This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
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@Sassinake @alice A bidet is a bidet, and a toilet is a toilet. If you don't have room in the bathroom for a bidet, you install a bidet ta. I have a bidetta.
@morton here in the US, I've only ever seen the combo toilet/bidet (usually as an aftermarket add-on to the toilet).
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@benroyce @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake
That's why I wear barbed-wire underwear. It really doesn't help at all, and in fact makes things much worse.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
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@benroyce @Sassinake @alice Um, we totally have bidets in Canada. I've never seen one in the wild, but Canadian stores sell them, they're not outlawed or anything. I've noticed the uptick in popularity too, but I haven't seen any hard data on how much of that is American vs Canadian. Sassinake, please don't try to make anal hydrophobia an identifying trait for Canadians, we don't need that kind of reputation.
But I don't mind if you want to say that's how it is in Saskatchewan, or whatever*.*Please interpret this as friendly, jocular ribbing, I don't actually want to beef.
@Space_Burger_Steve @Sassinake @alice
zero doubt
when i said "i don't know about canada" i didn't mean "that barbaric place of unclean bums" i meant "i'm american but i'm not going to be that stereotypical arrogant asshole that speaks on behalf of experiences and situations in other countries"
i would assume bidet use in canada is prevalent. but i just don't know, so i won't speak on canada's behalf
is canada as in-sink garbage disposal mad as the usa too?
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@benroyce @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake
That's why I wear barbed-wire underwear. It really doesn't help at all, and in fact makes things much worse.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
@benroyce @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake
(I was going to go for chainmail underwear, for the pinchingness and hairpullingness, but the barbed wire seemed tougher.)
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i don't know about canada, but in the usa bidets are having an uptick in popularity
they leave you cleaner than toilet paper, and it's a better experience
toilet paper is never going away. i wouldn't use a bidet in a public rest room, that's for damn sure. but at home?
while europe/ japan/ etc looks with confusion and befuddlement at our in-sink garbage disposal, they're walking around with cleaner bums
but let's not get into the dutch poop shelf
@benroyce @Sassinake @alice Asian bum guns are the best. Squeaky clean and no paper waste
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@Sassinake @alice @benroyce They are $49 at Walmart in the U.S. so I don't know.
https://www.walmart.com/ip/TUSHY-Fresh-Bidet-Ultra-Slim-Toilet-Seat-Attachment-Self-Cleaning-Hygienic-Nozzle-White-Bamboo/5303527810?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=101044177&adid=22222222223000000000&wmlspartner=wmtlabs&wl0=e&wl1=o&wl2=m&wl3=10352200394&wl4=pla-1103028060075&wl5=87545&wl6=&wl7=&wl10=Walmart&wl11=Online&wl12=5303527810_10001063556&wl14=tushy%20bidet%20toilet%20seats%20website&veh=sem&msclkid=1f0b19cfb3f21bca8f3b73b83849b5fb&gclid=1f0b19cfb3f21bca8f3b73b83849b5fb&gclsrc=3p.ds@ColesStreetPothole @alice @benroyce
plus the space, the plumber, and the mortgage...
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@Iwillyeah I think it's like the player indicator on a Wiimote.
You know, for party games
️@alice that's why I never lock the door
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@ColesStreetPothole @alice @benroyce
plus the space, the plumber, and the mortgage...
@Sassinake @alice @benroyce
I installed the one at my house using a single adjustable wrench in ten minutes. -
@1000millimeter ooo, that might be a good marketing campaign for Americans!
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@benroyce @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake
(I was going to go for chainmail underwear, for the pinchingness and hairpullingness, but the barbed wire seemed tougher.)
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@Space_Burger_Steve @Sassinake @alice
zero doubt
when i said "i don't know about canada" i didn't mean "that barbaric place of unclean bums" i meant "i'm american but i'm not going to be that stereotypical arrogant asshole that speaks on behalf of experiences and situations in other countries"
i would assume bidet use in canada is prevalent. but i just don't know, so i won't speak on canada's behalf
is canada as in-sink garbage disposal mad as the usa too?
@benroyce @Space_Burger_Steve @alice
it had its moment, in the 80s or 90s
bidets were a luxury imported by upper class Europeans, mostly.
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@msbellows the water park is for people with ponytails, the boob-wash is gender neutral.
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@Sassinake @alice @benroyce
I installed the one at my house using a single adjustable wrench in ten minutes.@ColesStreetPothole @alice @benroyce
Why did you mention your sister, then, if you have you own in your huge bathroom in your own house?
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@benroyce @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake
That really makes me wonder now about the whole "chainmail bikini" thing. Can you imagine the pinching? And hair pulling? I think it'd be better to get stabbed.
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@msbellows @Sassinake @sandorspruit @alice
absolutely
it's hard for the modern mind to contemplate the kinds of shit (pun intended) our ancestors had to go through that we are completely oblivious too
it's why there is so many antivax people. they are embarrassingly unaware as to why it's so important and what they're risking. their ancestors would hit them over the head with a frying pan if they heard that antivax shit, they were acutely aware of what a godsend vaccinations are
@benroyce @Sassinake @sandorspruit @alice On the other hand, the people that invented the Dutch toilet shelf would have been HUGE fans of Ivermectin (a worm medicine).
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@benroyce @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake
That really makes me wonder now about the whole "chainmail bikini" thing. Can you imagine the pinching? And hair pulling? I think it'd be better to get stabbed.
@benroyce @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake
How did this conversation get from bidets to chainmail underwear? Oh, right.
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@benroyce @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake
That really makes me wonder now about the whole "chainmail bikini" thing. Can you imagine the pinching? And hair pulling? I think it'd be better to get stabbed.
@Perrin42 @benroyce @alice @cynthiarose
somehow, I don't think the boys imagining chaimail bikinies are imagining anything short of baby-smooth
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@msbellows everyone is allowed on the water park ride if they want to give it a try. @alice isn't your real boss.
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"options menu"
common error
if you look carefully the button clearly indicates "contemplate the passage of time on the timescale of geological layers." the button means you want to be undisturbed for a bit
which is what we do while sitting on the toilet
or at least i do, don't call me out
isn't this the root behavior and linguistic source of the word "analysis"?
🤭
