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  3. This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

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  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

    This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

    - boob wash
    - water-park ride
    - options menu
    - multiplayer select

    - volume control
    - channel selector
    - smoking instructions?

    I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

    katzenberger@tldr.nettime.orgK This user is from outside of this forum
    katzenberger@tldr.nettime.orgK This user is from outside of this forum
    katzenberger@tldr.nettime.org
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #72

    @alice

    There must be a reason why you stayed silent about the Toto football bets button?

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

      This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

      - boob wash
      - water-park ride
      - options menu
      - multiplayer select

      - volume control
      - channel selector
      - smoking instructions?

      I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

      gimulnautti@mastodon.greenG This user is from outside of this forum
      gimulnautti@mastodon.greenG This user is from outside of this forum
      gimulnautti@mastodon.green
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #73

      @alice Japanese toilets 😊

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • sassinake@mastodon.socialS sassinake@mastodon.social

        @alice

        Well, my disgust/apprehension is moot anyway.

        We don't have them in Canada, and it doesn't look like I'll be travelling anytime soon...

        benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
        benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
        benroyce@mastodon.social
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #74

        @Sassinake @alice

        i don't know about canada, but in the usa bidets are having an uptick in popularity

        they leave you cleaner than toilet paper, and it's a better experience

        toilet paper is never going away. i wouldn't use a bidet in a public rest room, that's for damn sure. but at home?

        while europe/ japan/ etc looks with confusion and befuddlement at our in-sink garbage disposal, they're walking around with cleaner bums

        but let's not get into the dutch poop shelf

        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS space_burger_steve@mstdn.caS gentlemantech@cyberplace.socialG samanthajanesmith@lgbtqia.spaceS 5 Replies Last reply
        0
        • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

          @Sassinake @alice

          i don't know about canada, but in the usa bidets are having an uptick in popularity

          they leave you cleaner than toilet paper, and it's a better experience

          toilet paper is never going away. i wouldn't use a bidet in a public rest room, that's for damn sure. but at home?

          while europe/ japan/ etc looks with confusion and befuddlement at our in-sink garbage disposal, they're walking around with cleaner bums

          but let's not get into the dutch poop shelf

          alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
          alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
          alice@lgbtqia.space
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #75

          @benroyce bidets are great, but if you don't have one, I recommend that fancy toilet paper that turns red when you've wiped enough.

          @Sassinake

          perrin42@mastodon.socialP benroyce@mastodon.socialB jrdepriest@infosec.exchangeJ colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.networkC 4 Replies Last reply
          0
          • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

            This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

            - boob wash
            - water-park ride
            - options menu
            - multiplayer select

            - volume control
            - channel selector
            - smoking instructions?

            I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

            sleepycatten@cultofshiv.wtfS This user is from outside of this forum
            sleepycatten@cultofshiv.wtfS This user is from outside of this forum
            sleepycatten@cultofshiv.wtf
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #76

            @alice Boob wash 🤭

            alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

              @benroyce bidets are great, but if you don't have one, I recommend that fancy toilet paper that turns red when you've wiped enough.

              @Sassinake

              perrin42@mastodon.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
              perrin42@mastodon.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
              perrin42@mastodon.social
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #77

              @alice @benroyce @Sassinake

              OMG, that is so bad. 🤣🤣🤣

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                @benroyce bidets are great, but if you don't have one, I recommend that fancy toilet paper that turns red when you've wiped enough.

                @Sassinake

                benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                benroyce@mastodon.social
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #78

                @alice @Sassinake

                i don't know that brand...

                ohhh

                😵‍💫

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                  This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                  - boob wash
                  - water-park ride
                  - options menu
                  - multiplayer select

                  - volume control
                  - channel selector
                  - smoking instructions?

                  I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                  diz@thegayagenda.fansD This user is from outside of this forum
                  diz@thegayagenda.fansD This user is from outside of this forum
                  diz@thegayagenda.fans
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #79

                  @alice@lgbtqia.space woozy hamburger menu ​​

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • sleepycatten@cultofshiv.wtfS sleepycatten@cultofshiv.wtf

                    @alice Boob wash 🤭

                    alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                    alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                    alice@lgbtqia.space
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #80

                    @SleepyCatten tell me that's not the motorboat button 🤷🏼‍♀️

                    sleepycatten@cultofshiv.wtfS 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                      @benroyce bidets are great, but if you don't have one, I recommend that fancy toilet paper that turns red when you've wiped enough.

                      @Sassinake

                      jrdepriest@infosec.exchangeJ This user is from outside of this forum
                      jrdepriest@infosec.exchangeJ This user is from outside of this forum
                      jrdepriest@infosec.exchange
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #81

                      @alice @benroyce @Sassinake

                      At a hemorrhoid haver, I feel this one.

                      We buy wet wipes in bulk.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

                        @Sassinake @alice

                        i don't know about canada, but in the usa bidets are having an uptick in popularity

                        they leave you cleaner than toilet paper, and it's a better experience

                        toilet paper is never going away. i wouldn't use a bidet in a public rest room, that's for damn sure. but at home?

