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  3. This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

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  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

    This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

    - boob wash
    - water-park ride
    - options menu
    - multiplayer select

    - volume control
    - channel selector
    - smoking instructions?

    I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

    diz@thegayagenda.fansD This user is from outside of this forum
    diz@thegayagenda.fansD This user is from outside of this forum
    diz@thegayagenda.fans
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #79

    @alice@lgbtqia.space woozy hamburger menu ​​

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • sleepycatten@cultofshiv.wtfS sleepycatten@cultofshiv.wtf

      @alice Boob wash 🤭

      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
      alice@lgbtqia.space
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #80

      @SleepyCatten tell me that's not the motorboat button 🤷🏼‍♀️

      sleepycatten@cultofshiv.wtfS 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

        @benroyce bidets are great, but if you don't have one, I recommend that fancy toilet paper that turns red when you've wiped enough.

        @Sassinake

        jrdepriest@infosec.exchangeJ This user is from outside of this forum
        jrdepriest@infosec.exchangeJ This user is from outside of this forum
        jrdepriest@infosec.exchange
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #81

        @alice @benroyce @Sassinake

        At a hemorrhoid haver, I feel this one.

        We buy wet wipes in bulk.

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

          @Sassinake @alice

          i don't know about canada, but in the usa bidets are having an uptick in popularity

          they leave you cleaner than toilet paper, and it's a better experience

          toilet paper is never going away. i wouldn't use a bidet in a public rest room, that's for damn sure. but at home?

          while europe/ japan/ etc looks with confusion and befuddlement at our in-sink garbage disposal, they're walking around with cleaner bums

          but let's not get into the dutch poop shelf

          sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS This user is from outside of this forum
          sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS This user is from outside of this forum
          sandorspruit@mastodon.nl
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #82

          @benroyce @Sassinake @alice Euh, I am going to regret asking this but, euh, what’s a Dutch poop shelf? 🤔😬

          benroyce@mastodon.socialB 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

            This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

            - boob wash
            - water-park ride
            - options menu
            - multiplayer select

            - volume control
            - channel selector
            - smoking instructions?

            I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

            joe@toot.worksJ This user is from outside of this forum
            joe@toot.worksJ This user is from outside of this forum
            joe@toot.works
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #83

            @alice I used a bidet in a random burger place that had "Stop button doesn't work. Flush to stop." written in english above the controls. It makes me wonder what happened before they printed that label.

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
              alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
              alice@lgbtqia.space
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #84

              @1000millimeter the boob wash is for everyone with a butt, and the water park is for vagina-owners.

              @mercurial

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS sandorspruit@mastodon.nl

                @benroyce @Sassinake @alice Euh, I am going to regret asking this but, euh, what’s a Dutch poop shelf? 🤔😬

                benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                benroyce@mastodon.social
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #85

                @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice

                people would want to look at their poop for health reasons. so you poop on a shelf in the bowl for inspection

                it's fading away, it's mostly historical and a curiousity nowadays in old houses. new builds in the netherlands don't have it. and it's not unique to the netherlands

                sassinake@mastodon.socialS alice@lgbtqia.spaceA morton@kolektiva.socialM 3 Replies Last reply
                0
                • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                  This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                  - boob wash
                  - water-park ride
                  - options menu
                  - multiplayer select

                  - volume control
                  - channel selector
                  - smoking instructions?

                  I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                  simonwilliamson@mastodon.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                  simonwilliamson@mastodon.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                  simonwilliamson@mastodon.world
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #86

                  @alice the third one looks like a fountain riding function, the next one a road (in case you want to go for a drive) and the last is for when you want to see a ghost.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                    This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                    - boob wash
                    - water-park ride
                    - options menu
                    - multiplayer select

                    - volume control
                    - channel selector
                    - smoking instructions?

                    I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                    th@social.v.stT This user is from outside of this forum
                    th@social.v.stT This user is from outside of this forum
                    th@social.v.st
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #87

                    @alice we added a label after a friend spent several minutes trying to turn off the water park ride

                    alice@lgbtqia.spaceA msbellows@c.imM 2 Replies Last reply
                    0
                    • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                      This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                      - boob wash
                      - water-park ride
                      - options menu
                      - multiplayer select

                      - volume control
                      - channel selector
                      - smoking instructions?

                      I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                      iwillyeah@mastodon.ieI This user is from outside of this forum
                      iwillyeah@mastodon.ieI This user is from outside of this forum
                      iwillyeah@mastodon.ie
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #88

                      @alice what happens you page the dude on the right? Or is that the button for buttplug installation?

