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  3. My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

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  • ? Gæst

    My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

    Turns water into wine
    Floats on water
    Makes bread for 5000 people
    Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
    Jesus was a sourdough starter.

    Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

    lasse@social.tchncs.deL This user is from outside of this forum
    lasse@social.tchncs.deL This user is from outside of this forum
    lasse@social.tchncs.de
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #8

    @Buster Yeastus Christ, you're right 😲!

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • agowa338@chaos.socialA agowa338@chaos.social

      @Buster

      Heals people => penicillin

      Oh my, that explains everything!

      Jesus was a type of Yeast, confirmed

      Edit: Oh and also explains why eating his flesh and blood are bread and wine, too.

      msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
      msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
      msbellows@c.im
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #9

      @agowa338 @Buster
      The truth was hidden in plain sight right there in his own words, but no one ever realized it before!

      “Again he asked, ‘What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about thirty kilograms of flour until it worked all through the dough.’” – Luke 13:20-21

      "Be careful. Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.” – Mark 8:15

      agowa338@chaos.socialA msbellows@c.imM 2 Replies Last reply
      0
      • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

        @agowa338 @Buster
        The truth was hidden in plain sight right there in his own words, but no one ever realized it before!

        “Again he asked, ‘What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about thirty kilograms of flour until it worked all through the dough.’” – Luke 13:20-21

        "Be careful. Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.” – Mark 8:15

        agowa338@chaos.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
        agowa338@chaos.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
        agowa338@chaos.social
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #10

        @msbellows @Buster

        Also fits in with people singing church songs* while cooking

        * (as they didn't have clocks nor timers at home that's what they used to track the time in between steps, e.g. Step XYZ, sing 5 Ave Maria, ...)

        Christianity is just a big cooking club.

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • ? Gæst

          My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

          Turns water into wine
          Floats on water
          Makes bread for 5000 people
          Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
          Jesus was a sourdough starter.

          Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

          cadbury_moose@wandering.shopC This user is from outside of this forum
          cadbury_moose@wandering.shopC This user is from outside of this forum
          cadbury_moose@wandering.shop
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #11

          @Buster

          Knud Axel Syrup[1]: "Judas, Yeast!".

          [1] "The Makeshift Rocket" by Poul Anderson.

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • ? Gæst

            My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

            Turns water into wine
            Floats on water
            Makes bread for 5000 people
            Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
            Jesus was a sourdough starter.

            Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

            lanaehforaday@universeodon.comL This user is from outside of this forum
            lanaehforaday@universeodon.comL This user is from outside of this forum
            lanaehforaday@universeodon.com
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #12

            @Buster

            MIND

            BLOWN

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • psneeze@mastodon.ieP psneeze@mastodon.ie

              @Buster And he spread to 2.3 billion of the world's population of 8 billion which makes him a yeast infection.

              lanaehforaday@universeodon.comL This user is from outside of this forum
              lanaehforaday@universeodon.comL This user is from outside of this forum
              lanaehforaday@universeodon.com
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #13

              Oh Jesus!

              @psneeze @Buster

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • ? Gæst

                My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                Turns water into wine
                Floats on water
                Makes bread for 5000 people
                Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                bololacertus@mstdn.mxB This user is from outside of this forum
                bololacertus@mstdn.mxB This user is from outside of this forum
                bololacertus@mstdn.mx
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #14

                @Buster Now the part of "eat of this bread for it is my flesh" makes sense. It was not about zombies at all.

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • ? Gæst

                  My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                  Turns water into wine
                  Floats on water
                  Makes bread for 5000 people
                  Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                  Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                  Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                  nigenet@mastodon.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                  nigenet@mastodon.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                  nigenet@mastodon.social
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #15

                  @Buster Now singing "Jesus was a sourdough starter" to the tune of Jerry Was A Racecar Driver by Primus 🙂

                  ozzelot@mstdn.socialO 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • ? Gæst

                    My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                    Turns water into wine
                    Floats on water
                    Makes bread for 5000 people
                    Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                    Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                    Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                    yuvalne@433.worldY This user is from outside of this forum
                    yuvalne@433.worldY This user is from outside of this forum
                    yuvalne@433.world
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #16

                    @Buster funnily enough, some fringe scholars do actually think Jesus was a type of fungus, though they use other (quite out there) arguments to get to that conclusion.
                    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sacred_Mushroom_and_the_Cross?wprov=sfla1

                    celesteh@hachyderm.ioC 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • ? Gæst

                      My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                      Turns water into wine
                      Floats on water
                      Makes bread for 5000 people
                      Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                      Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                      Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                      jasper@mastodon.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
                      jasper@mastodon.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
                      jasper@mastodon.nl
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #17

