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  3. This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

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  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

    This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

    - boob wash
    - water-park ride
    - options menu
    - multiplayer select

    - volume control
    - channel selector
    - smoking instructions?

    I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

    E This user is from outside of this forum
    E This user is from outside of this forum
    esoteric_programmer@social.stealthy.club
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #63

    @alice multiplayer what? hang on, that means it can be controlled by multiple people at the same time?

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • sassinake@mastodon.socialS sassinake@mastodon.social

      @alice

      but what if someone shits on the spout? How clean can it be?

      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
      alice@lgbtqia.space
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #64

      @Sassinake you'd have to be a gymnast to do that, plus all the ones I've used are self-washing, and some retract completely until you're ready to use them.

      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

        This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

        - boob wash
        - water-park ride
        - options menu
        - multiplayer select

        - volume control
        - channel selector
        - smoking instructions?

        I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

        benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
        benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
        benroyce@mastodon.social
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #65

        @alice

        "options menu"

        common error

        if you look carefully the button clearly indicates "contemplate the passage of time on the timescale of geological layers." the button means you want to be undisturbed for a bit

        which is what we do while sitting on the toilet

        or at least i do, don't call me out

        isn't this the root behavior and linguistic source of the word "analysis"?

        🤭

        viq@social.hackerspace.plV acb@mastodon.socialA 2 Replies Last reply
        0
        • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

          @Sassinake you'd have to be a gymnast to do that, plus all the ones I've used are self-washing, and some retract completely until you're ready to use them.

          alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
          alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
          alice@lgbtqia.space
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #66

          @Sassinake I wouldn't drink out of it like a water fountain, but it's cleaner than most butts are after pooping 💁🏼‍♀️

          sassinake@mastodon.socialS 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

            @alice

            "options menu"

            common error

            if you look carefully the button clearly indicates "contemplate the passage of time on the timescale of geological layers." the button means you want to be undisturbed for a bit

            which is what we do while sitting on the toilet

            or at least i do, don't call me out

            isn't this the root behavior and linguistic source of the word "analysis"?

            🤭

            viq@social.hackerspace.plV This user is from outside of this forum
            viq@social.hackerspace.plV This user is from outside of this forum
            viq@social.hackerspace.pl
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #67

            @benroyce
            "While contributing to creation of said layers" 😂
            @alice

            benroyce@mastodon.socialB 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

              @Sassinake I wouldn't drink out of it like a water fountain, but it's cleaner than most butts are after pooping 💁🏼‍♀️

              sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
              sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
              sassinake@mastodon.social
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #68

              @alice

              Well, my disgust/apprehension is moot anyway.

              We don't have them in Canada, and it doesn't look like I'll be travelling anytime soon...

              benroyce@mastodon.socialB endlessmason@hachyderm.ioE 2 Replies Last reply
              0
              • viq@social.hackerspace.plV viq@social.hackerspace.pl

                @benroyce
                "While contributing to creation of said layers" 😂
                @alice

                benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                benroyce@mastodon.social
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #69

                @viq @alice

                just a little archeological contribution

                🤭

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                  @lispi314 never used one like that before, but I have an after-market add-on one on my toilet at home, and it's lovely (except in winter when it literally freezes your bits off, but it's a better wake-me-up than espresso).

                  @lukeharby

                  lispi314@udongein.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
                  lispi314@udongein.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
                  lispi314@udongein.xyz
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #70

                  @alice@lgbtqia.space @lukeharby@infosec.exchange In my country, cold mains water is a basic fact of winter, so I got myself one that also had a hot water hookup.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                    @achim I just swear a lot at the wall box.

                    achim@mastodon.weindl.bizA This user is from outside of this forum
                    achim@mastodon.weindl.bizA This user is from outside of this forum
                    achim@mastodon.weindl.biz
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #71

                    @alice

                    Ah, the John Spartan method 🙃

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                      This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                      - boob wash
                      - water-park ride
                      - options menu
                      - multiplayer select

                      - volume control
                      - channel selector
                      - smoking instructions?

                      I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                      katzenberger@tldr.nettime.orgK This user is from outside of this forum
                      katzenberger@tldr.nettime.orgK This user is from outside of this forum
                      katzenberger@tldr.nettime.org
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #72

                      @alice

                      There must be a reason why you stayed silent about the Toto football bets button?

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                        This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                        - boob wash
                        - water-park ride
                        - options menu
                        - multiplayer select

                        - volume control
                        - channel selector
                        - smoking instructions?

                        I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                        gimulnautti@mastodon.greenG This user is from outside of this forum
                        gimulnautti@mastodon.greenG This user is from outside of this forum
                        gimulnautti@mastodon.green
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #73

                        @alice Japanese toilets 😊

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • sassinake@mastodon.socialS sassinake@mastodon.social

                          @alice

                          Well, my disgust/apprehension is moot anyway.

