:20-21

          "Be careful. Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.” – Mark 8:15

          agowa338@chaos.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
          agowa338@chaos.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
          agowa338@chaos.social
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #10

          @msbellows @Buster

          Also fits in with people singing church songs* while cooking

          * (as they didn't have clocks nor timers at home that's what they used to track the time in between steps, e.g. Step XYZ, sing 5 Ave Maria, ...)

          Christianity is just a big cooking club.

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • ? Gæst

            My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

            Turns water into wine
            Floats on water
            Makes bread for 5000 people
            Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
            Jesus was a sourdough starter.

            Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

            cadbury_moose@wandering.shopC This user is from outside of this forum
            cadbury_moose@wandering.shopC This user is from outside of this forum
            cadbury_moose@wandering.shop
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #11

            @Buster

            Knud Axel Syrup[1]: "Judas, Yeast!".

            [1] "The Makeshift Rocket" by Poul Anderson.

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • ? Gæst

              My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

              Turns water into wine
              Floats on water
              Makes bread for 5000 people
              Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
              Jesus was a sourdough starter.

              Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

              lanaehforaday@universeodon.comL This user is from outside of this forum
              lanaehforaday@universeodon.comL This user is from outside of this forum
              lanaehforaday@universeodon.com
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #12

              @Buster

              MIND

              BLOWN

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • psneeze@mastodon.ieP psneeze@mastodon.ie

                @Buster And he spread to 2.3 billion of the world's population of 8 billion which makes him a yeast infection.

                lanaehforaday@universeodon.comL This user is from outside of this forum
                lanaehforaday@universeodon.comL This user is from outside of this forum
                lanaehforaday@universeodon.com
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #13

                Oh Jesus!

                @psneeze @Buster

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • ? Gæst

                  My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                  Turns water into wine
                  Floats on water
                  Makes bread for 5000 people
                  Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                  Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                  Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                  bololacertus@mstdn.mxB This user is from outside of this forum
                  bololacertus@mstdn.mxB This user is from outside of this forum
                  bololacertus@mstdn.mx
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #14

                  @Buster Now the part of "eat of this bread for it is my flesh" makes sense. It was not about zombies at all.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • ? Gæst

                    My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                    Turns water into wine
                    Floats on water
                    Makes bread for 5000 people
                    Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                    Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                    Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                    nigenet@mastodon.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                    nigenet@mastodon.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                    nigenet@mastodon.social
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #15

                    @Buster Now singing "Jesus was a sourdough starter" to the tune of Jerry Was A Racecar Driver by Primus 🙂

                    ozzelot@mstdn.socialO 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • ? Gæst

                      My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                      Turns water into wine
                      Floats on water
                      Makes bread for 5000 people
                      Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                      Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                      Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                      yuvalne@433.worldY This user is from outside of this forum
                      yuvalne@433.worldY This user is from outside of this forum
                      yuvalne@433.world
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #16

                      @Buster funnily enough, some fringe scholars do actually think Jesus was a type of fungus, though they use other (quite out there) arguments to get to that conclusion.
                      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sacred_Mushroom_and_the_Cross?wprov=sfla1

                      celesteh@hachyderm.ioC 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • ? Gæst

                        My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                        Turns water into wine
                        Floats on water
                        Makes bread for 5000 people
                        Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                        Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                        Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                        jasper@mastodon.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
                        jasper@mastodon.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
                        jasper@mastodon.nl
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #17

                        @Buster 🍞 nom https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacramental_bread

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • yuvalne@433.worldY yuvalne@433.world

                          @Buster funnily enough, some fringe scholars do actually think Jesus was a type of fungus, though they use other (quite out there) arguments to get to that conclusion.
                          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sacred_Mushroom_and_the_Cross?wprov=sfla1

                          celesteh@hachyderm.ioC This user is from outside of this forum
                          celesteh@hachyderm.ioC This user is from outside of this forum
                          celesteh@hachyderm.io
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #18

                          @Yuvalne @Buster

                          This is the plot to a Philip K Dick novel. It's one of my favourites.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • psneeze@mastodon.ieP psneeze@mastodon.ie

                            @Buster And he spread to 2.3 billion of the world's population of 8 billion which makes him a yeast infection.

                            akamran@indieweb.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                            akamran@indieweb.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                            akamran@indieweb.social
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #19

                            @psneeze @Buster ok that made me cackle out loud, thank god I'm alone atm

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • ? Gæst

                              My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                              Turns water into wine
                              Floats on water
                              Makes bread for 5000 people
                              Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                              Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                              Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                              amro@todon.nlA This user is from outside of this forum
                              amro@todon.nlA This user is from outside of this forum
                              amro@todon.nl
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #20

                              @Buster Yeastus! 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • nigenet@mastodon.socialN nigenet@mastodon.social

                                @Buster Now singing "Jesus was a sourdough starter" to the tune of Jerry Was A Racecar Driver by Primus 🙂

                                ozzelot@mstdn.socialO This user is from outside of this forum
                                ozzelot@mstdn.socialO This user is from outside of this forum
                                ozzelot@mstdn.social
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #21

                                @nigenet @Buster The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme also gets the job done.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • jwcph@helvede.netJ jwcph@helvede.net shared this topic
                                • ? Gæst

                                  My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                                  Turns water into wine
                                  Floats on water
                                  Makes bread for 5000 people
                                  Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                                  Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                                  Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                                  nickapos@mastodon.oncrete.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                                  nickapos@mastodon.oncrete.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                                  nickapos@mastodon.oncrete.uk
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #22

                                  @Buster I am pretty Jesus pronoun would be them

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • ? Gæst

                                    My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                                    Turns water into wine
                                    Floats on water
                                    Makes bread for 5000 people
                                    Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                                    Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                                    Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                                    travisfw@fosstodon.orgT This user is from outside of this forum
                                    travisfw@fosstodon.orgT This user is from outside of this forum
                                    travisfw@fosstodon.org
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #23

                                    @Buster in his book Entangled Life, Merlin Sheldrake has a section collecting theories about psychedelic fungi originating religions, connecting possession and enlightenment and so on.

                                    Jesus was definitely a fun-gi.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                                      @agowa338 @Buster
                                      The truth was hidden in plain sight right there in his own words, but no one ever realized it before!

                                      “Again he asked, ‘What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about thirty kilograms of flour until it worked all through the dough.’” – Luke 13:20-21

                                      "Be careful. Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.” – Mark 8:15

                                      msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                      msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                      msbellows@c.im
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #24

                                      @agowa338 @Buster OOH! OOH! And what Jewish holiday did Easter ("He is risen! he is risen indeed!") evolve from?

                                      The Feast of Unleavened Bread!

                                      psneeze@mastodon.ieP 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                                        @agowa338 @Buster OOH! OOH! And what Jewish holiday did Easter ("He is risen! he is risen indeed!") evolve from?

                                        The Feast of Unleavened Bread!

                                        psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
                                        psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
                                        psneeze@mastodon.ie
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #25

                                        @msbellows @agowa338 @Buster Yeaster?

                                        msbellows@c.imM 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • ? Gæst

                                          My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                                          Turns water into wine
                                          Floats on water
                                          Makes bread for 5000 people
                                          Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                                          Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                                          Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                                          rk@mastodon.well.comR This user is from outside of this forum
                                          rk@mastodon.well.comR This user is from outside of this forum
                                          rk@mastodon.well.com
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #26

                                          @Buster

                                          Is made of bread. Or the other way around, anyway. Sometimes. Kinda.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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