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  3. This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

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  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

    This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

    - boob wash
    - water-park ride
    - options menu
    - multiplayer select

    - volume control
    - channel selector
    - smoking instructions?

    I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

    captmikeyates@tech.lgbtC This user is from outside of this forum
    captmikeyates@tech.lgbtC This user is from outside of this forum
    captmikeyates@tech.lgbt
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #171

    @alice In Japan there are often control panels for toilets and bidets. Warm seats (my favourite) and an option to play a little tinkly music tune for if you have a touch of noisy guts.

    If my guts are playing up then it needs Cozy Powell playing the 1812 Overture to mask any noise.

    lemniscate@infosec.exchangeL 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • eedly@mindly.socialE eedly@mindly.social

      @alice In the late '70s, my dad worked for a boating magazine, and got sent to cover the Miami Boat Show. He took me and my brother along, as well as our step-mom. There was apparently some mix-up with the reservations, however, and as compensation the grown-ups were booked into something called the Coconut Grove Junior Swinger Suite. I recall wall-to-wall black shag carpeting, a round bed on a pedestal beneath an array of lights and mirrors, and, in the bathroom, a large jetted bathtub and a second not-quite-a-toilet thing next to the definitely-a-toilet thing.

      Curiosity got the better of eleven-year-old me, and rather than ask what the second thing was, I turned the handle on it. A jet of water shot out straight up out of it and splattered across the bathroom ceiling. It was then explained to me what a bidet was, and what it was for, and that, no, the water going into one's butt at such high velocity would not come out one's nose.

      I was skeptical.

      loon@transfem.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
      loon@transfem.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
      loon@transfem.social
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #172

      @eedly@mindly.social @alice@lgbtqia.space This is giving me such a beautiful cartoony image in my mind, thank you for the laugh! 🤣

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • eedly@mindly.socialE eedly@mindly.social

        @alice In the late '70s, my dad worked for a boating magazine, and got sent to cover the Miami Boat Show. He took me and my brother along, as well as our step-mom. There was apparently some mix-up with the reservations, however, and as compensation the grown-ups were booked into something called the Coconut Grove Junior Swinger Suite. I recall wall-to-wall black shag carpeting, a round bed on a pedestal beneath an array of lights and mirrors, and, in the bathroom, a large jetted bathtub and a second not-quite-a-toilet thing next to the definitely-a-toilet thing.

        Curiosity got the better of eleven-year-old me, and rather than ask what the second thing was, I turned the handle on it. A jet of water shot out straight up out of it and splattered across the bathroom ceiling. It was then explained to me what a bidet was, and what it was for, and that, no, the water going into one's butt at such high velocity would not come out one's nose.

        I was skeptical.

        cadejohnson@toot.catC This user is from outside of this forum
        cadejohnson@toot.catC This user is from outside of this forum
        cadejohnson@toot.cat
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #173

        @eedly @alice having come late in life to appreciate the utility of an under-the-toilet-seat style of bidet, I can speak on the topic of water velocity with wisdom. With the under-seat variety at least, the water supply is the same as refills the toilet tank. It is commonly possible to adjust the pressure (which also adjusts how quickly the toilet tank refills). By this adjustment, one can calibrate a suitably forceful and yet not perilously forceful pressure for the "jet". A bidet will save a family many rolls of paper (albeit at the cost of having a set of individual "drying towels" added to the laundry duty).

        david@fouroclockfarms.clubD 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • morton@kolektiva.socialM morton@kolektiva.social

          @Sassinake @alice A bidet is a bidet, and a toilet is a toilet. If you don't have room in the bathroom for a bidet, you install a bidet ta. I have a bidetta.

          holly@social.v.stH This user is from outside of this forum
          holly@social.v.stH This user is from outside of this forum
          holly@social.v.st
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #174

          @morton @Sassinake @alice A bum gun! We were going to get one of those, but then I found a local Toto installer (in Amsterdam!?) with good reviews, so now we have the boob wash and the water park ride instead.