                          We don't have them in Canada, and it doesn't look like I'll be travelling anytime soon...

                          benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                          benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                          benroyce@mastodon.social
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #74

                          @Sassinake @alice

                          i don't know about canada, but in the usa bidets are having an uptick in popularity

                          they leave you cleaner than toilet paper, and it's a better experience

                          toilet paper is never going away. i wouldn't use a bidet in a public rest room, that's for damn sure. but at home?

                          while europe/ japan/ etc looks with confusion and befuddlement at our in-sink garbage disposal, they're walking around with cleaner bums

                          but let's not get into the dutch poop shelf

                          alice@lgbtqia.spaceA sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS space_burger_steve@mstdn.caS gentlemantech@cyberplace.socialG samanthajanesmith@lgbtqia.spaceS 5 Replies Last reply
                          0
                          • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

                            @Sassinake @alice

                            i don't know about canada, but in the usa bidets are having an uptick in popularity

                            they leave you cleaner than toilet paper, and it's a better experience

                            toilet paper is never going away. i wouldn't use a bidet in a public rest room, that's for damn sure. but at home?

                            while europe/ japan/ etc looks with confusion and befuddlement at our in-sink garbage disposal, they're walking around with cleaner bums

                            but let's not get into the dutch poop shelf

                            alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                            alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                            alice@lgbtqia.space
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #75

                            @benroyce bidets are great, but if you don't have one, I recommend that fancy toilet paper that turns red when you've wiped enough.

                            @Sassinake

                            perrin42@mastodon.socialP benroyce@mastodon.socialB jrdepriest@infosec.exchangeJ colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.networkC 4 Replies Last reply
                            0
                            • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                              This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                              - boob wash
                              - water-park ride
                              - options menu
                              - multiplayer select

                              - volume control
                              - channel selector
                              - smoking instructions?

                              I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                              sleepycatten@cultofshiv.wtfS This user is from outside of this forum
                              sleepycatten@cultofshiv.wtfS This user is from outside of this forum
                              sleepycatten@cultofshiv.wtf
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #76

                              @alice Boob wash 🤭

                              alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                @benroyce bidets are great, but if you don't have one, I recommend that fancy toilet paper that turns red when you've wiped enough.

                                @Sassinake

                                perrin42@mastodon.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
                                perrin42@mastodon.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
                                perrin42@mastodon.social
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #77

                                @alice @benroyce @Sassinake

                                OMG, that is so bad. 🤣🤣🤣

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                  @benroyce bidets are great, but if you don't have one, I recommend that fancy toilet paper that turns red when you've wiped enough.

                                  @Sassinake

                                  benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                  benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                  benroyce@mastodon.social
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #78

                                  @alice @Sassinake

                                  i don't know that brand...

                                  ohhh

                                  😵‍💫

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                    This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                                    - boob wash
                                    - water-park ride
                                    - options menu
                                    - multiplayer select

                                    - volume control
                                    - channel selector
                                    - smoking instructions?

                                    I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                                    diz@thegayagenda.fansD This user is from outside of this forum
                                    diz@thegayagenda.fansD This user is from outside of this forum
                                    diz@thegayagenda.fans
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #79

                                    @alice@lgbtqia.space woozy hamburger menu ​​

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • sleepycatten@cultofshiv.wtfS sleepycatten@cultofshiv.wtf

                                      @alice Boob wash 🤭

                                      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                      alice@lgbtqia.space
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #80

                                      @SleepyCatten tell me that's not the motorboat button 🤷🏼‍♀️

                                      sleepycatten@cultofshiv.wtfS 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                        @benroyce bidets are great, but if you don't have one, I recommend that fancy toilet paper that turns red when you've wiped enough.

                                        @Sassinake

                                        jrdepriest@infosec.exchangeJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                        jrdepriest@infosec.exchangeJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                        jrdepriest@infosec.exchange
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #81

                                        @alice @benroyce @Sassinake

                                        At a hemorrhoid haver, I feel this one.

                                        We buy wet wipes in bulk.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

                                          @Sassinake @alice

                                          i don't know about canada, but in the usa bidets are having an uptick in popularity

                                          they leave you cleaner than toilet paper, and it's a better experience

                                          toilet paper is never going away. i wouldn't use a bidet in a public rest room, that's for damn sure. but at home?

                                          while europe/ japan/ etc looks with confusion and befuddlement at our in-sink garbage disposal, they're walking around with cleaner bums

                                          but let's not get into the dutch poop shelf

                                          sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS This user is from outside of this forum
                                          sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS This user is from outside of this forum
                                          sandorspruit@mastodon.nl
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #82

                                          @benroyce @Sassinake @alice Euh, I am going to regret asking this but, euh, what’s a Dutch poop shelf? 🤔😬

                                          benroyce@mastodon.socialB 1 Reply Last reply
                                          0
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