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  3. This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

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  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

    This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

    - boob wash
    - water-park ride
    - options menu
    - multiplayer select

    - volume control
    - channel selector
    - smoking instructions?

    I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

    iwillyeah@mastodon.ieI This user is from outside of this forum
    iwillyeah@mastodon.ieI This user is from outside of this forum
    iwillyeah@mastodon.ie
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #88

    @alice what happens you page the dude on the right? Or is that the button for buttplug installation?

    alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
      alice@lgbtqia.space
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #89

      @cynthiarose I read your reply, and for a brief moment was like "mine was a joke. That has to be a joke...right? Do half of men really wipe that hard with cheap toilet paper?"

      💁🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ (I can be dense sometimes)

      @benroyce @Sassinake

      benroyce@mastodon.socialB 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

        @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice

        people would want to look at their poop for health reasons. so you poop on a shelf in the bowl for inspection

        it's fading away, it's mostly historical and a curiousity nowadays in old houses. new builds in the netherlands don't have it. and it's not unique to the netherlands

        sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
        sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
        sassinake@mastodon.social
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #90

        @benroyce @sandorspruit @alice

        (why did I have to put my 2c in?)

        benroyce@mastodon.socialB alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 2 Replies Last reply
        0
        • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

          @cynthiarose I read your reply, and for a brief moment was like "mine was a joke. That has to be a joke...right? Do half of men really wipe that hard with cheap toilet paper?"

          💁🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ (I can be dense sometimes)

          @benroyce @Sassinake

          benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
          benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
          benroyce@mastodon.social
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #91

          @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake

          real men give themselves anal fissures!

          show the poop who is boss!

          if you're not wiping with sandpaper quality toilet paper you're WEAK!

          (/s)

          🥴

          sassinake@mastodon.socialS perrin42@mastodon.socialP a_minion@mastodon.socialA david@fouroclockfarms.clubD 4 Replies Last reply
          0
          • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

            @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice

            people would want to look at their poop for health reasons. so you poop on a shelf in the bowl for inspection

            it's fading away, it's mostly historical and a curiousity nowadays in old houses. new builds in the netherlands don't have it. and it's not unique to the netherlands

            alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
            alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
            alice@lgbtqia.space
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #92

            @benroyce I'd never heard of that...

            Huh, TIL 🤷🏼‍♀️

            @sandorspruit @Sassinake

            sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS alexadeswift@lgbtqia.spaceA 2 Replies Last reply
            0
            • th@social.v.stT th@social.v.st

              @alice we added a label after a friend spent several minutes trying to turn off the water park ride

              alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
              alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
              alice@lgbtqia.space
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #93

              @th Wild Waves ain't got nothin' on this ride.

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                @benroyce I'd never heard of that...

                Huh, TIL 🤷🏼‍♀️

                @sandorspruit @Sassinake

                sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS This user is from outside of this forum
                sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS This user is from outside of this forum
                sandorspruit@mastodon.nl
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #94

                @alice @benroyce @Sassinake Ooh, I see. Nice idea right, inspect the goods before you flush them.

                sassinake@mastodon.socialS emily_rugburn@lgbtqia.spaceE 2 Replies Last reply
                0
                • iwillyeah@mastodon.ieI iwillyeah@mastodon.ie

                  @alice what happens you page the dude on the right? Or is that the button for buttplug installation?

                  alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                  alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                  alice@lgbtqia.space
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #95

                  @Iwillyeah I think it's like the player indicator on a Wiimote.

                  You know, for party games 💁🏼‍♀️

                  iwillyeah@mastodon.ieI 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

                    @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake

                    real men give themselves anal fissures!

                    show the poop who is boss!

                    if you're not wiping with sandpaper quality toilet paper you're WEAK!

                    (/s)

                    🥴

                    sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                    sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                    sassinake@mastodon.social
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #96

                    @benroyce @alice @cynthiarose

                    But the alternative is worse:

                    Where guys talk themselves into thinking touching anywhere 'around there' is 'gay', so they don't wipe - or wash - their asses.

                    like... AT ALL.

                    benroyce@mastodon.socialB alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 2 Replies Last reply
                    0
                    • sassinake@mastodon.socialS sassinake@mastodon.social

                      @benroyce @sandorspruit @alice

                      (why did I have to put my 2c in?)

                      benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                      benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                      benroyce@mastodon.social
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #97

                      @Sassinake @sandorspruit @alice

                      🤭

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • sandorspruit@mastodon.nlS sandorspruit@mastodon.nl

                        @alice @benroyce @Sassinake Ooh, I see. Nice idea right, inspect the goods before you flush them.

