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FARVEL BIG TECH
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  3. This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

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  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
    alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
    alice@lgbtqia.space
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #56

    @achim I just swear a lot at the wall box.

    achim@mastodon.weindl.bizA 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
      alice@lgbtqia.space
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #57

      @aizuchi "Wipe Out"

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • acb@mastodon.socialA acb@mastodon.social

        @alice Doesn’t the smoking button control the degree of extension of a thing sort of like the toilet equivalent of the Xenomorph’s secondary mouth in Alien, only for nether-parts water spraying?

        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
        alice@lgbtqia.space
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #58

        @acb either that, or it's IKEA-style instructions for a magic wand.

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

          @enbypirate not yet, but I'm sure I will in the end.

          bcasiello@floss.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
          bcasiello@floss.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
          bcasiello@floss.social
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #59

          @enbypirate @alice So to speak.

          dacmot@sunny.gardenD 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • sassinake@mastodon.socialS sassinake@mastodon.social

            @alice
            I am not flooding my bits with anything coming OUT of the loo.

            Nope.

            alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
            alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
            alice@lgbtqia.space
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #60

            @Sassinake they use clean water from a separate spout, it's not like a geyser of used toilet water 😂

            sassinake@mastodon.socialS 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

              @Sassinake they use clean water from a separate spout, it's not like a geyser of used toilet water 😂

              sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
              sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
              sassinake@mastodon.social
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #61

              @alice

              but what if someone shits on the spout? How clean can it be?

              alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • lispi314@udongein.xyzL lispi314@udongein.xyz
                @alice @lukeharby Some of them are an entirely separate showerhead-looking thing on a flexible hose hung on a hook near the wall and likewise simply connected to water mains.
                alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                alice@lgbtqia.space
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #62

                @lispi314 never used one like that before, but I have an after-market add-on one on my toilet at home, and it's lovely (except in winter when it literally freezes your bits off, but it's a better wake-me-up than espresso).

                @lukeharby

                lispi314@udongein.xyzL 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                  This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                  - boob wash
                  - water-park ride
                  - options menu
                  - multiplayer select

                  - volume control
                  - channel selector
                  - smoking instructions?

                  I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                  E This user is from outside of this forum
                  E This user is from outside of this forum
                  esoteric_programmer@social.stealthy.club
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #63

                  @alice multiplayer what? hang on, that means it can be controlled by multiple people at the same time?

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • sassinake@mastodon.socialS sassinake@mastodon.social

                    @alice

                    but what if someone shits on the spout? How clean can it be?

                    alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                    alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                    alice@lgbtqia.space
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #64

                    @Sassinake you'd have to be a gymnast to do that, plus all the ones I've used are self-washing, and some retract completely until you're ready to use them.

                    alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                      This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                      - boob wash
                      - water-park ride
                      - options menu
                      - multiplayer select

                      - volume control
                      - channel selector
                      - smoking instructions?

                      I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                      benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                      benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                      benroyce@mastodon.social
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #65

                      @alice

                      "options menu"

                      common error

                      if you look carefully the button clearly indicates "contemplate the passage of time on the timescale of geological layers." the button means you want to be undisturbed for a bit

                      which is what we do while sitting on the toilet

                      or at least i do, don't call me out

                      isn't this the root behavior and linguistic source of the word "analysis"?

                      🤭

                      viq@social.hackerspace.plV acb@mastodon.socialA 2 Replies Last reply
                      0
                      • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                        @Sassinake you'd have to be a gymnast to do that, plus all the ones I've used are self-washing, and some retract completely until you're ready to use them.

                        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                        alice@lgbtqia.space
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #66

                        @Sassinake I wouldn't drink out of it like a water fountain, but it's cleaner than most butts are after pooping 💁🏼‍♀️

                        sassinake@mastodon.socialS 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

                          @alice

                          "options menu"

                          common error

                          if you look carefully the button clearly indicates "contemplate the passage of time on the timescale of geological layers." the button means you want to be undisturbed for a bit

                          which is what we do while sitting on the toilet

                          or at least i do, don't call me out

                          isn't this the root behavior and linguistic source of the word "analysis"?