                      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                        alice@lgbtqia.space
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #89

                        @cynthiarose I read your reply, and for a brief moment was like "mine was a joke. That has to be a joke...right? Do half of men really wipe that hard with cheap toilet paper?"

                        💁🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ (I can be dense sometimes)

                        @benroyce @Sassinake

                        benroyce@mastodon.socialB 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

                          @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice

                          people would want to look at their poop for health reasons. so you poop on a shelf in the bowl for inspection

                          it's fading away, it's mostly historical and a curiousity nowadays in old houses. new builds in the netherlands don't have it. and it's not unique to the netherlands

                          sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                          sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                          sassinake@mastodon.social
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #90

                          @benroyce @sandorspruit @alice

                          (why did I have to put my 2c in?)

                          benroyce@mastodon.socialB alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 2 Replies Last reply
                          0
                          • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                            @cynthiarose I read your reply, and for a brief moment was like "mine was a joke. That has to be a joke...right? Do half of men really wipe that hard with cheap toilet paper?"

                            💁🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ (I can be dense sometimes)

                            @benroyce @Sassinake

                            benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                            benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                            benroyce@mastodon.social
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #91

                            @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake

                            real men give themselves anal fissures!

                            show the poop who is boss!

                            if you're not wiping with sandpaper quality toilet paper you're WEAK!

                            (/s)

                            🥴

                            sassinake@mastodon.socialS perrin42@mastodon.socialP a_minion@mastodon.socialA david@fouroclockfarms.clubD 4 Replies Last reply
                            0
                            • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

                              @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice

                              people would want to look at their poop for health reasons. so you poop on a shelf in the bowl for inspection

                              it's fading away, it's mostly historical and a curiousity nowadays in old houses. new builds in the netherlands don't have it. and it's not unique to the netherlands

                              alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                              alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                              alice@lgbtqia.space
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #92

                              @benroyce I'd never heard of that...

                              Huh, TIL 🤷🏼‍♀️

                              @sandorspruit @Sassinake

                              sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS alexadeswift@lgbtqia.spaceA 2 Replies Last reply
                              0
                              • th@social.v.stT th@social.v.st

                                @alice we added a label after a friend spent several minutes trying to turn off the water park ride

                                alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                alice@lgbtqia.space
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #93

                                @th Wild Waves ain't got nothin' on this ride.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                  @benroyce I'd never heard of that...

                                  Huh, TIL 🤷🏼‍♀️

                                  @sandorspruit @Sassinake

                                  sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS This user is from outside of this forum
                                  sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS This user is from outside of this forum
                                  sandorspruit@mastodon.nl
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #94

                                  @alice @benroyce @Sassinake Ooh, I see. Nice idea right, inspect the goods before you flush them.

                                  sassinake@mastodon.socialS emily_rugburn@lgbtqia.spaceE 2 Replies Last reply
                                  0
                                  • iwillyeah@mastodon.ieI iwillyeah@mastodon.ie

                                    @alice what happens you page the dude on the right? Or is that the button for buttplug installation?

                                    alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                    alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                    alice@lgbtqia.space
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #95

                                    @Iwillyeah I think it's like the player indicator on a Wiimote.

                                    You know, for party games 💁🏼‍♀️

                                    iwillyeah@mastodon.ieI 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

                                      @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake

                                      real men give themselves anal fissures!

                                      show the poop who is boss!

                                      if you're not wiping with sandpaper quality toilet paper you're WEAK!

                                      (/s)

                                      🥴

                                      sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                      sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                      sassinake@mastodon.social
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #96

                                      @benroyce @alice @cynthiarose

                                      But the alternative is worse:

                                      Where guys talk themselves into thinking touching anywhere 'around there' is 'gay', so they don't wipe - or wash - their asses.

                                      like... AT ALL.

                                      benroyce@mastodon.socialB alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 2 Replies Last reply
                                      0
                                      • sassinake@mastodon.socialS sassinake@mastodon.social

                                        @benroyce @sandorspruit @alice

                                        (why did I have to put my 2c in?)

                                        benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                        benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                        benroyce@mastodon.social
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #97

                                        @Sassinake @sandorspruit @alice

                                        🤭

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS sandorspruit@mastodon.nl

                                          @alice @benroyce @Sassinake Ooh, I see. Nice idea right, inspect the goods before you flush them.

                                          sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                          sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                          sassinake@mastodon.social
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #98

                                          @sandorspruit @alice @benroyce

                                          I mean... feces are a good indicator for health...

                                          msbellows@c.imM 1 Reply Last reply
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