                      @Buster 🍞 nom https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacramental_bread

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • yuvalne@433.worldY yuvalne@433.world

                        @Buster funnily enough, some fringe scholars do actually think Jesus was a type of fungus, though they use other (quite out there) arguments to get to that conclusion.
                        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sacred_Mushroom_and_the_Cross?wprov=sfla1

                        celesteh@hachyderm.ioC This user is from outside of this forum
                        celesteh@hachyderm.ioC This user is from outside of this forum
                        celesteh@hachyderm.io
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #18

                        @Yuvalne @Buster

                        This is the plot to a Philip K Dick novel. It's one of my favourites.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • psneeze@mastodon.ieP psneeze@mastodon.ie

                          @Buster And he spread to 2.3 billion of the world's population of 8 billion which makes him a yeast infection.

                          akamran@indieweb.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                          akamran@indieweb.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                          akamran@indieweb.social
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #19

                          @psneeze @Buster ok that made me cackle out loud, thank god I'm alone atm

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • ? Gæst

                            My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                            Turns water into wine
                            Floats on water
                            Makes bread for 5000 people
                            Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                            Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                            Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                            amro@todon.nlA This user is from outside of this forum
                            amro@todon.nlA This user is from outside of this forum
                            amro@todon.nl
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #20

                            @Buster Yeastus! 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • nigenet@mastodon.socialN nigenet@mastodon.social

                              @Buster Now singing "Jesus was a sourdough starter" to the tune of Jerry Was A Racecar Driver by Primus 🙂

                              ozzelot@mstdn.socialO This user is from outside of this forum
                              ozzelot@mstdn.socialO This user is from outside of this forum
                              ozzelot@mstdn.social
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #21

                              @nigenet @Buster The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme also gets the job done.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • jwcph@helvede.netJ jwcph@helvede.net shared this topic
                              • ? Gæst

                                My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                                Turns water into wine
                                Floats on water
                                Makes bread for 5000 people
                                Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                                Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                                Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                                nickapos@mastodon.oncrete.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                                nickapos@mastodon.oncrete.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                                nickapos@mastodon.oncrete.uk
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #22

                                @Buster I am pretty Jesus pronoun would be them

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • ? Gæst

                                  My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                                  Turns water into wine
                                  Floats on water
                                  Makes bread for 5000 people
                                  Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                                  Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                                  Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                                  travisfw@fosstodon.orgT This user is from outside of this forum
                                  travisfw@fosstodon.orgT This user is from outside of this forum
                                  travisfw@fosstodon.org
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #23

                                  @Buster in his book Entangled Life, Merlin Sheldrake has a section collecting theories about psychedelic fungi originating religions, connecting possession and enlightenment and so on.

                                  Jesus was definitely a fun-gi.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                                    @agowa338 @Buster
                                    The truth was hidden in plain sight right there in his own words, but no one ever realized it before!

                                    “Again he asked, ‘What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about thirty kilograms of flour until it worked all through the dough.’” – Luke 13:20-21

                                    "Be careful. Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.” – Mark 8:15

                                    msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                    msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                    msbellows@c.im
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #24

                                    @agowa338 @Buster OOH! OOH! And what Jewish holiday did Easter ("He is risen! he is risen indeed!") evolve from?

                                    The Feast of Unleavened Bread!

                                    psneeze@mastodon.ieP 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                                      @agowa338 @Buster OOH! OOH! And what Jewish holiday did Easter ("He is risen! he is risen indeed!") evolve from?

                                      The Feast of Unleavened Bread!

                                      psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
                                      psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
                                      psneeze@mastodon.ie
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #25

                                      @msbellows @agowa338 @Buster Yeaster?

                                      msbellows@c.imM 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • ? Gæst

                                        My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                                        Turns water into wine
                                        Floats on water
                                        Makes bread for 5000 people
                                        Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                                        Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                                        Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                                        rk@mastodon.well.comR This user is from outside of this forum
                                        rk@mastodon.well.comR This user is from outside of this forum
                                        rk@mastodon.well.com
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #26

                                        @Buster

                                        Is made of bread. Or the other way around, anyway. Sometimes. Kinda.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • psneeze@mastodon.ieP psneeze@mastodon.ie

                                          @msbellows @agowa338 @Buster Yeaster?

                                          msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                          msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                          msbellows@c.im
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #27

                                          @psneeze @agowa338 @Buster Excellent.

                                          psneeze@mastodon.ieP 1 Reply Last reply
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