                          🤭

                          viq@social.hackerspace.plV This user is from outside of this forum
                          viq@social.hackerspace.plV This user is from outside of this forum
                          viq@social.hackerspace.pl
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #67

                          @benroyce
                          "While contributing to creation of said layers" 😂
                          @alice

                          benroyce@mastodon.socialB 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                            @Sassinake I wouldn't drink out of it like a water fountain, but it's cleaner than most butts are after pooping 💁🏼‍♀️

                            sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                            sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                            sassinake@mastodon.social
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #68

                            @alice

                            Well, my disgust/apprehension is moot anyway.

                            We don't have them in Canada, and it doesn't look like I'll be travelling anytime soon...

                            benroyce@mastodon.socialB endlessmason@hachyderm.ioE 2 Replies Last reply
                            0
                            • viq@social.hackerspace.plV viq@social.hackerspace.pl

                              @benroyce
                              "While contributing to creation of said layers" 😂
                              @alice

                              benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                              benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                              benroyce@mastodon.social
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #69

                              @viq @alice

                              just a little archeological contribution

                              🤭

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                @lispi314 never used one like that before, but I have an after-market add-on one on my toilet at home, and it's lovely (except in winter when it literally freezes your bits off, but it's a better wake-me-up than espresso).

                                @lukeharby

                                lispi314@udongein.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
                                lispi314@udongein.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
                                lispi314@udongein.xyz
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #70

                                @alice@lgbtqia.space @lukeharby@infosec.exchange In my country, cold mains water is a basic fact of winter, so I got myself one that also had a hot water hookup.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                  @achim I just swear a lot at the wall box.

                                  achim@mastodon.weindl.bizA This user is from outside of this forum
                                  achim@mastodon.weindl.bizA This user is from outside of this forum
                                  achim@mastodon.weindl.biz
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #71

                                  @alice

                                  Ah, the John Spartan method 🙃

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                    This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                                    - boob wash
                                    - water-park ride
                                    - options menu
                                    - multiplayer select

                                    - volume control
                                    - channel selector
                                    - smoking instructions?

                                    I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                                    katzenberger@tldr.nettime.orgK This user is from outside of this forum
                                    katzenberger@tldr.nettime.orgK This user is from outside of this forum
                                    katzenberger@tldr.nettime.org
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #72

                                    @alice

                                    There must be a reason why you stayed silent about the Toto football bets button?

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                      This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                                      - boob wash
                                      - water-park ride
                                      - options menu
                                      - multiplayer select

                                      - volume control
                                      - channel selector
                                      - smoking instructions?

                                      I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                                      gimulnautti@mastodon.greenG This user is from outside of this forum
                                      gimulnautti@mastodon.greenG This user is from outside of this forum
                                      gimulnautti@mastodon.green
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #73

                                      @alice Japanese toilets 😊

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • sassinake@mastodon.socialS sassinake@mastodon.social

                                        @alice

                                        Well, my disgust/apprehension is moot anyway.

                                        We don't have them in Canada, and it doesn't look like I'll be travelling anytime soon...

                                        benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                        benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                        benroyce@mastodon.social
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #74

                                        @Sassinake @alice

                                        i don't know about canada, but in the usa bidets are having an uptick in popularity

                                        they leave you cleaner than toilet paper, and it's a better experience

                                        toilet paper is never going away. i wouldn't use a bidet in a public rest room, that's for damn sure. but at home?

                                        while europe/ japan/ etc looks with confusion and befuddlement at our in-sink garbage disposal, they're walking around with cleaner bums

                                        but let's not get into the dutch poop shelf

                                        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS space_burger_steve@mstdn.caS gentlemantech@cyberplace.socialG samanthajanesmith@lgbtqia.spaceS 5 Replies Last reply
                                        0
                                        • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

                                          @Sassinake @alice

                                          i don't know about canada, but in the usa bidets are having an uptick in popularity

                                          they leave you cleaner than toilet paper, and it's a better experience

                                          toilet paper is never going away. i wouldn't use a bidet in a public rest room, that's for damn sure. but at home?

                                          while europe/ japan/ etc looks with confusion and befuddlement at our in-sink garbage disposal, they're walking around with cleaner bums

                                          but let's not get into the dutch poop shelf

                                          alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                          alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                          alice@lgbtqia.space
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #75

                                          @benroyce bidets are great, but if you don't have one, I recommend that fancy toilet paper that turns red when you've wiped enough.

                                          @Sassinake

                                          perrin42@mastodon.socialP benroyce@mastodon.socialB jrdepriest@infosec.exchangeJ colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.networkC 4 Replies Last reply
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