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • perrin42@mastodon.socialP perrin42@mastodon.social

            @eedly @alice

            Reminds me of the bidet scene in Crocodile Dundee.

            thegreatllama@kolektiva.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
            thegreatllama@kolektiva.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
            thegreatllama@kolektiva.social
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #175

            @Perrin42
            @eedly @alice
            That scene was my first exposure to the concept, and I'm sure I'm not alone. Didn't see a lot of bidets in the rural PNW back then... Now that they're available as a cheap add-on to an existing toilet, they're everywhere.

            perrin42@mastodon.socialP 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • thegreatllama@kolektiva.socialT thegreatllama@kolektiva.social

              @Perrin42
              @eedly @alice
              That scene was my first exposure to the concept, and I'm sure I'm not alone. Didn't see a lot of bidets in the rural PNW back then... Now that they're available as a cheap add-on to an existing toilet, they're everywhere.

              perrin42@mastodon.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
              perrin42@mastodon.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
              perrin42@mastodon.social
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #176

              @TheGreatLlama @eedly @alice

              I think it was my first exposure to the concept as well, but I didn't learn the value and joy of a bidet sprayer until decades later.

              autolycos@beige.partyA 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                - boob wash
                - water-park ride
                - options menu
                - multiplayer select

                - volume control
                - channel selector
                - smoking instructions?

                I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                thepigtailedgirl@app.wafrn.netT This user is from outside of this forum
                thepigtailedgirl@app.wafrn.netT This user is from outside of this forum
                thepigtailedgirl@app.wafrn.net
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #177

                @alice@lgbtqia.space

                Summer so hot the hamburger menu icons are melting

                eruonna@lgbtqia.spaceE 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • captmikeyates@tech.lgbtC captmikeyates@tech.lgbt

                  @alice In Japan there are often control panels for toilets and bidets. Warm seats (my favourite) and an option to play a little tinkly music tune for if you have a touch of noisy guts.

                  If my guts are playing up then it needs Cozy Powell playing the 1812 Overture to mask any noise.

                  lemniscate@infosec.exchangeL This user is from outside of this forum
                  lemniscate@infosec.exchangeL This user is from outside of this forum
                  lemniscate@infosec.exchange
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #178

                  @CaptMikeYates @alice I was in a train station in Tokyo once where the stalls in the women’s restroom would automatically play a babbling brook sound if it detected the sound of peeing in the stall. Well it was a very busy restroom so ALL the stalls were doing it at once. That many happy little brooks got pretty loud all together 😂

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

                    @Sassinake @alice

                    i don't know about canada, but in the usa bidets are having an uptick in popularity

                    they leave you cleaner than toilet paper, and it's a better experience

                    toilet paper is never going away. i wouldn't use a bidet in a public rest room, that's for damn sure. but at home?

                    while europe/ japan/ etc looks with confusion and befuddlement at our in-sink garbage disposal, they're walking around with cleaner bums

                    but let's not get into the dutch poop shelf

                    samanthajanesmith@lgbtqia.spaceS This user is from outside of this forum
                    samanthajanesmith@lgbtqia.spaceS This user is from outside of this forum
                    samanthajanesmith@lgbtqia.space
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #179

                    @benroyce @Sassinake @alice We used to call the Dutch Shelf, a pay and display toilet..

                    benroyce@mastodon.socialB 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • samanthajanesmith@lgbtqia.spaceS samanthajanesmith@lgbtqia.space

                      @benroyce @Sassinake @alice We used to call the Dutch Shelf, a pay and display toilet..

                      benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                      benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                      benroyce@mastodon.social
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #180

                      @SamanthaJaneSmith @Sassinake @alice 😆

                      alexadeswift@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • thepigtailedgirl@app.wafrn.netT thepigtailedgirl@app.wafrn.net

                        @alice@lgbtqia.space

                        Summer so hot the hamburger menu icons are melting

                        eruonna@lgbtqia.spaceE This user is from outside of this forum
                        eruonna@lgbtqia.spaceE This user is from outside of this forum
                        eruonna@lgbtqia.space
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #181

                        @thepigtailedgirl @alice go home, options menu, you're drunk

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • perrin42@mastodon.socialP perrin42@mastodon.social

                          @TheGreatLlama @eedly @alice

                          I think it was my first exposure to the concept as well, but I didn't learn the value and joy of a bidet sprayer until decades later.

