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  3. This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

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  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

    @benroyce bidets are great, but if you don't have one, I recommend that fancy toilet paper that turns red when you've wiped enough.

    @Sassinake

    jrdepriest@infosec.exchangeJ This user is from outside of this forum
    jrdepriest@infosec.exchangeJ This user is from outside of this forum
    jrdepriest@infosec.exchange
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #81

    @alice @benroyce @Sassinake

    At a hemorrhoid haver, I feel this one.

    We buy wet wipes in bulk.

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

      @Sassinake @alice

      i don't know about canada, but in the usa bidets are having an uptick in popularity

      they leave you cleaner than toilet paper, and it's a better experience

      toilet paper is never going away. i wouldn't use a bidet in a public rest room, that's for damn sure. but at home?

      while europe/ japan/ etc looks with confusion and befuddlement at our in-sink garbage disposal, they're walking around with cleaner bums

      but let's not get into the dutch poop shelf

      sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS This user is from outside of this forum
      sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS This user is from outside of this forum
      sandorspruit@mastodon.nl
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #82

      @benroyce @Sassinake @alice Euh, I am going to regret asking this but, euh, what’s a Dutch poop shelf? 🤔😬

      benroyce@mastodon.socialB 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

        This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

        - boob wash
        - water-park ride
        - options menu
        - multiplayer select

        - volume control
        - channel selector
        - smoking instructions?

        I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

        joe@toot.worksJ This user is from outside of this forum
        joe@toot.worksJ This user is from outside of this forum
        joe@toot.works
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #83

        @alice I used a bidet in a random burger place that had "Stop button doesn't work. Flush to stop." written in english above the controls. It makes me wonder what happened before they printed that label.

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
          alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
          alice@lgbtqia.space
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #84

          @1000millimeter the boob wash is for everyone with a butt, and the water park is for vagina-owners.

          @mercurial

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS sandorspruit@mastodon.nl

            @benroyce @Sassinake @alice Euh, I am going to regret asking this but, euh, what’s a Dutch poop shelf? 🤔😬

            benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
            benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
            benroyce@mastodon.social
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #85

            @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice

            people would want to look at their poop for health reasons. so you poop on a shelf in the bowl for inspection

            it's fading away, it's mostly historical and a curiousity nowadays in old houses. new builds in the netherlands don't have it. and it's not unique to the netherlands

            sassinake@mastodon.socialS alice@lgbtqia.spaceA morton@kolektiva.socialM 3 Replies Last reply
            0
            • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

              This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

              - boob wash
              - water-park ride
              - options menu
              - multiplayer select

              - volume control
              - channel selector
              - smoking instructions?

              I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

              simonwilliamson@mastodon.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
              simonwilliamson@mastodon.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
              simonwilliamson@mastodon.world
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #86

              @alice the third one looks like a fountain riding function, the next one a road (in case you want to go for a drive) and the last is for when you want to see a ghost.

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                - boob wash
                - water-park ride
                - options menu
                - multiplayer select

                - volume control
                - channel selector
                - smoking instructions?

                I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                th@social.v.stT This user is from outside of this forum
                th@social.v.stT This user is from outside of this forum
                th@social.v.st
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #87

                @alice we added a label after a friend spent several minutes trying to turn off the water park ride

                alice@lgbtqia.spaceA msbellows@c.imM 2 Replies Last reply
                0
                • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                  This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                  - boob wash
                  - water-park ride
                  - options menu
                  - multiplayer select

                  - volume control
                  - channel selector
                  - smoking instructions?

                  I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                  iwillyeah@mastodon.ieI This user is from outside of this forum
                  iwillyeah@mastodon.ieI This user is from outside of this forum
                  iwillyeah@mastodon.ie
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #88

                  @alice what happens you page the dude on the right? Or is that the button for buttplug installation?

                  alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                    alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                    alice@lgbtqia.space
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #89

                    @cynthiarose I read your reply, and for a brief moment was like "mine was a joke. That has to be a joke...right? Do half of men really wipe that hard with cheap toilet paper?"

                    💁🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ (I can be dense sometimes)

                    @benroyce @Sassinake

                    benroyce@mastodon.socialB 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

                      @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice

                      people would want to look at their poop for health reasons. so you poop on a shelf in the bowl for inspection

                      it's fading away, it's mostly historical and a curiousity nowadays in old houses. new builds in the netherlands don't have it. and it's not unique to the netherlands

                      sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                      sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                      sassinake@mastodon.social
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #90

                      @benroyce @sandorspruit @alice

                      (why did I have to put my 2c in?)

                      benroyce@mastodon.socialB alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 2 Replies Last reply
                      0
                      • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                        @cynthiarose I read your reply, and for a brief moment was like "mine was a joke. That has to be a joke...right? Do half of men really wipe that hard with cheap toilet paper?"

