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  3. I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

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  • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

    What I've shared today is just *annoying*. It isn't the level of malevolence that I've seen.

    I've had stuff sent my way that I have nightmares about. I won't share that crap. But annoying stuff? I'm not holding that back anymore- you-all are getting called out.

    sashin@veganism.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
    sashin@veganism.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
    sashin@veganism.social
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #25

    @vkc How would you feel about sharing the really bad stuff too but with clear content warnings?

    vkc@linuxmom.netV 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • sashin@veganism.socialS sashin@veganism.social

      @vkc How would you feel about sharing the really bad stuff too but with clear content warnings?

      vkc@linuxmom.netV This user is from outside of this forum
      vkc@linuxmom.netV This user is from outside of this forum
      vkc@linuxmom.net
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #26

      @sashin I get things that are illegal if I retransmit them

      sashin@veganism.socialS bredroll@mas.toB toadjaune@hostux.socialT 3 Replies Last reply
      0
      • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

        @sashin I get things that are illegal if I retransmit them

        sashin@veganism.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
        sashin@veganism.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
        sashin@veganism.social
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #27

        @vkc I'm sorry you have to go through that.

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

          What I've shared today is just *annoying*. It isn't the level of malevolence that I've seen.

          I've had stuff sent my way that I have nightmares about. I won't share that crap. But annoying stuff? I'm not holding that back anymore- you-all are getting called out.

          shadowwwind@fosstodon.orgS This user is from outside of this forum
          shadowwwind@fosstodon.orgS This user is from outside of this forum
          shadowwwind@fosstodon.org
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #28

          @vkc hey, thank you for posting here, I rediscovered your channel because of your Mastodon posts.

          For me the moderation is a big reason to be on a managed instance

          Question I had but reading your other comments suggests the answer ;D :
          One thing I wondered, did your mastodon experience change when you moved from a moderated instance to your own?

          dpflug@hachyderm.ioD 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

            @McNeely I think it's unique to decentralization. If your instance blocked a baddie before they post in my replies, you don't see it and I do. In centralized social media, a mass of reports is enough to ban an account and get their posts mass-deleted. That just can't happen here.

            void@social.voidkvlt.euV This user is from outside of this forum
            void@social.voidkvlt.euV This user is from outside of this forum
            void@social.voidkvlt.eu
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #29

            @vkc @McNeely 100% accurate. I run a micro-instance that's likely to upset people and attract bother, and I have to set aside time to expose myself to some genuinely grotesque and upsetting stuff in order to keep on top of the servers I need to block, and we get far fewer eyeballs and interaction on us than Victoria.

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

              What I've shared today is just *annoying*. It isn't the level of malevolence that I've seen.

              I've had stuff sent my way that I have nightmares about. I won't share that crap. But annoying stuff? I'm not holding that back anymore- you-all are getting called out.

              moerje@piaille.frM This user is from outside of this forum
              moerje@piaille.frM This user is from outside of this forum
              moerje@piaille.fr
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #30

              @vkc sorry about all that crap. Some people are using their anonymity to reveal their real nature that can be awful. And because they may read you every day, they think they know you intimately so they suppose they're allowed to tell you anything they want. That's difficult to ignore these haters when you're their target. I hope you'll be able to get over it.

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                claus@hachyderm.ioC This user is from outside of this forum
                claus@hachyderm.ioC This user is from outside of this forum
                claus@hachyderm.io
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #31

                @vkc I'm sorry about how Fedi is treating you. I sometimes forget that my own Fedi bubble is benign not because Fedi as a whole is benign, but because I put in the effort to aggressively block any content I don't like, *and* I don't have a visible enough presence that would encourage the undesirables to circumvent my block list.

                Social media can be garbage, and if you do need a break I will be sad because I enjoy your content, but please do put your own mental health first if you need to.

                Best wishes...

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                  I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                  It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                  I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                  Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                  threedollarchickenparm@mstdn.caT This user is from outside of this forum
                  threedollarchickenparm@mstdn.caT This user is from outside of this forum
                  threedollarchickenparm@mstdn.ca
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #32

                  @vkc Thanks for speaking openly about this, Veronica. I cannot fully understand your situation, but I can relate to being harassed in an invisible way and I wouldn't wish that on anyone else. I wouldn't want to see you leave Fedi, but I also wouldn't blame you if you did.

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                    When people say "Veronica loves the Fediverse", they remove my agency from this place. I'm a character. They're the narrator. I don't like that.

                    I think for a lot of folks, Fedi is sweet. It's quiet. It's slow. But for many, many, many of us, it's this slow-rolling insanity machine where you see the WORST THINGS and nobody else does.

                    And to be frank and clear, I'm just talking about things from my white US perspective. I don't even get the worst of it, and I recognize that.

                    dlaroe@fosstodon.orgD This user is from outside of this forum
                    dlaroe@fosstodon.orgD This user is from outside of this forum
                    dlaroe@fosstodon.org
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #33

                    @vkc

                    You are surely frank and clear.

                    You sharing stuff like this is really valuable to me as a white, cisgendered, heterosexual, male, with a low volume account. My privileges stack in such a way that I see none of the bad actor interactions you do.