                          autolycos@beige.partyA This user is from outside of this forum
                          autolycos@beige.partyA This user is from outside of this forum
                          autolycos@beige.party
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #182

                          @Perrin42 @TheGreatLlama @eedly @alice i would have been less skeptical of a bidet if my parents used the analogy of washing my 4H pigs before the showing and again before the sale

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                            @th oh, far be it from me to police a good time! Have at it ball-owners!

                            @msbellows

                            perrin42@mastodon.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
                            perrin42@mastodon.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
                            perrin42@mastodon.social
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #183

                            @alice @th @msbellows

                            😬

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • lispi314@udongein.xyzL lispi314@udongein.xyz
                              @alice @lukeharby Some of them are an entirely separate showerhead-looking thing on a flexible hose hung on a hook near the wall and likewise simply connected to water mains.
                              eruonna@lgbtqia.spaceE This user is from outside of this forum
                              eruonna@lgbtqia.spaceE This user is from outside of this forum
                              eruonna@lgbtqia.space
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #184

                              @lispi314 @lukeharby @alice we had a diaper sprayer on our toilet when the kids were in diapers. A lot of people thought it was a bidet. (Which it probably would have worked for if anyone wanted to have a go with it.)

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • perrin42@mastodon.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
                                perrin42@mastodon.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
                                perrin42@mastodon.social
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #185

                                @AnachronistJohn @alice @nina_kali_nina

                                Tom Sawyer.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • perrin42@mastodon.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
                                  perrin42@mastodon.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
                                  perrin42@mastodon.social
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #186

                                  @bthylafh @alice @nina_kali_nina

                                  Badger Badger Badger

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

                                    @SamanthaJaneSmith @Sassinake @alice 😆

                                    alexadeswift@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                    alexadeswift@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                    alexadeswift@lgbtqia.space
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #187

                                    @benroyce

                                    Well that is one way to spend a penny!

                                    @SamanthaJaneSmith @Sassinake @alice

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

                                      @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice

                                      because you don't have worms like our ancestors did. with that insight, what a blessed time we live in (in some regards)

                                      suzannealdrich@hachyderm.ioS This user is from outside of this forum
                                      suzannealdrich@hachyderm.ioS This user is from outside of this forum
                                      suzannealdrich@hachyderm.io
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #188

                                      @benroyce @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice this reminds me of an interesting documentary on the effect of the hookworm for people in the US South, where they became known as stupid and lazy from the lethargic and mindfog effects of their infection:

                                      https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/article/how-a-worm-gave-the-south-a-bad-name/

                                      macacator@mastodon.socialM 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • suzannealdrich@hachyderm.ioS suzannealdrich@hachyderm.io

                                        @benroyce @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice this reminds me of an interesting documentary on the effect of the hookworm for people in the US South, where they became known as stupid and lazy from the lethargic and mindfog effects of their infection:

                                        https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/article/how-a-worm-gave-the-south-a-bad-name/

                                        macacator@mastodon.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                                        macacator@mastodon.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                                        macacator@mastodon.social
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #189

                                        @suzannealdrich @benroyce @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice I learned about the poop knife recently.

                                        With that being said, I would like to get an actual bidet, not just the attachment you add to a regular toilet.

                                        benroyce@mastodon.socialB alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 2 Replies Last reply
                                        0
                                        • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                          @SleepyCatten tell me that's not the motorboat button 🤷🏼‍♀️

                                          sleepycatten@cultofshiv.wtfS This user is from outside of this forum
                                          sleepycatten@cultofshiv.wtfS This user is from outside of this forum
                                          sleepycatten@cultofshiv.wtf
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #190

                                          @alice

                                          We definitely shouldn't be considered any kind of expert on deciphering symbols 😅

                                          Nor would we seek to tell somebody else that their interpretation of signs is wrong.

                                          If we told you what we see those as, it would tell you a lot about how our mind works 😅😶

                                          koalou@lgbtqia.spaceK 1 Reply Last reply
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