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  3. This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

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  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

    @benroyce bidets are great, but if you don't have one, I recommend that fancy toilet paper that turns red when you've wiped enough.

    @Sassinake

    benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
    benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
    benroyce@mastodon.social
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #78

    @alice @Sassinake

    i don't know that brand...

    ohhh

    😵‍💫

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

      This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

      - boob wash
      - water-park ride
      - options menu
      - multiplayer select

      - volume control
      - channel selector
      - smoking instructions?

      I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

      diz@thegayagenda.fansD This user is from outside of this forum
      diz@thegayagenda.fansD This user is from outside of this forum
      diz@thegayagenda.fans
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #79

      @alice@lgbtqia.space woozy hamburger menu ​​

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • sleepycatten@cultofshiv.wtfS sleepycatten@cultofshiv.wtf

        @alice Boob wash 🤭

        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
        alice@lgbtqia.space
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #80

        @SleepyCatten tell me that's not the motorboat button 🤷🏼‍♀️

        sleepycatten@cultofshiv.wtfS 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

          @benroyce bidets are great, but if you don't have one, I recommend that fancy toilet paper that turns red when you've wiped enough.

          @Sassinake

          jrdepriest@infosec.exchangeJ This user is from outside of this forum
          jrdepriest@infosec.exchangeJ This user is from outside of this forum
          jrdepriest@infosec.exchange
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #81

          @alice @benroyce @Sassinake

          At a hemorrhoid haver, I feel this one.

          We buy wet wipes in bulk.

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

            @Sassinake @alice

            i don't know about canada, but in the usa bidets are having an uptick in popularity

            they leave you cleaner than toilet paper, and it's a better experience

            toilet paper is never going away. i wouldn't use a bidet in a public rest room, that's for damn sure. but at home?

            while europe/ japan/ etc looks with confusion and befuddlement at our in-sink garbage disposal, they're walking around with cleaner bums

            but let's not get into the dutch poop shelf

            sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS This user is from outside of this forum
            sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS This user is from outside of this forum
            sandorspruit@mastodon.nl
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #82

            @benroyce @Sassinake @alice Euh, I am going to regret asking this but, euh, what’s a Dutch poop shelf? 🤔😬

            benroyce@mastodon.socialB 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

              This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

              - boob wash
              - water-park ride
              - options menu
              - multiplayer select

              - volume control
              - channel selector
              - smoking instructions?

              I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

              joe@toot.worksJ This user is from outside of this forum
              joe@toot.worksJ This user is from outside of this forum
              joe@toot.works
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #83

              @alice I used a bidet in a random burger place that had "Stop button doesn't work. Flush to stop." written in english above the controls. It makes me wonder what happened before they printed that label.

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                alice@lgbtqia.space
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #84

                @1000millimeter the boob wash is for everyone with a butt, and the water park is for vagina-owners.

                @mercurial

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS sandorspruit@mastodon.nl

                  @benroyce @Sassinake @alice Euh, I am going to regret asking this but, euh, what’s a Dutch poop shelf? 🤔😬

                  benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                  benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                  benroyce@mastodon.social
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #85

                  @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice

                  people would want to look at their poop for health reasons. so you poop on a shelf in the bowl for inspection

                  it's fading away, it's mostly historical and a curiousity nowadays in old houses. new builds in the netherlands don't have it. and it's not unique to the netherlands

                  sassinake@mastodon.socialS alice@lgbtqia.spaceA morton@kolektiva.socialM 3 Replies Last reply
                  0
                  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                    This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                    - boob wash
                    - water-park ride
                    - options menu
                    - multiplayer select

                    - volume control
                    - channel selector
                    - smoking instructions?

                    I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                    simonwilliamson@mastodon.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                    simonwilliamson@mastodon.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                    simonwilliamson@mastodon.world
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #86

                    @alice the third one looks like a fountain riding function, the next one a road (in case you want to go for a drive) and the last is for when you want to see a ghost.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                      This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                      - boob wash
                      - water-park ride
                      - options menu
                      - multiplayer select

                      - volume control
                      - channel selector
                      - smoking instructions?

                      I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                      th@social.v.stT This user is from outside of this forum
                      th@social.v.stT This user is from outside of this forum
                      th@social.v.st
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #87

                      @alice we added a label after a friend spent several minutes trying to turn off the water park ride

                      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA msbellows@c.imM 2 Replies Last reply
                      0
                      • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                        This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                        - boob wash
                        - water-park ride
                        - options menu
                        - multiplayer select

                        - volume control
                        - channel selector
                        - smoking instructions?