                        while europe/ japan/ etc looks with confusion and befuddlement at our in-sink garbage disposal, they're walking around with cleaner bums

                        but let's not get into the dutch poop shelf

                        sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS This user is from outside of this forum
                        sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS This user is from outside of this forum
                        sandorspruit@mastodon.nl
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #82

                        @benroyce @Sassinake @alice Euh, I am going to regret asking this but, euh, what’s a Dutch poop shelf? 🤔😬

                        benroyce@mastodon.socialB 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                          This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                          - boob wash
                          - water-park ride
                          - options menu
                          - multiplayer select

                          - volume control
                          - channel selector
                          - smoking instructions?

                          I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                          joe@toot.worksJ This user is from outside of this forum
                          joe@toot.worksJ This user is from outside of this forum
                          joe@toot.works
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #83

                          @alice I used a bidet in a random burger place that had "Stop button doesn't work. Flush to stop." written in english above the controls. It makes me wonder what happened before they printed that label.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                            alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                            alice@lgbtqia.space
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #84

                            @1000millimeter the boob wash is for everyone with a butt, and the water park is for vagina-owners.

                            @mercurial

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS sandorspruit@mastodon.nl

                              @benroyce @Sassinake @alice Euh, I am going to regret asking this but, euh, what’s a Dutch poop shelf? 🤔😬

                              benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                              benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                              benroyce@mastodon.social
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #85

                              @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice

                              people would want to look at their poop for health reasons. so you poop on a shelf in the bowl for inspection

                              it's fading away, it's mostly historical and a curiousity nowadays in old houses. new builds in the netherlands don't have it. and it's not unique to the netherlands

                              sassinake@mastodon.socialS alice@lgbtqia.spaceA morton@kolektiva.socialM 3 Replies Last reply
                              0
                              • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                                - boob wash
                                - water-park ride
                                - options menu
                                - multiplayer select

                                - volume control
                                - channel selector
                                - smoking instructions?

                                I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                                simonwilliamson@mastodon.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                                simonwilliamson@mastodon.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                                simonwilliamson@mastodon.world
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #86

                                @alice the third one looks like a fountain riding function, the next one a road (in case you want to go for a drive) and the last is for when you want to see a ghost.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                  This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                                  - boob wash
                                  - water-park ride
                                  - options menu
                                  - multiplayer select

                                  - volume control
                                  - channel selector
                                  - smoking instructions?

                                  I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                                  th@social.v.stT This user is from outside of this forum
                                  th@social.v.stT This user is from outside of this forum
                                  th@social.v.st
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #87

                                  @alice we added a label after a friend spent several minutes trying to turn off the water park ride

                                  alice@lgbtqia.spaceA msbellows@c.imM 2 Replies Last reply
                                  0
                                  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                    This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                                    - boob wash
                                    - water-park ride
                                    - options menu
                                    - multiplayer select

                                    - volume control
                                    - channel selector
                                    - smoking instructions?

                                    I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                                    iwillyeah@mastodon.ieI This user is from outside of this forum
                                    iwillyeah@mastodon.ieI This user is from outside of this forum
                                    iwillyeah@mastodon.ie
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #88

                                    @alice what happens you page the dude on the right? Or is that the button for buttplug installation?

                                    alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                      alice@lgbtqia.space
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #89

                                      @cynthiarose I read your reply, and for a brief moment was like "mine was a joke. That has to be a joke...right? Do half of men really wipe that hard with cheap toilet paper?"

                                      💁🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ (I can be dense sometimes)

                                      @benroyce @Sassinake

                                      benroyce@mastodon.socialB 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

                                        @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice

                                        people would want to look at their poop for health reasons. so you poop on a shelf in the bowl for inspection

                                        it's fading away, it's mostly historical and a curiousity nowadays in old houses. new builds in the netherlands don't have it. and it's not unique to the netherlands

                                        sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                        sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                        sassinake@mastodon.social
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #90

                                        @benroyce @sandorspruit @alice

                                        (why did I have to put my 2c in?)

                                        benroyce@mastodon.socialB alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 2 Replies Last reply
                                        0
                                        • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                          @cynthiarose I read your reply, and for a brief moment was like "mine was a joke. That has to be a joke...right? Do half of men really wipe that hard with cheap toilet paper?"

                                          💁🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ (I can be dense sometimes)

                                          @benroyce @Sassinake

                                          benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                          benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                          benroyce@mastodon.social
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #91

                                          @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake

                                          real men give themselves anal fissures!

                                          show the poop who is boss!

                                          if you're not wiping with sandpaper quality toilet paper you're WEAK!

                                          (/s)

                                          🥴

                                          sassinake@mastodon.socialS perrin42@mastodon.socialP a_minion@mastodon.socialA david@fouroclockfarms.clubD 4 Replies Last reply
                                          0
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