This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
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@alice In the late '70s, my dad worked for a boating magazine, and got sent to cover the Miami Boat Show. He took me and my brother along, as well as our step-mom. There was apparently some mix-up with the reservations, however, and as compensation the grown-ups were booked into something called the Coconut Grove Junior Swinger Suite. I recall wall-to-wall black shag carpeting, a round bed on a pedestal beneath an array of lights and mirrors, and, in the bathroom, a large jetted bathtub and a second not-quite-a-toilet thing next to the definitely-a-toilet thing.
Curiosity got the better of eleven-year-old me, and rather than ask what the second thing was, I turned the handle on it. A jet of water shot out straight up out of it and splattered across the bathroom ceiling. It was then explained to me what a bidet was, and what it was for, and that, no, the water going into one's butt at such high velocity would not come out one's nose.
I was skeptical.
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This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
@alice In Japan there are often control panels for toilets and bidets. Warm seats (my favourite) and an option to play a little tinkly music tune for if you have a touch of noisy guts.
If my guts are playing up then it needs Cozy Powell playing the 1812 Overture to mask any noise.
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@alice In the late '70s, my dad worked for a boating magazine, and got sent to cover the Miami Boat Show. He took me and my brother along, as well as our step-mom. There was apparently some mix-up with the reservations, however, and as compensation the grown-ups were booked into something called the Coconut Grove Junior Swinger Suite. I recall wall-to-wall black shag carpeting, a round bed on a pedestal beneath an array of lights and mirrors, and, in the bathroom, a large jetted bathtub and a second not-quite-a-toilet thing next to the definitely-a-toilet thing.
Curiosity got the better of eleven-year-old me, and rather than ask what the second thing was, I turned the handle on it. A jet of water shot out straight up out of it and splattered across the bathroom ceiling. It was then explained to me what a bidet was, and what it was for, and that, no, the water going into one's butt at such high velocity would not come out one's nose.
I was skeptical.
@eedly@mindly.social @alice@lgbtqia.space This is giving me such a beautiful cartoony image in my mind, thank you for the laugh!
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@alice In the late '70s, my dad worked for a boating magazine, and got sent to cover the Miami Boat Show. He took me and my brother along, as well as our step-mom. There was apparently some mix-up with the reservations, however, and as compensation the grown-ups were booked into something called the Coconut Grove Junior Swinger Suite. I recall wall-to-wall black shag carpeting, a round bed on a pedestal beneath an array of lights and mirrors, and, in the bathroom, a large jetted bathtub and a second not-quite-a-toilet thing next to the definitely-a-toilet thing.
Curiosity got the better of eleven-year-old me, and rather than ask what the second thing was, I turned the handle on it. A jet of water shot out straight up out of it and splattered across the bathroom ceiling. It was then explained to me what a bidet was, and what it was for, and that, no, the water going into one's butt at such high velocity would not come out one's nose.
I was skeptical.
@eedly @alice having come late in life to appreciate the utility of an under-the-toilet-seat style of bidet, I can speak on the topic of water velocity with wisdom. With the under-seat variety at least, the water supply is the same as refills the toilet tank. It is commonly possible to adjust the pressure (which also adjusts how quickly the toilet tank refills). By this adjustment, one can calibrate a suitably forceful and yet not perilously forceful pressure for the "jet". A bidet will save a family many rolls of paper (albeit at the cost of having a set of individual "drying towels" added to the laundry duty).
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@Sassinake @alice A bidet is a bidet, and a toilet is a toilet. If you don't have room in the bathroom for a bidet, you install a bidet ta. I have a bidetta.
@morton @Sassinake @alice A bum gun! We were going to get one of those, but then I found a local Toto installer (in Amsterdam!?) with good reviews, so now we have the boob wash and the water park ride instead.
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I think it was my first exposure to the concept as well, but I didn't learn the value and joy of a bidet sprayer until decades later.
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This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
Summer so hot the hamburger menu icons are melting
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@alice In Japan there are often control panels for toilets and bidets. Warm seats (my favourite) and an option to play a little tinkly music tune for if you have a touch of noisy guts.
If my guts are playing up then it needs Cozy Powell playing the 1812 Overture to mask any noise.
@CaptMikeYates @alice I was in a train station in Tokyo once where the stalls in the women’s restroom would automatically play a babbling brook sound if it detected the sound of peeing in the stall. Well it was a very busy restroom so ALL the stalls were doing it at once. That many happy little brooks got pretty loud all together
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i don't know about canada, but in the usa bidets are having an uptick in popularity
they leave you cleaner than toilet paper, and it's a better experience
toilet paper is never going away. i wouldn't use a bidet in a public rest room, that's for damn sure. but at home?
while europe/ japan/ etc looks with confusion and befuddlement at our in-sink garbage disposal, they're walking around with cleaner bums
but let's not get into the dutch poop shelf
@benroyce @Sassinake @alice We used to call the Dutch Shelf, a pay and display toilet..
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@benroyce @Sassinake @alice We used to call the Dutch Shelf, a pay and display toilet..
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Summer so hot the hamburger menu icons are melting
@thepigtailedgirl @alice go home, options menu, you're drunk
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I think it was my first exposure to the concept as well, but I didn't learn the value and joy of a bidet sprayer until decades later.
@Perrin42 @TheGreatLlama @eedly @alice i would have been less skeptical of a bidet if my parents used the analogy of washing my 4H pigs before the showing and again before the sale
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@th oh, far be it from me to police a good time! Have at it ball-owners!
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@alice @lukeharby Some of them are an entirely separate showerhead-looking thing on a flexible hose hung on a hook near the wall and likewise simply connected to water mains.
@lispi314 @lukeharby @alice we had a diaper sprayer on our toilet when the kids were in diapers. A lot of people thought it was a bidet. (Which it probably would have worked for if anyone wanted to have a go with it.)
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@AnachronistJohn @alice @nina_kali_nina
Tom Sawyer.
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@bthylafh @alice @nina_kali_nina
Badger Badger Badger
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@slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice
because you don't have worms like our ancestors did. with that insight, what a blessed time we live in (in some regards)
@benroyce @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice this reminds me of an interesting documentary on the effect of the hookworm for people in the US South, where they became known as stupid and lazy from the lethargic and mindfog effects of their infection:
https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/article/how-a-worm-gave-the-south-a-bad-name/
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@benroyce @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice this reminds me of an interesting documentary on the effect of the hookworm for people in the US South, where they became known as stupid and lazy from the lethargic and mindfog effects of their infection:
https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/article/how-a-worm-gave-the-south-a-bad-name/
@suzannealdrich @benroyce @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice I learned about the poop knife recently.
With that being said, I would like to get an actual bidet, not just the attachment you add to a regular toilet.