                        I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                        iwillyeah@mastodon.ieI This user is from outside of this forum
                        iwillyeah@mastodon.ieI This user is from outside of this forum
                        iwillyeah@mastodon.ie
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #88

                        @alice what happens you page the dude on the right? Or is that the button for buttplug installation?

                        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                          alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                          alice@lgbtqia.space
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #89

                          @cynthiarose I read your reply, and for a brief moment was like "mine was a joke. That has to be a joke...right? Do half of men really wipe that hard with cheap toilet paper?"

                          💁🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ (I can be dense sometimes)

                          @benroyce @Sassinake

                          benroyce@mastodon.socialB 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

                            @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice

                            people would want to look at their poop for health reasons. so you poop on a shelf in the bowl for inspection

                            it's fading away, it's mostly historical and a curiousity nowadays in old houses. new builds in the netherlands don't have it. and it's not unique to the netherlands

                            sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                            sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                            sassinake@mastodon.social
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #90

                            @benroyce @sandorspruit @alice

                            (why did I have to put my 2c in?)

                            benroyce@mastodon.socialB alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 2 Replies Last reply
                            0
                            • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                              @cynthiarose I read your reply, and for a brief moment was like "mine was a joke. That has to be a joke...right? Do half of men really wipe that hard with cheap toilet paper?"

                              💁🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ (I can be dense sometimes)

                              @benroyce @Sassinake

                              benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                              benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                              benroyce@mastodon.social
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #91

                              @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake

                              real men give themselves anal fissures!

                              show the poop who is boss!

                              if you're not wiping with sandpaper quality toilet paper you're WEAK!

                              (/s)

                              🥴

                              sassinake@mastodon.socialS perrin42@mastodon.socialP a_minion@mastodon.socialA david@fouroclockfarms.clubD 4 Replies Last reply
                              0
                              • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

                                @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice

                                people would want to look at their poop for health reasons. so you poop on a shelf in the bowl for inspection

                                it's fading away, it's mostly historical and a curiousity nowadays in old houses. new builds in the netherlands don't have it. and it's not unique to the netherlands

                                alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                alice@lgbtqia.space
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #92

                                @benroyce I'd never heard of that...

                                Huh, TIL 🤷🏼‍♀️

                                @sandorspruit @Sassinake

                                sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS alexadeswift@lgbtqia.spaceA 2 Replies Last reply
                                0
                                • th@social.v.stT th@social.v.st

                                  @alice we added a label after a friend spent several minutes trying to turn off the water park ride

                                  alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                  alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                  alice@lgbtqia.space
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #93

                                  @th Wild Waves ain't got nothin' on this ride.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                    @benroyce I'd never heard of that...

                                    Huh, TIL 🤷🏼‍♀️

                                    @sandorspruit @Sassinake

                                    sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS This user is from outside of this forum
                                    sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS This user is from outside of this forum
                                    sandorspruit@mastodon.nl
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #94

                                    @alice @benroyce @Sassinake Ooh, I see. Nice idea right, inspect the goods before you flush them.

                                    sassinake@mastodon.socialS emily_rugburn@lgbtqia.spaceE 2 Replies Last reply
                                    0
                                    • iwillyeah@mastodon.ieI iwillyeah@mastodon.ie

                                      @alice what happens you page the dude on the right? Or is that the button for buttplug installation?

                                      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                      alice@lgbtqia.space
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #95

                                      @Iwillyeah I think it's like the player indicator on a Wiimote.

                                      You know, for party games 💁🏼‍♀️

                                      iwillyeah@mastodon.ieI 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

                                        @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake

                                        real men give themselves anal fissures!

                                        show the poop who is boss!

                                        if you're not wiping with sandpaper quality toilet paper you're WEAK!

                                        (/s)

                                        🥴

                                        sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                        sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                        sassinake@mastodon.social
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #96

                                        @benroyce @alice @cynthiarose

                                        But the alternative is worse:

                                        Where guys talk themselves into thinking touching anywhere 'around there' is 'gay', so they don't wipe - or wash - their asses.

                                        like... AT ALL.

                                        benroyce@mastodon.socialB alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 2 Replies Last reply
                                        0
                                        • sassinake@mastodon.socialS sassinake@mastodon.social

                                          @benroyce @sandorspruit @alice

                                          (why did I have to put my 2c in?)

                                          benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                          benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                          benroyce@mastodon.social
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #97

                                          @Sassinake @sandorspruit @alice

                                          🤭

                                          1 Reply Last reply
                                          0
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