                    Thank you for sharing what those who aren't even the worst of us in the Fediverse are doing so we all can know at least that much.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                      @McNeely I think it's unique to decentralization. If your instance blocked a baddie before they post in my replies, you don't see it and I do. In centralized social media, a mass of reports is enough to ban an account and get their posts mass-deleted. That just can't happen here.

                      shadow_glider@equestria.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                      shadow_glider@equestria.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                      shadow_glider@equestria.social
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #34

                      @vkc @McNeely Perhaps reports could be federated and an instance can set it so that if an account has over a certain amount of reports posts/replies have to be manually approved?

                      Not sure how much this would help but it feels like it could help somewhat, obvs if this is a bad idea please tell me

                      bredroll@mas.toB 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                        I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                        It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                        I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                        Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                        classwario@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                        classwario@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                        classwario@mastodon.social
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #35

                        @vkc This platform needs more editing (and anger) aimed at it. This is my third account because I get frustrated at what it is (then come back here for what it should be).

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                          @sashin I get things that are illegal if I retransmit them

                          bredroll@mas.toB This user is from outside of this forum
                          bredroll@mas.toB This user is from outside of this forum
                          bredroll@mas.to
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #36

                          @vkc @sashin i wonder if fedi has a community block list feature

                          nershelam@eldritch.cafeN 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • shadow_glider@equestria.socialS shadow_glider@equestria.social

                            @vkc @McNeely Perhaps reports could be federated and an instance can set it so that if an account has over a certain amount of reports posts/replies have to be manually approved?

                            Not sure how much this would help but it feels like it could help somewhat, obvs if this is a bad idea please tell me

                            bredroll@mas.toB This user is from outside of this forum
                            bredroll@mas.toB This user is from outside of this forum
                            bredroll@mas.to
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #37

                            @Shadow_Glider @vkc @McNeely i do wonder if its more costly to manage federated or honepot blocking than the bad actors just creating more accounts

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                              I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                              It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                              I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                              Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                              borisschapira@framapiaf.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
                              borisschapira@framapiaf.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
                              borisschapira@framapiaf.org
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #38

                              @vkc sorry you have to got through this. Did you notice the content to the server's admin (really asking, not saying you have to)?

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                What I've shared today is just *annoying*. It isn't the level of malevolence that I've seen.

                                I've had stuff sent my way that I have nightmares about. I won't share that crap. But annoying stuff? I'm not holding that back anymore- you-all are getting called out.

                                osma@mas.toO This user is from outside of this forum
                                osma@mas.toO This user is from outside of this forum
                                osma@mas.to
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #39

                                Thanks for being here, and thanks for speaking out. This won't ever get better without first acknowledging it's not good.
                                @vkc

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                  @McNeely I think it's unique to decentralization. If your instance blocked a baddie before they post in my replies, you don't see it and I do. In centralized social media, a mass of reports is enough to ban an account and get their posts mass-deleted. That just can't happen here.

                                  furby@towns.gayF This user is from outside of this forum
                                  furby@towns.gayF This user is from outside of this forum
                                  furby@towns.gay
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #40

                                  @vkc @McNeely This highlights a need for more co-ordinated efforts like The Bad Space, but less manual. @Gargron How are those imported ban lists coming along?

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                    I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                                    It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                                    I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                                    Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                                    hobo_ahoi@mastodon.socialH This user is from outside of this forum
                                    hobo_ahoi@mastodon.socialH This user is from outside of this forum
                                    hobo_ahoi@mastodon.social
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #41

                                    @vkc I really appreciate your work here (as well as on YouTube), and I am glad that people like you contribute the Fediverse. Recently in German Mastodon another woman issued hate speech she is receiving on a regular basis. It‘s a shame, and it‘s simply against everything the Fediverse was built for. Please feel my/our support!

                                    PS: And I apologize for my remark earlier today, which I made while not having understood well the things you were talking about.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • francis@mastodon.babb.noF francis@mastodon.babb.no

                                      @vkc You're great, Veronica, and I do appreciate your work.

                                      eivind@mastodon.fjerland.noE This user is from outside of this forum
                                      eivind@mastodon.fjerland.noE This user is from outside of this forum
                                      eivind@mastodon.fjerland.no
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #42

                                      @francis @vkc I concur. I'm sorry to hear you've had bad experiences here, and I have benefited from your knowledge more than once. And to those making people's lives difficult here, just cut it out.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                        I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                                        It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                                        I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                                        Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                                        nthelt@mastodon.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                                        nthelt@mastodon.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                                        nthelt@mastodon.social
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #43

                                        @vkc I appreciate you. You're welcome here.

                                        I feel that moderation tools on Fedi is lacking. There should be a way for smaller instances to follow the moderation decisions of larger, more well-moderated instances. Maybe in the form of a community blocked users and instances list that updates in real time, and instances can choose to follow that 100%, or apply whitelists and blacklists to it.

                                        Maybe multiple block lists, like we do with ad blocking.

                                        kelson@notes.kvibber.comK prinlu@0x.trans.failP 2 Replies Last reply
                                        0
                                        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                          I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                                          It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                                          I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                                          Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                                          missconstrue@mefi.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                                          missconstrue@mefi.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                                          missconstrue@mefi.social
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #44

                                          @vkc Im sorry you are experiencing this. Being ovarian presenting and conscious has always been problematic for a certain subset of humans to recognize. How very dare we be autonomous. 🫂

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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