This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
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@alice
I am not flooding my bits with anything coming OUT of the loo.Nope.
@Sassinake they use clean water from a separate spout, it's not like a geyser of used toilet water

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@Sassinake they use clean water from a separate spout, it's not like a geyser of used toilet water

but what if someone shits on the spout? How clean can it be?
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@alice @lukeharby Some of them are an entirely separate showerhead-looking thing on a flexible hose hung on a hook near the wall and likewise simply connected to water mains.
@lispi314 never used one like that before, but I have an after-market add-on one on my toilet at home, and it's lovely (except in winter when it literally freezes your bits off, but it's a better wake-me-up than espresso).
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This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
@alice multiplayer what? hang on, that means it can be controlled by multiple people at the same time?
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but what if someone shits on the spout? How clean can it be?
@Sassinake you'd have to be a gymnast to do that, plus all the ones I've used are self-washing, and some retract completely until you're ready to use them.
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This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
"options menu"
common error
if you look carefully the button clearly indicates "contemplate the passage of time on the timescale of geological layers." the button means you want to be undisturbed for a bit
which is what we do while sitting on the toilet
or at least i do, don't call me out
isn't this the root behavior and linguistic source of the word "analysis"?
🤭
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@Sassinake you'd have to be a gymnast to do that, plus all the ones I've used are self-washing, and some retract completely until you're ready to use them.
@Sassinake I wouldn't drink out of it like a water fountain, but it's cleaner than most butts are after pooping

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"options menu"
common error
if you look carefully the button clearly indicates "contemplate the passage of time on the timescale of geological layers." the button means you want to be undisturbed for a bit
which is what we do while sitting on the toilet
or at least i do, don't call me out
isn't this the root behavior and linguistic source of the word "analysis"?
🤭
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@Sassinake I wouldn't drink out of it like a water fountain, but it's cleaner than most butts are after pooping

️Well, my disgust/apprehension is moot anyway.
We don't have them in Canada, and it doesn't look like I'll be travelling anytime soon...
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@lispi314 never used one like that before, but I have an after-market add-on one on my toilet at home, and it's lovely (except in winter when it literally freezes your bits off, but it's a better wake-me-up than espresso).
@alice@lgbtqia.space @lukeharby@infosec.exchange In my country, cold mains water is a basic fact of winter, so I got myself one that also had a hot water hookup.
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@achim I just swear a lot at the wall box.
Ah, the John Spartan method

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This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
There must be a reason why you stayed silent about the Toto football bets button?
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This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
@alice Japanese toilets

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Well, my disgust/apprehension is moot anyway.
We don't have them in Canada, and it doesn't look like I'll be travelling anytime soon...
i don't know about canada, but in the usa bidets are having an uptick in popularity
they leave you cleaner than toilet paper, and it's a better experience
toilet paper is never going away. i wouldn't use a bidet in a public rest room, that's for damn sure. but at home?
while europe/ japan/ etc looks with confusion and befuddlement at our in-sink garbage disposal, they're walking around with cleaner bums
but let's not get into the dutch poop shelf
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i don't know about canada, but in the usa bidets are having an uptick in popularity
they leave you cleaner than toilet paper, and it's a better experience
toilet paper is never going away. i wouldn't use a bidet in a public rest room, that's for damn sure. but at home?
while europe/ japan/ etc looks with confusion and befuddlement at our in-sink garbage disposal, they're walking around with cleaner bums
but let's not get into the dutch poop shelf
@benroyce bidets are great, but if you don't have one, I recommend that fancy toilet paper that turns red when you've wiped enough.
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This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
@alice Boob wash 🤭
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@benroyce bidets are great, but if you don't have one, I recommend that fancy toilet paper that turns red when you've wiped enough.
OMG, that is so bad.



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@benroyce bidets are great, but if you don't have one, I recommend that fancy toilet paper that turns red when you've wiped enough.
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This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
@alice@lgbtqia.space woozy hamburger menu
