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FARVEL BIG TECH
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  3. I am... really tempted to pin this to the top of my account...

I am... really tempted to pin this to the top of my account...

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  • lauraleedukeshire@cosocial.caL lauraleedukeshire@cosocial.ca

    @ives @sundogplanets I'll also add that if one catches themself mansplaining (ie. One is explaining and sees "that look" on her face), one can always course correct with a quick, "sorry, I didn't ask if you already know this." And see what she says. A lot of us will appreciate and give grace to someone who is trying to do better.

    tekchip@mastodon.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
    tekchip@mastodon.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
    tekchip@mastodon.social
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #38

    @LauraleeDukeshire @ives @sundogplanets this seems the right way.

    Everything in the diagram after "No" is assumptions and we all know some things about how those go. 😬

    If I assume a thing is known, and it's not, then things go poorly. If I don't assume a thing and mansplain things go poorly.

    The question cuts the assumptions and ensures things go well. I've done this in the past but I still need to work harder to make sure it's the default. I appreciate the reminder!

    1 Reply Last reply
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    • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

      I am... really tempted to pin this to the top of my account... Print it and put it on my office door... send it as my email signature... wear it around my neck at conferences....
      https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

      chickpeapole@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
      chickpeapole@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
      chickpeapole@mastodon.social
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #39

      @sundogplanets The fact that a flow chart is needed 😭 The actual culprits probably wouldn't even bother reading through this though

      1 Reply Last reply
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      • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

        I am... really tempted to pin this to the top of my account... Print it and put it on my office door... send it as my email signature... wear it around my neck at conferences....
        https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

        fishidwardrobe@social.tchncs.deF This user is from outside of this forum
        fishidwardrobe@social.tchncs.deF This user is from outside of this forum
        fishidwardrobe@social.tchncs.de
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #40

        @sundogplanets i feel like we need a box with the question "are you explaining something?"

        Because that does come up.

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

          I am... really tempted to pin this to the top of my account... Print it and put it on my office door... send it as my email signature... wear it around my neck at conferences....
          https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

          howking@mastodonczech.czH This user is from outside of this forum
          howking@mastodonczech.czH This user is from outside of this forum
          howking@mastodonczech.cz
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #41

          @sundogplanets Is she wrong, and do you want to explain it to her just as you would explain it to a man? Don’t do that—with a woman, that’s mansplaining! 🙂

          flipper@mastodonapp.ukF 1 Reply Last reply
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          • howking@mastodonczech.czH howking@mastodonczech.cz

            @sundogplanets Is she wrong, and do you want to explain it to her just as you would explain it to a man? Don’t do that—with a woman, that’s mansplaining! 🙂

            flipper@mastodonapp.ukF This user is from outside of this forum
            flipper@mastodonapp.ukF This user is from outside of this forum
            flipper@mastodonapp.uk
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #42

            @howking
            do you feel the need to explain?

            This seems more about making yourself feel more authoritative than making the other person feel better or more informed. Maybe just ask yourself if it really matters?

            Also, for the specific example that the OP is referring to (ie. being a recognized authority on a subject and still being mansplained on that subject), your generic response doesn't really seem all that applicable.

            @sundogplanets

            jenzi@mastodon.socialJ 1 Reply Last reply
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            • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

              I am... really tempted to pin this to the top of my account... Print it and put it on my office door... send it as my email signature... wear it around my neck at conferences....
              https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

              flipper@mastodonapp.ukF This user is from outside of this forum
              flipper@mastodonapp.ukF This user is from outside of this forum
              flipper@mastodonapp.uk
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #43

              @sundogplanets i reckon you could have it made into a cattle brand, for helping repeat offenders to remember.

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • karen5lund@mastodon.socialK karen5lund@mastodon.social

                @sundogplanets T-shirts?

                For conferences, print a compact version that fits inside the plastic pocket you get for your conference ID and put it in the back, so you can just flip the badge to show it.

                cerstinmahlow@mastodon.acm.orgC This user is from outside of this forum
                cerstinmahlow@mastodon.acm.orgC This user is from outside of this forum
                cerstinmahlow@mastodon.acm.org
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #44

                @Karen5Lund That's exactly what I wanted to suggest: print it on a paper that fits badges for conferences! @sundogplanets

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • lauraleedukeshire@cosocial.caL lauraleedukeshire@cosocial.ca

                  @ives @sundogplanets Here is my suggestion. When you feel yourself about to explain something, ask her "Are you familiar with _____?". She can either tell you what she knows or ask for an explanation so, that the two of you can establish a common starting point for the next part of conversation.

                  lauerhahn@sfba.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
                  lauerhahn@sfba.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
                  lauerhahn@sfba.social
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #45

                  @LauraleeDukeshire @ives @sundogplanets I'm a woman and I do this all the time. In my work I'm frequently meeting people for the first time and I'm unsure how much info they have on the subject of the meeting. So often my first question is just what you said: "are you familiar with X, or would it help if I gave some background?" It works!

                  loops@neurodifferent.meL 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                    I am... really tempted to pin this to the top of my account... Print it and put it on my office door... send it as my email signature... wear it around my neck at conferences....
                    https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

                    joat@mastodon.scotJ This user is from outside of this forum
                    joat@mastodon.scotJ This user is from outside of this forum
                    joat@mastodon.scot
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #46

                    @sundogplanets please keep a tally of how many men explain to you why it's wrong and/or you didn't understand it

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                      I am... really tempted to pin this to the top of my account... Print it and put it on my office door... send it as my email signature... wear it around my neck at conferences....
                      https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

                      someguy@beige.partyS This user is from outside of this forum
                      someguy@beige.partyS This user is from outside of this forum
                      someguy@beige.party
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #47

                      @sundogplanets I would like to point out that it's not uncommon for #actuallyautistic #communication to be mistaken for #mansplaining.

                      hauchvonstaub@nrw.socialH 1 Reply Last reply
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                      • lauerhahn@sfba.socialL lauerhahn@sfba.social

                        @LauraleeDukeshire @ives @sundogplanets I'm a woman and I do this all the time. In my work I'm frequently meeting people for the first time and I'm unsure how much info they have on the subject of the meeting. So often my first question is just what you said: "are you familiar with X, or would it help if I gave some background?" It works!