                        💁🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ (I can be dense sometimes)

                        @benroyce @Sassinake

                        benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                        benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                        benroyce@mastodon.social
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #91

                        @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake

                        real men give themselves anal fissures!

                        show the poop who is boss!

                        if you're not wiping with sandpaper quality toilet paper you're WEAK!

                        (/s)

                        🥴

                        sassinake@mastodon.socialS perrin42@mastodon.socialP a_minion@mastodon.socialA david@fouroclockfarms.clubD 4 Replies Last reply
                        0
                        • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

                          @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice

                          people would want to look at their poop for health reasons. so you poop on a shelf in the bowl for inspection

                          it's fading away, it's mostly historical and a curiousity nowadays in old houses. new builds in the netherlands don't have it. and it's not unique to the netherlands

                          alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                          alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                          alice@lgbtqia.space
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #92

                          @benroyce I'd never heard of that...

                          Huh, TIL 🤷🏼‍♀️

                          @sandorspruit @Sassinake

                          sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS alexadeswift@lgbtqia.spaceA 2 Replies Last reply
                          0
                          • th@social.v.stT th@social.v.st

                            @alice we added a label after a friend spent several minutes trying to turn off the water park ride

                            alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                            alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                            alice@lgbtqia.space
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #93

                            @th Wild Waves ain't got nothin' on this ride.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                              @benroyce I'd never heard of that...

                              Huh, TIL 🤷🏼‍♀️

                              @sandorspruit @Sassinake

                              sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS This user is from outside of this forum
                              sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS This user is from outside of this forum
                              sandorspruit@mastodon.nl
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #94

                              @alice @benroyce @Sassinake Ooh, I see. Nice idea right, inspect the goods before you flush them.

                              sassinake@mastodon.socialS emily_rugburn@lgbtqia.spaceE 2 Replies Last reply
                              0
                              • iwillyeah@mastodon.ieI iwillyeah@mastodon.ie

                                @alice what happens you page the dude on the right? Or is that the button for buttplug installation?

                                alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                alice@lgbtqia.space
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #95

                                @Iwillyeah I think it's like the player indicator on a Wiimote.

                                You know, for party games 💁🏼‍♀️

                                iwillyeah@mastodon.ieI 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

                                  @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake

                                  real men give themselves anal fissures!

                                  show the poop who is boss!

                                  if you're not wiping with sandpaper quality toilet paper you're WEAK!

                                  (/s)

                                  🥴

                                  sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                  sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                  sassinake@mastodon.social
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #96

                                  @benroyce @alice @cynthiarose

                                  But the alternative is worse:

                                  Where guys talk themselves into thinking touching anywhere 'around there' is 'gay', so they don't wipe - or wash - their asses.

                                  like... AT ALL.

                                  benroyce@mastodon.socialB alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 2 Replies Last reply
                                  0
                                  • sassinake@mastodon.socialS sassinake@mastodon.social

                                    @benroyce @sandorspruit @alice

                                    (why did I have to put my 2c in?)

                                    benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                    benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                    benroyce@mastodon.social
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #97

                                    @Sassinake @sandorspruit @alice

                                    🤭

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS sandorspruit@mastodon.nl

                                      @alice @benroyce @Sassinake Ooh, I see. Nice idea right, inspect the goods before you flush them.

                                      sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                      sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                      sassinake@mastodon.social
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #98

                                      @sandorspruit @alice @benroyce

                                      I mean... feces are a good indicator for health...

                                      msbellows@c.imM 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • sassinake@mastodon.socialS sassinake@mastodon.social

                                        @benroyce @sandorspruit @alice

                                        (why did I have to put my 2c in?)

                                        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                        alice@lgbtqia.space
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #99

                                        @Sassinake sometimes you're aiming for an innocent question, and you just end up stepping in it.

                                        @benroyce @sandorspruit

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

                                          @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake

                                          real men give themselves anal fissures!

                                          show the poop who is boss!

                                          if you're not wiping with sandpaper quality toilet paper you're WEAK!

                                          (/s)

                                          🥴

                                          perrin42@mastodon.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
                                          perrin42@mastodon.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
                                          perrin42@mastodon.social
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #100

                                          @benroyce @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake

                                          I use steel wool.

                                          benroyce@mastodon.socialB perrin42@mastodon.socialP colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.networkC 3 Replies Last reply
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