This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
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@alice @lukeharby Some of them are an entirely separate showerhead-looking thing on a flexible hose hung on a hook near the wall and likewise simply connected to water mains.
@lispi314 @lukeharby @alice we had a diaper sprayer on our toilet when the kids were in diapers. A lot of people thought it was a bidet. (Which it probably would have worked for if anyone wanted to have a go with it.)
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@AnachronistJohn @alice @nina_kali_nina
Tom Sawyer.
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@bthylafh @alice @nina_kali_nina
Badger Badger Badger
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@slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice
because you don't have worms like our ancestors did. with that insight, what a blessed time we live in (in some regards)
@benroyce @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice this reminds me of an interesting documentary on the effect of the hookworm for people in the US South, where they became known as stupid and lazy from the lethargic and mindfog effects of their infection:
https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/article/how-a-worm-gave-the-south-a-bad-name/
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@benroyce @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice this reminds me of an interesting documentary on the effect of the hookworm for people in the US South, where they became known as stupid and lazy from the lethargic and mindfog effects of their infection:
https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/article/how-a-worm-gave-the-south-a-bad-name/
@suzannealdrich @benroyce @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice I learned about the poop knife recently.
With that being said, I would like to get an actual bidet, not just the attachment you add to a regular toilet.
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@SleepyCatten tell me that's not the motorboat button

️We definitely shouldn't be considered any kind of expert on deciphering symbols

Nor would we seek to tell somebody else that their interpretation of signs is wrong.
If we told you what we see those as, it would tell you a lot about how our mind works


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@suzannealdrich @benroyce @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice I learned about the poop knife recently.
With that being said, I would like to get an actual bidet, not just the attachment you add to a regular toilet.
@macacator @suzannealdrich @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice
the toilet attachment is easy and cheap
a whole damn bidet means big $$$ and it assumes you have a massive bathroom
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This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
@alice I will admit, I always wanted one of those. Toilets, I mean.
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This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
@alice@lgbtqia.space uh nice it even got the "we're not in Kansas anymore" aka "follow the yellow piss road" mode on the Toto button
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@suzannealdrich @benroyce @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice I learned about the poop knife recently.
With that being said, I would like to get an actual bidet, not just the attachment you add to a regular toilet.
@macacator wait, hol' up...poop knife?
You can't just drop that deuce and walk away without an explanation!
@suzannealdrich @benroyce @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake
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@alice I will admit, I always wanted one of those. Toilets, I mean.
@thepurpleoctopus as someone who grew up with an outhouse, I can highly recommend indoor plumbing.
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@thepurpleoctopus as someone who grew up with an outhouse, I can highly recommend indoor plumbing.
@alice Got me there. But I mean specifically one of these fancy ones.

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@alice I think volume control relates to pressure. The louder you set it, the more likely it is to jet wash your arsehole in two.
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This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
@alice Thank you for turning this example of "universally-understandable iconography that averts language issues" into such a fun post!

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This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
…at my times we had only three shells …!
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This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
@alice That is a nice simple control panel you have there. First trip to Tokyo, there were 3 control panels, it felt like piloting a 747...
Took a couple of days to work out all the options. -
@macacator wait, hol' up...poop knife?
You can't just drop that deuce and walk away without an explanation!
@suzannealdrich @benroyce @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake
@alice @suzannealdrich @benroyce @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake sometimes, when you ate one too many potatoes, your body will churn out a recycled burrito the size of a Sam's club sausage. You look at it in its unbroken abomination and wonder how you're going to flush that bad boy.
/the poop knife has entered the chat
You grab that knife, reach on down there and turn that sausage log into a sushi roll with a few swift chops. Now you can safely flush using that bucket you poured earlier.
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Well, my disgust/apprehension is moot anyway.
We don't have them in Canada, and it doesn't look like I'll be travelling anytime soon...
@Sassinake @alice
This one is fifty loonies. It doesn't heat the water or noth'n, but it's a start and you can take it with you when you move.https://www.amazon.ca/PIKETS-butt-fountain/dp/B09QPDWXWC?affiliate_id=nah+this+is+fedi+lmao
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@ColesStreetPothole @Sassinake @alice
you're both right
1. it's easier and cheaper than ever before to install a bidet on your toilet
2. bidets are until very recently associated with the class divide
@benroyce @ColesStreetPothole @Sassinake @alice
The best bidets need electrical power, for example to heat the water and to air dry. That’s the challenge for broad use, as most houses won’t have power outlets near a toilet.