                        loops@neurodifferent.meL This user is from outside of this forum
                        loops@neurodifferent.meL This user is from outside of this forum
                        loops@neurodifferent.me
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #48

                        @ives @sundogplanets @lauerhahn @LauraleeDukeshire I gotta say, that phrasing particularly is really bad for me as an autistic person. All I wind up thinking is “I don’t know what you consider familiarity and if it’s the same thing I consider familiar, I wish you’d just give me the background that you think is relevant to your point, and let me filter for myself if it’s useful right now”

                        It winds up with so many meetings going poorly because there is no universal and usefully external measure of familiarity with a given topic

                        nilajones@zeroes.caN 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • dadube@mastodon.socialD This user is from outside of this forum
                          dadube@mastodon.socialD This user is from outside of this forum
                          dadube@mastodon.social
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #49

                          @platypusparent @ministerofimpediments @sundogplanets

                          My people! I'm sorry I happen to be a man.

                          jenzi@mastodon.socialJ 1 Reply Last reply
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                          • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                            I am... really tempted to pin this to the top of my account... Print it and put it on my office door... send it as my email signature... wear it around my neck at conferences....
                            https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

                            roodie@social.vivaldi.netR This user is from outside of this forum
                            roodie@social.vivaldi.netR This user is from outside of this forum
                            roodie@social.vivaldi.net
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #50

                            @sundogplanets

                            How do you measure relevance of experience?Also, can you count experience in numbers? I mean, when you say "s/he has more experience" how does that compare to less experiences but with heavier weight?

                            femme_mal@mstdn.socialF 1 Reply Last reply
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                            • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                              I am... really tempted to pin this to the top of my account... Print it and put it on my office door... send it as my email signature... wear it around my neck at conferences....
                              https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

                              ai6yr@m.ai6yr.orgA This user is from outside of this forum
                              ai6yr@m.ai6yr.orgA This user is from outside of this forum
                              ai6yr@m.ai6yr.org
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #51

                              @sundogplanets Actually, kinda useful, thanks! Will need to post this above my monitor 🤪

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • lappenjammerdiezweite@social.vivaldi.netL lappenjammerdiezweite@social.vivaldi.net

                                @sundogplanets @socketwench

                                Shall we crowd fund this?

                                crowbriarhexe@tech.lgbtC This user is from outside of this forum
                                crowbriarhexe@tech.lgbtC This user is from outside of this forum
                                crowbriarhexe@tech.lgbt
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #52

                                @LappenjammerDieZweite @sundogplanets @socketwench how big of an electric shock does it administer to the mansplainer when the level reaches red?

                                1 Reply Last reply
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                                • venite@mastodon.nlV venite@mastodon.nl

                                  @sundogplanets we need t-shirts. On the back would be great

                                  3dogcouch@mas.to3 This user is from outside of this forum
                                  3dogcouch@mas.to3 This user is from outside of this forum
                                  3dogcouch@mas.to
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #53

                                  @venite @sundogplanets Maybe front & back, because I think they'd be more likely to read it if tits were involved.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • roodie@social.vivaldi.netR roodie@social.vivaldi.net

                                    @sundogplanets

                                    How do you measure relevance of experience?Also, can you count experience in numbers? I mean, when you say "s/he has more experience" how does that compare to less experiences but with heavier weight?

                                    femme_mal@mstdn.socialF This user is from outside of this forum
                                    femme_mal@mstdn.socialF This user is from outside of this forum
                                    femme_mal@mstdn.social
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #54

                                    @Roodie This ^ is whataboutism, an attempt to undermine the point being made, a common follow-on in mansplaining which attempts to contest the mansplained expert's legitimacy and authority.

                                    *block*

                                    snowyca@social.vivaldi.netS 1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                                      I am... really tempted to pin this to the top of my account... Print it and put it on my office door... send it as my email signature... wear it around my neck at conferences....
                                      https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

                                      stargazersmith@social.linux.pizzaS This user is from outside of this forum
                                      stargazersmith@social.linux.pizzaS This user is from outside of this forum
                                      stargazersmith@social.linux.pizza
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #55

                                      @sundogplanets
                                      I realize that misogyny leads to that kind of behavior far worse than I as a man have ever experienced. But I'm a short man, and can tell you that I've received some of that being ignored pattern also.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                                        I am... really tempted to pin this to the top of my account... Print it and put it on my office door... send it as my email signature... wear it around my neck at conferences....
                                        https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

                                        sloanlance@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                        sloanlance@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                        sloanlance@mastodon.social
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #56

                                        @sundogplanets
                                        No, don't do that. It's a bad idea and I can tell you why…

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                                          I am... really tempted to pin this to the top of my account... Print it and put it on my office door... send it as my email signature... wear it around my neck at conferences....
                                          https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

                                          fragmentos@mastodon.socialF This user is from outside of this forum
                                          fragmentos@mastodon.socialF This user is from outside of this forum
                                          fragmentos@mastodon.social
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #57

                                          @sundogplanets lol

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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