                        sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                        sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                        sassinake@mastodon.social
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #98

                        @sandorspruit @alice @benroyce

                        I mean... feces are a good indicator for health...

                        msbellows@c.imM 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • sassinake@mastodon.socialS sassinake@mastodon.social

                          @benroyce @sandorspruit @alice

                          (why did I have to put my 2c in?)

                          alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                          alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                          alice@lgbtqia.space
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #99

                          @Sassinake sometimes you're aiming for an innocent question, and you just end up stepping in it.

                          @benroyce @sandorspruit

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

                            @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake

                            real men give themselves anal fissures!

                            show the poop who is boss!

                            if you're not wiping with sandpaper quality toilet paper you're WEAK!

                            (/s)

                            🥴

                            perrin42@mastodon.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
                            perrin42@mastodon.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
                            perrin42@mastodon.social
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #100

                            @benroyce @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake

                            I use steel wool.

                            benroyce@mastodon.socialB perrin42@mastodon.socialP colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.networkC 3 Replies Last reply
                            0
                            • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                              @benroyce bidets are great, but if you don't have one, I recommend that fancy toilet paper that turns red when you've wiped enough.

                              @Sassinake

                              colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.networkC This user is from outside of this forum
                              colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.networkC This user is from outside of this forum
                              colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.network
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #101

                              @alice @benroyce @Sassinake I am in Canada right now and can report every toilet in my sister's house has a bidet feature (Tushy brand). 🇨🇦💩🚽

                              sassinake@mastodon.socialS 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • sassinake@mastodon.socialS sassinake@mastodon.social

                                @benroyce @alice @cynthiarose

                                But the alternative is worse:

                                Where guys talk themselves into thinking touching anywhere 'around there' is 'gay', so they don't wipe - or wash - their asses.

                                like... AT ALL.

                                benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                benroyce@mastodon.social
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #102

                                @Sassinake @alice @cynthiarose

                                just MAGA toilet habits

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • perrin42@mastodon.socialP perrin42@mastodon.social

                                  @benroyce @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake

                                  I use steel wool.

                                  benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                  benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                  benroyce@mastodon.social
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #103

                                  @Perrin42 @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake

                                  LOOK HERE, A REAL MAN!

                                  😆

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • sassinake@mastodon.socialS sassinake@mastodon.social

                                    @benroyce @alice @cynthiarose

                                    But the alternative is worse:

                                    Where guys talk themselves into thinking touching anywhere 'around there' is 'gay', so they don't wipe - or wash - their asses.

                                    like... AT ALL.

                                    alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                    alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                    alice@lgbtqia.space
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #104

                                    @Sassinake my straight and bi girlfriends have told me horror stories. I've been lucky; all the guys I've been with have been amenable to wiping.

                                    @benroyce @cynthiarose

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • perrin42@mastodon.socialP perrin42@mastodon.social

                                      @benroyce @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake

                                      I use steel wool.

                                      perrin42@mastodon.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
                                      perrin42@mastodon.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
                                      perrin42@mastodon.social
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #105

                                      @benroyce @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake

                                      To keep it clean and reuse it I soak it in rubbing alcohol and lemon juice.

                                      benroyce@mastodon.socialB alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 2 Replies Last reply
                                      0
                                      • colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.networkC colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.network

                                        @alice @benroyce @Sassinake I am in Canada right now and can report every toilet in my sister's house has a bidet feature (Tushy brand). 🇨🇦💩🚽

                                        sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                        sassinake@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                        sassinake@mastodon.social
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #106

                                        @ColesStreetPothole @alice @benroyce

                                        yeah, I doubt we live in the same Class.

                                        i remember visiting with some Français and they had them imported and installed in their nice house in Outremont.

                                        colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.networkC 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • sassinake@mastodon.socialS sassinake@mastodon.social

                                          @sandorspruit @alice @benroyce

                                          I mean... feces are a good indicator for health...

                                          msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                          msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                          msbellows@c.im
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #107

                                          @Sassinake @sandorspruit @alice @benroyce I think they mainly were checking for worms.

                                          Really.

                                          (And no, this is not a Diet of Worms joke. I'm more mature than that.)

                                          benroyce@mastodon.socialB 1 Reply Last reply
                                          0
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