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  3. This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

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  • oli@olifant.socialO This user is from outside of this forum
    oli@olifant.socialO This user is from outside of this forum
    oli@olifant.social
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #52

    @ApostateEnglishman @alice Apologies for boosting that excellence out of context.

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

      This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

      - boob wash
      - water-park ride
      - options menu
      - multiplayer select

      - volume control
      - channel selector
      - smoking instructions?

      I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

      sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
      sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
      sassinake@mastodon.social
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #53

      @alice
      I am not flooding my bits with anything coming OUT of the loo.

      Nope.

      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA morton@kolektiva.socialM 2 Replies Last reply
      0
      • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

        This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

        - boob wash
        - water-park ride
        - options menu
        - multiplayer select

        - volume control
        - channel selector
        - smoking instructions?

        I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

        autisticplushy@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
        autisticplushy@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
        autisticplushy@lgbtqia.space
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #54

        @alice japanese style wash

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
          alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
          alice@lgbtqia.space
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #55

          @AnachronistJohn it's Beth McCarthy's "Hot and Stupid" cover art.

          They're one of my favorite artists.

          @lukeharby

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
            alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
            alice@lgbtqia.space
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #56

            @achim I just swear a lot at the wall box.

            achim@mastodon.weindl.bizA 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
              alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
              alice@lgbtqia.space
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #57

              @aizuchi "Wipe Out"

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • acb@mastodon.socialA acb@mastodon.social

                @alice Doesn’t the smoking button control the degree of extension of a thing sort of like the toilet equivalent of the Xenomorph’s secondary mouth in Alien, only for nether-parts water spraying?

                alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                alice@lgbtqia.space
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #58

                @acb either that, or it's IKEA-style instructions for a magic wand.

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                  @enbypirate not yet, but I'm sure I will in the end.

                  bcasiello@floss.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                  bcasiello@floss.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                  bcasiello@floss.social
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #59

                  @enbypirate @alice So to speak.

                  dacmot@sunny.gardenD 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • sassinake@mastodon.socialS sassinake@mastodon.social

                    @alice
                    I am not flooding my bits with anything coming OUT of the loo.

                    Nope.

                    alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                    alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                    alice@lgbtqia.space
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #60

                    @Sassinake they use clean water from a separate spout, it's not like a geyser of used toilet water 😂

                    sassinake@mastodon.socialS 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                      @Sassinake they use clean water from a separate spout, it's not like a geyser of used toilet water 😂

                      sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                      sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                      sassinake@mastodon.social
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #61

                      @alice

                      but what if someone shits on the spout? How clean can it be?

                      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • lispi314@udongein.xyzL lispi314@udongein.xyz
                        @alice @lukeharby Some of them are an entirely separate showerhead-looking thing on a flexible hose hung on a hook near the wall and likewise simply connected to water mains.
                        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                        alice@lgbtqia.space
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #62

                        @lispi314 never used one like that before, but I have an after-market add-on one on my toilet at home, and it's lovely (except in winter when it literally freezes your bits off, but it's a better wake-me-up than espresso).

                        @lukeharby

                        lispi314@udongein.xyzL 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                          This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                          - boob wash
                          - water-park ride
                          - options menu
                          - multiplayer select

                          - volume control
                          - channel selector
                          - smoking instructions?

                          I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                          E This user is from outside of this forum
                          E This user is from outside of this forum
                          esoteric_programmer@social.stealthy.club
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #63

                          @alice multiplayer what? hang on, that means it can be controlled by multiple people at the same time?

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • sassinake@mastodon.socialS sassinake@mastodon.social

                            @alice

                            but what if someone shits on the spout? How clean can it be?

                            alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                            alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                            alice@lgbtqia.space
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #64

                            @Sassinake you'd have to be a gymnast to do that, plus all the ones I've used are self-washing, and some retract completely until you're ready to use them.

                            alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                              This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                              - boob wash
                              - water-park ride
                              - options menu
                              - multiplayer select

                              - volume control
                              - channel selector
                              - smoking instructions?

                              I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                              benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                              benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                              benroyce@mastodon.social
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #65

                              @alice

                              "options menu"

                              common error

                              if you look carefully the button clearly indicates "contemplate the passage of time on the timescale of geological layers." the button means you want to be undisturbed for a bit

                              which is what we do while sitting on the toilet

                              or at least i do, don't call me out

                              isn't this the root behavior and linguistic source of the word "analysis"?

                              🤭

                              viq@social.hackerspace.plV acb@mastodon.socialA 2 Replies Last reply
                              0
                              • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                @Sassinake you'd have to be a gymnast to do that, plus all the ones I've used are self-washing, and some retract completely until you're ready to use them.

                                alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                alice@lgbtqia.space
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #66

                                @Sassinake I wouldn't drink out of it like a water fountain, but it's cleaner than most butts are after pooping 💁🏼‍♀️

                                sassinake@mastodon.socialS 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

                                  @alice

                                  "options menu"

                                  common error

                                  if you look carefully the button clearly indicates "contemplate the passage of time on the timescale of geological layers." the button means you want to be undisturbed for a bit

                                  which is what we do while sitting on the toilet

                                  or at least i do, don't call me out

                                  isn't this the root behavior and linguistic source of the word "analysis"?

                                  🤭

                                  viq@social.hackerspace.plV This user is from outside of this forum
                                  viq@social.hackerspace.plV This user is from outside of this forum
                                  viq@social.hackerspace.pl
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #67

                                  @benroyce
                                  "While contributing to creation of said layers" 😂
                                  @alice

                                  benroyce@mastodon.socialB 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                    @Sassinake I wouldn't drink out of it like a water fountain, but it's cleaner than most butts are after pooping 💁🏼‍♀️

                                    sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                    sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                    sassinake@mastodon.social
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #68

                                    @alice

                                    Well, my disgust/apprehension is moot anyway.

                                    We don't have them in Canada, and it doesn't look like I'll be travelling anytime soon...

                                    benroyce@mastodon.socialB endlessmason@hachyderm.ioE 2 Replies Last reply
                                    0
                                    • viq@social.hackerspace.plV viq@social.hackerspace.pl

                                      @benroyce
                                      "While contributing to creation of said layers" 😂
                                      @alice

                                      benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                      benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                      benroyce@mastodon.social
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #69

                                      @viq @alice

                                      just a little archeological contribution

                                      🤭

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                        @lispi314 never used one like that before, but I have an after-market add-on one on my toilet at home, and it's lovely (except in winter when it literally freezes your bits off, but it's a better wake-me-up than espresso).

                                        @lukeharby

                                        lispi314@udongein.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
                                        lispi314@udongein.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
                                        lispi314@udongein.xyz
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #70

                                        @alice@lgbtqia.space @lukeharby@infosec.exchange In my country, cold mains water is a basic fact of winter, so I got myself one that also had a hot water hookup.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                          @achim I just swear a lot at the wall box.

                                          achim@mastodon.weindl.bizA This user is from outside of this forum
                                          achim@mastodon.weindl.bizA This user is from outside of this forum
                                          achim@mastodon.weindl.biz
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #71

                                          @alice

                                          Ah, the John Spartan method 🙃

                                          1 Reply Last reply
                                          0
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